Past Hell's Gates
by happytide
Summary: Jessy has been lied to by the RDA her entire life. When she accidently ends up in the jungles of Pandora she may be coming closer to discovering who she is and finding a potential life mate. RATED M.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar! I'm just in love with it.**

As the Scorpion gunship slowly began its ascent from hell's gate, my thumbs drummed excitedly in my lap.

"Pandora is nothing like Earth Jessy, nothing like anything you've ever experienced." Helen had told my in her all knowing voice, only days before. True, I'd never been to Earth. I hadn't even been past Hells Gate, the only thing separating the RDA base from the wild jungles of Pandora. But from what I'd been taught, I knew Earth and Pandora were nothing alike. One was barren, abused and greenless the other a youthful bright planet devoted to life.

At the moment, Helen was sitting strapped at my side, telling something to the pilot in the cockpit through the transmitter around her neck. I'd known Helen since birth. She was my trainer, my nurse, basically my guardian; Well, my assigned guardian. Helen had been working for the RDA, long before I was born...created. She didn't work for the money though. No, Helen was in it because of her passion for science. Helen had been the one to teach me what I was, what I would become and most of all, my purpose.

As a child it didn't take long for me to see that I looked nothing like the humans around me. I was blue and long with twitchy ears and a tale with a mind of its own. I most definetly wasn't human; something else entirely.

"Your DNA comes from the Na'vi." Helen I told me once when I was younger. I didn't know what DNA even was then, but I soon caught on; I was man-made. But why?

"You won't need to worry about that until you're older." She'd said. The answer was simple. They wanted me as a negotiator, a peace keeper. Someone who could negotiate between the Natives and RDA. RDA was in the process of trying to conform the Na'vi. Make them speak English, act like us, and dress like us. They wanted to make the savage Na'vi civilized. What better way to do that then to show one of their own kind, civilized as a human. The relatioship between the Na'vi and humans were currently unfriendly. I was meant to change that.

My attention was broken from my thoughts when we passed over Hell Gates and into the vibrant jungles of Pandora. My mouth dropped open.

I'd never seen any thing like this before! It was so.. green and full of life! I resisted to the urge to lunge out of my seat and swan dive into it's green arms. I'd been raised within Hell's Gates, kept away from the forest and the rest of the Na'vi. I'd in fact never seen another Na'vi in my entire life. What was below was just..magnificent.

"It's beautiful," I murmured.

"Yes, it is," Helen agreed, equally captured by the scenery below. I hadn't thought she'd heard me over the gunship's engines. Her voice sounded slightly muffled from under her exopack mask. Unlike her, I didn't need a breathing mask. Yet another thing that made me so different from the humans I'd been raised around.

"Could we land somewhere? Just real quick?" I asked eagerly, looking down at the vibrant jungle below with awe.

In the cockpit in front of me, Ray barked out a laugh. Even from behind his exopack mask his voice sounded beautiful.

I'd been in love with Ray since I was ten, when I was first introduced to him. Or was it that I was in love with the idea of Ray? He was everything I wasn't. What wasn't to love about him? He had curly dark hair with a dimple when he smiled. . Everyone around the sector loved Ray. He was very charasmatic man with a great sense of humor. His charming ways were irresistible. I knew that not everyone around the sector found me... charming. Perhaps annoying. The biggest most obvious difference between Ray and I was the simple fact that he was human and I was not. I didn't even have a remote chance of being with Ray. Hell, I was the same height as him by time I was 11. And now I towered over him. Of course I knew he didn't have the same feelings as I did.

Ray was a marine. Pandora was nothing new to him. He'd probably known his way around Pandora better then a Native. When Ray had heard of the RDA's new project, the Avatar project, he and many other marines flocked to Pandora. The Avatar program was still in the process of being created though so for now he had to be one of the normal foot soldiers on base.

Helen chuckled also. "You're nowhere near ready to set foot in a Pandoran jungle," Helen said.  
I frowned but I'd expected this answer. Since the age of seven I'd been taught of the unsafety of Pandora. Pandora was beautfil yet dangerous. I wasn't ready to face that.

"Give it a month," Ray said to me from the cockpit. A month. What difference would a month make.

"Goodness child! You re not even strapped in!" Helen exclaimed, just now noticing my disregard for safety.

I shrugged it off as I continued to gaze, awed at the scenery below. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a small flash of blue below. I leaned closer for a better look. Was that a Na'vi? An actual Na'vi in the flesh!

"I think I just saw a Native!" I cried, squinting my eyes.

"Pandora is full of them."

Just then another flash of blue crossed my vision but then suddenly a large shadow cast over the scorpion. I glanced around bewildered. Helen's eyes mirrored mine. Then suddenly there was a loud whooshing sound. It sounded like wings.

"Oh shit!" I heard Ray shout from the cockpit as the chopper rattled.

"What? What's out there?" I asked, bewildered.

"Jessy, buckle yourself in!" Ray yelled back, strain evident in his voice.

"But-"

"Now!" He called sharply. At that moment there was a loud banging at the back of the gunship, causing us all to lurch forward. I was propelled into the back of Ray's seat. 'Maybe it is good idea to strap up,' I thought as my head came into contact with the back of the seat. When I shook off the pain in my head and opened my eyes I gasped, seeing the hugest, ugliest flying beast I'd ever seen through the side window. It's entire body was covered in a leathery, angry red-orange skin. A Great Leonopteryx! No way!

I lurched back into my seat and my hands fumbled for my belt, while my mouth hung open in horror.

Just as I was about to click in the belt, the gunship was attacked again, forcing it to rocket towards the side. This time it sent me flying out of my chair. I scrambled on the floor for a moment before slipping over the edge of the open side doors. Luckily my hand caught onto the rail at the bottom of the gunship. I peered down below me as I hung precariously from the rail.

_Oh my God! I think I crapped my pants!_

The gunship was passing over a large water formation that looked almost like a water fall. At that moment, my small hand-held gun slipped out of my holster and went tumbling down into the water below. I hoped I wouldn't have the same fate.

I heard Helen screaming something inside the gunship. As I tried to pull myself up I could feel the air around me being stirred from the beast's flapping wings, as it slammed into the scorpion again.

The recoil forced me to lose my grip and I went free falling down into the deep tundra below. I screamed as the air rushed past me until suddenly I slammed into a tree bark then another and another until my bottom made contact with the hard ground.

"Ooof!" I cried. My butt felt completely numb. I took a second to catch my ragged breath. As I tried to stand up the numbness quickly dissipated and was replaced with a splitting pain. I winced. Not only was there pain in my butt but pain was radiating from my right ankle and I knew it had to be twisted. I wasn't at all used to this much pain. I listened over head for the gunship as I heard the engine slowly begin to fade away. They were leaving!

I wasn't sure what I should do. Should I wait here and hope they find me? Or should I try to follow them? Or should I go back and look for my gun?

They were still probably being attcked by that brainless flying beast thing. I hoped they were okay!

Suddenly I noticed my surroundings. If I thought seeing Pandora from the copter was beautiful then this was downright awe inspiring. Never in my life had I seen so many colors in one setting. Purple, orange green! They were all here. The plants and the flora were practically bouncing with life. Back on the Base all plant life was routinely cut away. In the distance I could hear animals chirping and cooing. And a little bit of growling.

I swallowed. Maybe going back in search of my gun was the best idea. I couldn't possibly ward off any of the potentially dangerous animals without it. I would be a sitting duck. Digging into the pocket of the gray wind suit I was wearing, I pulled out the small device that maybe was my only chance of surviving. I held onto the small red button as I spoke into the communicator.

"Ray, this is Jessy do you read?" No reply.

"I repeat do you read?" I chewed my lip nervously. Looks like I was out of options. " I hope your okay Ray, I'm heading towards the waterfall we passed."

Still no reply. Shit. Could this get any worse? Giving up on the stupid communicator, I began my trek in what I hoped was the direction I'd dropped my gun. It was extremely unlikely I would find it. With the luck I was having today, it would probably be at the very bottom of that waterfall I'd seen.

As I hacked my way through the thick jungle I tried to recall everything I'd been taught about the wild life on Pandora. From what I learned, the worse time to be out in this jungle would be at night. That was when all of Pandora's nastiest little creatures came out. I hoped I wouldn't be here long enough to see the sun go down. When we'd left Hell's Gate it had been around 4:30. Lord knew what time it was now.

I continually swatted away pesky bugs that were attracted to my sweat. After about ten minutes my long black hair was sticking to my face and my ankle was constantly radiating pain.

Steadily as I continued to trek through the thick foliage I began to hear the sounds of running water. The waterfall! I must have been close.

I picked up my pace. The closer I got the louder the waterfall was. Finally I got to the point where the sound of the waterfall was all I heard and I could feel the mist from the water sticking to my sweaty skin. I pushed past one last group of bushes and I was greeted with the sight of the water form I'd seen earlier. Wasting no time, I began the search for my gun. I'd been searching for about an hour and the sun was beginning to set, when I noticed a glint of silver up at the very top of the water fall, where the water was coming from. Hoping that the silver glint was my gun, I began to ascend and climb to the top of the falls, slipping and scuffing my knees every now and then. By the time I reached the top of the ledge, my ankle was aching and I could feel a steady throb in my tail bone. I'd never worked so much in my life! I needed to work out more when I got back home. _If I got back home!_

I scanned the rushing water from the bank and finally noticed a glint of silver. I climbed closer for a better look and immediately groaned.

The gun sat perched on a large jutting rock, smack dab in the center of the waterfall. _Great. Ju great._ Water sliced past the rock dangerously. I took into account the few other rocks that were also protruding from the rushing water. Maybe if I could hop from rock to rock, I could get close enough to reach the gun.

I decided this was the best plan of action as I rolled up my sleeves and the cuffs of my pants and removed my white sneakers. Taking in a sharp breath I lunged forward to the nearest rock. I landed effortlessly. The rocks were less slippery then they looked. I tried jumping for the next rock while the adrenaline was still pumping in my blood. This one took a bit more effort but I made it. I could feel sweat soaking through the back of my windsuit. I hopped again to the next rock which was a bit closer then the last. Finally I was at the last rock. The distance between this rock and the rock holding my gun was greater than all the other rocks I had jumped so far. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

When I opened my eyes again I gasped when my eyes collided with pair of golden almond shaped eyes that glowed from inside the jungle on the other side of the waterfall. I had no clue what kind of animal I was staring at but I wasted no time finding out as I lunged in a rushed panic towards the last rock that held my gun.

With horror I realized that I hadn't jumped far enough as I started falling into the water only three fourths of the way to the rock. I fell into the chilly water and was pushed over the edge of the falls. For a moment I was free falling as I fell down the falls until I slammed into the water at the bottom. The currents pounded and pushed me in different directions. As a Na'vi, I was a natural born swimmer but I didn't stand a chance against the currents.

I struggled to reach the surface but the water pushed me down. Just as I thought I would pass out from lack of oxygen, my head connected with something hard and solid, and I was knocked unconscious.

**A/N: Please leave me a review and let me know what yall think.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to everyone you read my story or reviewed. **

When I opened my eyes everything was black. Once my eyes adjusted to the darkness I noticed small glowing blue bead like bags scattered over the ceiling, illuminated the room. I was in some sort of cave or alcove. I wasn't exactly sure but from the uneven shape of the room I was in it seemed that it was nature made. The room had a fresh, earthy smell. I was lying on the floor on some sort of furry soft blanket with another lying on top of me. Maybe some type of animal skin. Feeling the soft fabric brush against my naked skin, I gasped realizing my gray wind suit was gone.

How did I get here?

I began to sit up but quickly was hit with a wave of dizziness and was forced to lie back down. The exerted energy made me drowsy again and I started to drift off to sleep. Just as I was drifting off into sleep, my ears twitched, hearing a small murmur of voices approaching the room. The small voices grew in volume as they drew into the room and came by my side. My heart accelerated as I recognized the language being spoken; the native language of the Na'vi. Helen had taught me this language before she'd even taught me English.

"Is this the one Gar'han found?" ,one voice asked; It sounded female.

"Yes, Al'mah wants to speak to her," another voice replied, also female.

"Why?"

"Did you see what she was wearing when Gar'han found her?"

"No, what?"

"Human clothes."

I heard a faint gasp.

"Poor, poor child. She must have been captured by the demons and managed to escape. Thank Eywa she is alive." I felt a soft comforting palm rest onto my forehead.

"That's what I was thinking. And look at her hair." I felt another hand play with my long wavy strands.

"Mhm. No beads or anything, so plain." They continued to whisper back and forth but soon I began to drift off to sleep from fatigue.

The next time I opened my eyes I felt much more alert, the weight of fatigue gone from my limbs.

"Look! She's awake!"

My eyes snapped up to a pair of golden green eyes. My eyes widened. I'd never been face to face with a Na'vi. The only Na'vi I had ever seen was the one I saw in my mirror back home. By one glance, it was evident that she was a native. Her black hair was in braids, adorned with small trinkets and beads, and her clothing was scarce.

"Hello." She had a motherly voice that reminded me of Helen.

"Hello," I murmured, my voice coming out raspy.

"Anya, give the child a bit of water." Sitting at her side, a young Na'vi, probably a few years older than my seventeen years, passed me a gourd of cool water, her tail flickered back and forth excitedly. I chugged down every last drop without hesitation.

"Thank you" I whispered as I handed back the drinking gourd.

"What is your name, child?" the older woman asked me.

I opened my mouth for a second prepared to say Jessy, but I didn't think that it was such a good idea to give my very human name. The last thing I wanted was for them to be suspicious of me. One thing I was certain of was the Na'vi's hate for humans. I was practically a human in a Na'vi's body. I decided my best plan of action.

"I-I don't remember."

The woman was looking at me sadly. Could she tell I was lying?

"You poor child. You hit your head pretty hard. You've got a pretty big bump on your head to show for it."

I rain my fingers along my skull until I encountered a large lump and winced.

"Wouldn't be alive if it weren't for Gar'han."

"Who's Gar'han?" I asked.

"Only the bravest warrior in Kelutral!" The younger one exclaimed, her tail twitching. I recalled Helen's voice in my head teaching me that Kelutral was the same as Home Tree.

"Is that where we are right now? Kelutral?" I asked.

"Yes. My name is Janii and this here is Anya."

"It's a pleasure to meet you both. And thank you for taking care of me while I was passed out," I said.

"It's always a pleasure helping a sister of The People." She dipped a small cloth into a bowl of water, ringed it out and placed it against the lump on my woozy head. The cool cloth was soothing.

"Do you know where my clothes are?" I asked.

"The clothes you were wearing when Gar'han found you were the creations of the demons" she explained. I nodded mutely. Demons. Humans. For the Na'vi, these two words were the same

"So they were thrown away." Anya piped. What would I wear? And my communicator! True, it hadn't worked, but it was my only hope.

"Anya will be happy to give you something to wear," Janii said, reading my expressions and patted my hand as she and Anya rose.

"For now just rest," she said leaving, with Anya trailing behind her. Janii paused before she left, as if she had forgotten something.

"Oh and Al'mah would like to speak to you once you are feeling better." With that, both Na'vi women left. But who was Al'mah?

I yawned. Well my first ever encounter with the Na'vi hadn't gone so bad. If only Helen and Ray could see me now.

* * *

I walked barefoot down a corridor-like alcove with Janii at my side. I continually fidgeted with the clothing Anya had given me. I was practically wearing nothing. I had convinced Anya into giving me a pair of leggings and and a chest peice that was fairly modest compared to what most female Na'vi wore. Although the thing wasn't what I would ever consider modest, it was still beautiful; adorned with pretty feathers, and trinkets. But still I wasn't at all used to showing any skin. Most days I wore comfortable windsuits or sweats with a tanktop.

It had been a week since I'd first woken. A week and I hadn't seen hide or hair of Ray. I'd spent the entire week expecting him to come bursting to my rescue. This fantasy was completely impossible though. I didn't even know my own coordinates let alone Ray. The rest of my time was spent healing and taking the herbs that Janii gave me that were supposed to help with my head. Today, I'd finally been able to stand without toppling over. So today was the day I would have the pleasure of meeting the mysterious Al'mah. Janii had told me he was the current leader of thier clan and from the way she said his name, I could see he was highly revered.

"This is where Al'mah spends most of his time," Janii said as she pulled back a curtain of beads to reveal a large room.

"The War Room," she said. This room, like the room I had stayed in, was another natural alcove in the Home Tree. Except this room was much larger than the one I'd stayed in and the walls were stacked with all sorts of hand made weapons; boomerangs, bows, arrows, and axes.

I had noticed all the minor details of the room in a glance. What held my attention was the multitude of Na'vi that swarmed the room. I'd never thought I would ever see so many natives. There had to be over two dozen of them, all busy sharpening arrows and other such things. I took a few steps into the room, awed. Looking around the room I finally locked eyes with a familiar pair of golden almond eyes. They were the same eyes I'd seen glowing in the jungle on the other side of the waterfall! The almond eyes were connected to a male Na'vi who was sharpening an arrow with a serious looking face. Something told me he wasn't the type to smile often.

"You must be the child Gar'han rescued," an aged man's voice said from behind me. I swiveled around to look up at a grinning elder male Na'vi. Never in my life did I have to look up to see someone. He had a withered face that somehow seemed still full of life. He wore more clothing then the rest of the Na'vi in the room, and it made him look more important.

"Are you Al'mah?"

"Yes, I am."

For a moment I considered bowing. But I wasn't exactly sure if that was tradition here. I would most likely end up looking stupid.

"And I know who you are," he continued.

'Doubt it,' I thought sarcastically to myself. I cleared my throat. "You do?"

"Yes, but you have not yet discovered who you are."

I scratched the back of my neck growing nervous. "No, um, sir" I said, sticking to the story of I hit my head and now I can't remember anything."

"I knew your father," Al'mah said a-matter-of-factly, turning away to pick up a bow and examine it.

Father was a foreign word to me. It wasn't a word used much on base. I knew for a fact that I did not have a father. Or a mother for that matter. I was born in a lab, composed of Na'vi DNA. But I played along.

"Who was my father?"

He turned around to look at me with a knowing smile, and for some strange reason, it made me nervous.

"I think you should find that out on your own." Ok..? This guy was crazy.

"Did you know my mother as well?" Why was I encourageing him?

"Yes, I know her," he said stroking his beard and looking at me curiously, his eyes glimmering in the dim light. "You know, you look just like her."

"Gar'han!" Al'mah called suddenly, making me jump. I turned around extremely curious to know who Gar'han was. The male who'd I'd stared at earlier approached Al' mah with the same stoic look.

"Tomorrow I would like you to take Jessy to visit the plains clan, to see her mother." My eyes widened. He knew my name! It had rolled off his tongue in a Na'vi accent. And he wanted me to travel out there on the Pandora? Al'mah barked out a laughter, looking at my dinner plate sized eyes. "Don't look so scared child. Gar'han here is the best warrior in Kelutral and will protect you from any nasty things in our forests."

Gar'han dipped his head in a respectful nod.

If this was supposed to comfort me, it didn't do its job. How would Ray ever find me if I was running all over Pandora?

"I must go now. You're in good hands do not worry." He leaned forward to kiss me on each cheek and hurried off to attend to Lord knows what. For a moment I stood mouth agape, staring down the path Al'mah had hurried down.

Snapping out of my stupor, I looked up to see what Gar'han thought about all of this, but he had already disappeared.

"Come! We must prepare you for your journey!" Janii exclaimed. The rest of the evening was spent preparing me for my trip to the plains clan. That night I could barely close my eyes, let alone, fall asleep. For some odd reason my tumbled thoughts rested on Gar'han and his serious glowing eyes. I wonder what he thought of all this. Still thinking about Gar'han's thoughts, I drifted off to sleep, dreaming of a tall blue man.

Morning came too early.

"Get up! Get up!" Anya yelped pulling away the net like bed I'd been sleeping in. You get to see your mother! How exciting!"

"Five more minutes," I groaned. 'Oops. I'd just spoken English, but I doubt she'd heard me', I thought rolling up into a ball. My eyes flew open when I felt something being dragged throughout my hair.

"Ouch! What are you doing to me!" I exclaimed, my voiced muffled from being buried in a pillowing arm.

"Only trying to brush this jungle on you head." Anya giggled. During the small time I'd staid her, I'd learned Anya had a small obsession for hair, and I had let her (reluctantly) put a few braids and beads in it. I sat up and stretched and yawned. Anya tossed a woven sack on my lap. "Everything you need is in there. Get dressed in five minutes or I'm bringing in Janii." I frowned as I pulled off my night gown and struggled to put on the strange outfit Anya had given me. Now which was the front?

By the time I was ready and dressed, (I missed my own clothes) Anya gave me a small breakfast of fruit. When I'd finished eating she instructed me to follow her. We ascended up a path that I'd never been on before.

"Does this path lead to an entrance?" I asked, curiously.

"Yes." As we drew closer and closer to the entrance of Home tree the lighting began to get brighter and brighter, making my eyes adjust. By the time we were at the entrance the light from the sun was blinding. I hadn't been out of the tree in over a week. I shielded my eyes with my hands.

"Do you know how to ride a direhorse?" Anya asked, leading me out into the clearing outside the mouth of Home Tree. I took in a deep breath of Pandoran air. Other Na'vi were hanging around everywhere doing domestic duties, and even a few children were playing.

"No." Anya laughed.

"Guess you re going to have to learn." Right after these words were said, the sound of trotting, heavy hooves steadily approached.

"What! No! I-I can't!" I stammered hurriedly.

"Why not?" Anya said playfully, as a huge direhorse trotted to her side. She caressed its thick skinned jaw softly. Anya continued to giggle as she took in my panicked expression.

"I am only joking! We don't have nearly enough time to teach you." I frowned and bended down to dig my fingers in the mud to mold a decent sized clump.

"What are you-" Anya started, before I cut her off by chugging the mud in the dead center of her chest. I' been aiming for her face but that would do. By this time I was laughing like a crazy person.

I was quickly shut up when mud was splattered on my face; Anya had better aim then I did. I sputtered pathetically, it had gotten into my mouth!

"You will be riding with me," a deep voice said behind me. I turned around to see Gar'han approaching on his own direhorse. I tried my best to wipe the drippy mud off of my face. I'd never heard him speak until now. He swiftly climbed down.

Not waiting for a response from me, he tossed me a sleek bow. I caught it barely and studied the intricate carvings.

_"The Na'vi carve their bows from the bark of their Hometree. It's sort of a rite of passage."_ Helen had told me once in my earlier years. It was pretty.

"Do you know how to use it," he asked, taking my sack and strapping it to the dire horse.

"Yes," I lied. I did not feel like receiving a long lesson on the art of archery, or whatever the Na vi called it.

"Good, let s go." With that he leaped gracefully onto the back of the direhorse, connecting his queue with the horse s antennae, in one swift motion. When Helen had taught me of the queue connections, I'd always thought it was a little gross. I felt a pair of arms being thrown around me. I awkwardly hugged Anya back.

"I hope you find what you re looking for," she said before letting me go.

I nodded. "Tell Janii I said goodbye." She nodded in affirmation with a grin.

With that I turned around to face the difficult task of mounting myself onto the back of direhorse. Riding behind Gar'han would be awkward.

Maybe it wouldn't be as awkward if we were wearing more clothes ...I quickly shut off my thoughts as Gar'han offered me his hand. Climbing onto the direhorse wasn't as hard as it looked. It was as if my body was meant for jumping and leaping.

I settled myself behind Gar han and wrapped my arms (casually as possible) around his slim waist, giving as much room between our bodies as possible, hoping I hadn't accidentally sat on his tail. I turned around to give a quick wave to Anya who waved as a young Na'vi child tugged at her tail for her attention.

Suddenly the direhorse lurched forward and I reflexively tightened my thighs around Gar'han. I felt him squirm a bit and I immediately loosened my hold.

This would definitely be awkward.

* * *

**And that's chapter 2! ****Reviews make me happy and thanks for reading this far.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Avatar isn't mine, its James Cameron's**

**Thanks for the reviews.**

By the time it was evening, I had fallen asleep against Gar'han's back three times. Each time he had elbowed me (rudely) in the ribs, telling me if I fell off the horse he wasn't stopping for me. We'd taken a few breaks to give the direhorse some time to rest. During this time we would take a moment to stretch and eat.

"This is a good stopping point," he murmured when night had fallen, slowing down the direhorse until we stopped in front of the mouth of a shallow cave that I hadn't noticed until now.

"When do you think we will reach the plains?" I asked, as I stretched and popped my back. I smiled at the satisfying popping sound.

"Mid afternoon tomorrow," He said and began attending to the horse.

"Great." Not great. At this rate, I would never be rescued by Ray. I untied the satchel on my back that Anya had given me and pulled out the furry bed roll. I climbed into the tiny cave and set up for the night.

When Gar'han climbed inside I asked, "Are we going to light a fire or something?"

He blinked at me then muttered under his breath.

"What?" I mumbled pulling the soft furs over my legs.

"You are like a human inside a Na'vi's body," he muttered throwing down a woven blanket and lying down on his back. All I could do was shrug. I twirled my hair around one finger for a moment while we sat in silence.

"I know you've been lying," he said suddenly.

He knew I was lying? I tried to play it cool, "Okay," I sighed dramatically. "I don't really know how to use a bow and arrow."

He turned on his side to face me.

"I know you recognized me from the waterfall. I saw it on your face." I stayed silent, staring up at the ceiling of the cave. I thought back to when I had first seen him in the War Sanctum. Recognition had been clearly written on my face. "And I saw why you were jumping like a reckless fool on those rocks." He was quite the chatter box now. Before, while we were on the direhorse, he had barely spoken a word.

"Why?"

"The human weapon. The gun." he said.

"I don't know what you're-"

"Don't waste my time with your lying," he cut me off calmly.

"Well you're craz-"

"Forget it. You re just going to continue lying. But answer one question. Honestly."

I glanced at his piercing golden eyes nervously.

"Who's side are you on?" he asked.

Whose side am I on? I immediately knew he was speaking about the humans and the Na'vi. Now, I realized just how evident the Na'vi's feelings for humans. They treated it like it was a war or something. And I knew what side I would chose too. Humans, obviously. I cleared my throat uneasily.

"What sides do I have to choose from?" I asked, trying for a light tone as I turned onto my back.

"Let me put it simply for you," he said, his tone becoming irritated. "If there was a war between The Sky People and Na'vi right now, which side would you fight with?"

"Well there isn't a war right now between humans and Na'vi so why waste my time talking about politics," I argued. I turned my back to him, signaling the end of the confrontational conversation.

For a moment I thought he'd gotten the hint to shut up until I heard him whisper, "Al mah is always right."

I rolled my eyes at the cryptic statement and humored him by saying, "And what does that mean?"

"Jessy is your name?"

"Yes"

"So he was right about that."

I rolled my eyes again. "That's only one thing."

"Al'mah knows you're lying about losing your memory from your head injury." I heard him snort and I scowled. "But even though he knows this, he still says you don't know who are."

Back to this again.

"I know who I am," I snapped.

He continued as if I hadn't said a word. "And you don't know who your Sempul is, or your Sa'nok."

I paused. I wasn't going to very well tell him I was created, not born, and didn't have parents. He wouldn't understand even if I tried.

"Just what are you trying to say?" I asked.

For a few moments he was silent, as though he was thinking. Then he spoke. "What I'm saying is this. I'm not taking you to the plains because I think you hit your head and forgot you entire life. I'm taking you because I have faith in Al'mah and I truly believe that you don't know who you really are."

"I know who I am," I repeated, becoming annoyed. "You seem to think you know so much about me."

"I know you were raised by humans." My eyes widened, "It so obvious in you demeanor." His next words came out more hesitant. "And I'm sure they've lied to you."

"You don't know a thing about me."

"It's what Tawtute do. They manipulate-"

"I'm going to sleep."

"Your-"

"Goodnight!" I said, shutting my eyes, emphasizing the end of the conversation. I was glad to hear he had gotten the hint and shut up. But then I heard him whisper something that sounded like "Al mah is always right."

I ignored him and went to sleep.

When I opened my eyes, it was still dark outside and instinct told me that it was still the middle of the night. My bladder reminded me why I had woken up and I, quietly as possible, slipped out of the cave. One thing I definitely missed from home: toilet paper. The thought of using some random leaf really didn't sit well with me.

Although the sun wasn't out yet, the forest was still dancing with color from the bioluminescence with the plants. It was beautiful. I made my way a little away from the cave, not too far, but far enough that Gar'han wouldn't step out of the cave and see me popping a squat.

Not only did I need to relieve my bladder but I also needed to be by myself and have a moment to think about everything that had happened so quickly in the past week.

_What the hell am I doing?_ Ray would have to search all over Pandora to find me now. The chances of him finding me now where becoming slimmer every step I took away from the place I fell. Did they give up looking for me? I shook my head, not at all ready to accept that thought. One thing I knew for sure about Ray was that he was persistent. But still, what the hell was I doing? Was I going to sit around and wait for Ray to sweep, in like a hero, and take me back to base where I belonged? What other choice did I have though? I couldn't last a second in Pandora. Finding base by myself would be too dangerous. No, I wouldn't last a second in this forest, not alone. One thing I was sure of now was that I was safe with the Na'vi; safe with Gar'han. He was a native so he knew this forest like the back of his hand, whereas I'd only studied and heard about it.

If I ever wanted to see base again, I needed a plan. First I needed to find out where I was, geographically speaking. I thought back to the many lessons I received about Pandoran geography from Helen. Hometree was about 5 miles from the RDA base traveling north and if my memory was right, the Plains clan lived about 20 miles northwest from the Hometree. That was if my memory was correct though, and that was a fat _if_.

So what were my options? I could continue traveling with Gar'han, until we reached the plains clan. And then what? My other option was to go find base by myself. I knew the general direction to travel in. But I couldn't survive alone in these forests. It was too dangerous and I was too inexperienced. If traveled by myself, I end up as dinner for a hungry family of Thanators. It boiled down to those two options. My first choice was the smartest so I chose that one. I wasn't sure what I was planning to do once we reached the Plains clan but it was my best option.

After I took care of my business, I began to head back to the cave but froze when I heard a strange guttural noise. It sounded like a growl...without a moments hesitation I sprinted in the direction of the cave, getting whacked by a few branches in the process. Knowing my luck, the noise had probably come from a viperwolf that hadn't eaten in days. I scrambled through the mouth of the cave breathing hard. I tried to quiet my breathing so I could hear if something had followed me. All I could here was Gar'han snoring lightly.

I fell back onto my little sleeping palette with a huff. Yep. I definitely wouldn't last a second out there alone. I'd made the right decision. I drifted off to sleep.

I was roughly shaken awake.

"Get off, get off. I'm awake," I said grumpily shoving Gar'han's hands off me as I sat up and yawned.

"Good, gather your things so I can show you something," he said climbing out of the mouth of the cave. I scowled as I put my bed roll back in the sack Anya had given me. I was still a little bitter at him from last night for being so annoying.

Gar'han was tying his satchel to the direhorse when I emerged from the cave. He glanced up at me, before he reached around the horse to pull out the bow he had given me yesterday. At first my immediate reaction was Oh no. This again, but then I rethought. Learning how to use a bow and arrow would be a helpful for me for in the long run. If I ever planned on making it back to base I needed some form of self defense. He tossed me the bow and pulled out his own.

"Follow me," he instructed in a serious voice. I was starting to think that was the only voice he had. He led me a little ways from the cave where he found a tree and stuck a target-looking thing to it and walked back around 5 meters.

"What do you know about_ tsko swizaw_?" he asked as he pulled an arrow from the quiver on his back.

I know that they don't stand a chance against a gun.

"You pull back, aim and shoot?" The statement came out as a question as I ducked under my bow to put it in place and readied it for shooting.

"Yes, those are the basics," he said as he lifted his bow in place also. "Now do as I do." He put the arrow in place and pulled the bow tight then released. The arrow pierced the air and landed dead center in the target. Wow. Did it have to be exactly like that?

"Now you try it."

I placed the arrow as he did and pulled it tight. Before I had a chance to release, Gar'han cut me off.

"_Kehe, Kehe_. Your stance is all wrong. You're standing as though you re going to use a gun. Put that foot in front of that one," he pointed and I did as he said. "And fix your shoulders."

Fix them? Well, let me grab my tool box.

"What s wrong with them?"

He sighed impatiently, like I was twisting his arm to help me. He slung his bow on his back and came over to fix them himself. He pulled one shoulder further back then the other so that they were in line with my feet. "Now show me how you're going to aim." I tried again, this time with the stance he had taught me. "Tighten your hold on the _tsko_." I did. He shook his head and straightened one arm while he bent my other elbow to his liking. "Now try and shoot it."

I lifted the bow so that the arrow was in line with the target, pulled back then released. The arrow landed pathetically on the ground about a meter from the tree. I pressed my lips together to hold back the goofy smile that was about to burst out. This was worse than when Ray had first taught me to use a gun!

"Why are you smiling? _Fmi nìmun_." _Again_. The goofy smile quickly disappeared and was replaced by a scowl. Glaring at the target, I pulled back and released. This time it hit just below the tree. Gar'han sighed again and stood closer to me. "You re not pulling back tight enough." I pulled the bow tighter.

"No, tighter," he said, taking my elbow and pulling it further. "Ok, now. " He put his hand over my other and tightened the hold. I was surprised to find his hands were bigger than mine. "...line the arrow with the target." He stepped back. "Now _nìmun_." I released the arrow.

I gasped when the arrow actually hit the bark. It was nowhere near the target but still I'd hit the tree! This time I didn't hold back the huge grin that spread across my face.

Gar'han, who was clearly not nearly as impressed as I was, rolled his eyes when he saw my smile and pulled something out of his belt. When he gave it to me I saw that it was a knife. "Ok, let's forget the bow for now; we don't have time for me to teach you more. If you're ever in any danger and I'm not around, this will probably be your only chance at staying alive."

I nodded. I could use a dagger.

"We should head out now." He said. Wasting no more daylight, we went back to the cave, saddled onto the direhorse and continued towards the Plains clan.

About half an hour into the ride I began to grow restless.

"Would you sit still? You're making her nervous," Gar'han said, irritated as he rubbed the back of the direhorse's head. It was a she?

"Sorry," I muttered. "So, um, what s the Plains clan like?" I asked, becoming bored with the silence. Yesterday the silence hadn't bothered me at all, in fact it had put me to sleep, but that was before I knew Gar'han was capable of communication.

"Like most other clans," he answered.

I waited for him to elaborate but that was all he said. Apparently someone wasn't in a conversational mood. "Couldn t get you shut-up last night," I muttered quietly to myself in English.

I heard him chuckle dryly in front of me. Had he understood me?

"They don't ride banshee as we do however. They prefer direhorse's. In fact they are also known as the Horse clan of the Plains. And they're culture is slightly different. The plains clan members tend to have tattoos and piercing. Those are the basic differences."

"You speak English?" I asked.

"A little." He said in English. His accent was heavy but it was still English.

"How did you learn?" I asked. This was amazing! Just wait till Ray heard about this. The RDA's plans for conforming the Na'vi into the human ways were finally coming into effect. I wondered how many other Na'vi knew English.

"How did you learn?" he shot back.

I was about to say I asked you first but it sounded a bit childish in my head. After a pause I decided to answer honestly. "Humans taught me. Now, how did you learn?"

"_Tawtute_ taught me also." he responded. My eyes widened. "But not in the way you think. I picked it up from being around humans."

"When were you around humans?"

He paused as if he was deciding if he was going to tell me something.

"The humans come to our forests often. To collect some of our plants and resources. Sometimes they will not bother The People but sometimes they are a danger." I knew the RDA, on a regular basis, collected samples and resources from the forest, but I did not see how they could ever be dangerous. "So we keep a close eye on them. And after being around them for so long, I picked up the language," he finished.

"How are humans a harm to the Na'vi?" I asked.

"This is a good stopping point," he said as he slowed the direhorse to a stop. At first I thought he wasn't going to my answer question but then he continued. "To the humans, The People are nothing more than an obstacle in the way of what they want," he said as he walked up to the direhorse to feed it, I mean her.

"And what do they really want?" I asked following him.

"I suppose our resources and minerals but you know that better than I do," he said.

Unobtanium. I knew the RDA's economy was dependent on many of Pandora's resources. I frowned. "But you think that the humans would hurt the Na'vi to get to those resources?"

He looked up and locked eyes with me. "I don't think, I know this for a fact. And if you stick around long enough, you will see for yourself." There was a bitter edge to his voice.

After that we did not talk for the rest of the journey. I was busy contemplating what Gar'han had said about the humans being a danger to the Na'vi, and Gar han was busy being silent. The forest had begun to dwindle away and give way to flat land and I knew we were getting close to the plains clan.

That was when we passed the first Na'vi. They rode past quickly on their direhorse.

"Are we close?" I asked.

"We re here," he said. I noticed more Na'vi passing and riding direhorse s but not enough to make up an entire clan. In the distance I could see a few Na'vi constucted tents but not enough to contain an entire clan.

"Where is everybody?" I asked.

"Underground."

"Underground?" My eyes widened as I looked down at the passing ground. "Where is the entrance?"

"Over there" He pointed with a long slim finger to a mountain covered in green flora and plants. It wasn't very large but it was bigger than a hill. So the Plains clan's home was similar to an ant hill. I was beginning to feel nervous. The safe feeling I felt when Gar'han was around was beginning to evaporate. I trusted him but I didn't trust this clan. Not yet at least and I didn't want to be left alone with them.

When we reached the foot of the mountain we climbed off of the direhorse. She trotted away immediately. Gar'han began to climb the mountain but I caught onto is harm.

"What?" he asked turning around to face me

"After you take me in there, I mean after you drop me off," I was trying not to sound too clingy," Are you going to leave?" I finally asked.

A slow smile spread across his face. It was the first time I'd ever seen him smile and of course it had to be a little smart ass smile. I was planning to leave in the morning," the annoying smile got bigger and he stood closer. "Did you want me to stay?"

I immediately grew defensive. "I couldn't care less," I lied and climbed ahead of him. I felt something pull me down by my tail.

"Hey! Don't touch my tail!" I spun around.

"If you want me to stay, just ask." Gar'han said, no longer smiling and back. So he wanted me to beg.

"Fine, stay." I shrugged as if it made no difference to me.

The arrogant smile returned and he began to climb with me up the mountain. At the very top we reached a large opening. Long, green, rope-like vines hung around the edge. I peeked down. It was pitch black and I didn't see anybody. I wondered how far down it went.

"Are you sure this is the right spot?" I asked. I saw no inhabitants.

"This is it." he answered surely. "Grab onto one of the vines and slide down."

My eyes widened. Oh no. I had no idea how far down it went.

"Just trust me," he said.

I rubbed the back of my neck, wavering, as I looked down the deep black hole. "You go first."

He shrugged, and with animal-like grace, leaped down, caught onto a vine and disappeared below. My turn. He had made it look so easy. Well he made everything look easy. I sure as hell wasn't going to jump and trust myself to catch one of the vines so I carefully stepped to the edge and lay down on my belly. Grabbing onto one of the vines with clenching fingers, I slowly lowered myself inch by inch. My fingers grew slick and soon, against my will, I was sliding down the vine. It must have been a long drop because it took much longer then I would have thought to reach the bottom. When I did, my butt connected solidly with the ground.

Ouch! I'd just finished healing that!

I peered around. It was still dark but my eyes were adjusting to the lighting of the hole.

"Gar'han?" I called.

I felt a familiar hand latch onto my arm. "This way," he instructed. I didn't know how his eyes had adjusted so quickly to the limited lighting, because all I could see were the small glowing blue things that were scattered over the walls. I'd seen the same things in Hometree. I wondered what they were.

My attention was quickly taken away from the blue glowing bags when I began to hear a quiet rhythm that grew louder as we walked. Soon I could hear singing too. I recalled Helen briefly telling me that singing was a strong part of the Na'vi's culture. Was that what I was hearing now?

We rounded a corner and my eyes widened as I stumbled to a stop.

There had to be at least a thousand Na'vi in this room. No. it couldn't be called a room. It was much too big. The ceiling had to be at least three stories high. 'The walls were covered in vines and brightly colored flora that I'd seen all over Pandora. Many of the Na'vi in the room were singing and dancing with the rhythm of drums. Natural shelves jutted from the walls, providing more space for the Na'vi of all ages that filled the room. Around the room there were a few firepits that were surrounded my Na'vi. Where Gar'han and I stood, there was a path that led straight to a stage like platform made of solid rock. And sitting upon the stage was a large seat. Wait no it wasn't a seat, it was a throne with a Na'vi sitting upon it.

The beating of the drums ceased and the room quieted down to a dull murmur. I glanced around and suddenly realized they were all staring at Gar'han and me. Gar'han walked along the path and up to the bottom of the stage, with me hesitantly trailing behind as golden eyes around me blinked. Many of the patterned blue faces around me had tribal tattoos and piercings just as Gar'han had said.

"I am Gar'han,warrior of my Clan and I seek an audience with the Tsahik of the Horse Clan of the Plains," Gar'han stated to a Na'vi male that stood at the bottom of the stage. Was he a body guard?

The man nodded and the music started up again. Gar'han ascended the stage steps and I followed behind. I glanced behind me, glad to see that we were no longer being stared at.

"Gar han it's been too long," the Na'vi said rising from her chair and kissing Gar'han on the cheek." And what to do we owe this occasion?"

Gar'han put his hand on the small of my back a nudged me from behind him. "Al mah has sent me to return your lost 'ite."

My shock at his words was nothing compared to the shock of seeing the Tsahik of the Plains Clan. The second I locked eyes with her, I was stunned. It wasn't the tribal tattoo that aligned the left side of her face or the piercing through her nose that made me at a loss for words. It was her almond eyes, her nose, her chin; her face

There had to be an explanation. Some simple scientific reason.

But in this moment of shock I couldn't think of any reason why the Tsahik of the Plains Clan would have the same face as me.

** Thanks for reading this far.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you all for the reviews. You guys are great! Don't forget that this is rated M. It may not seem like it yet but it will be.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar or Pandora. It's all Jim Cameron's.**

My eyes looked up widely at Gar'han as if he would have the answer but he was looking down at me intently like he was watching my reaction. I felt a finger lift up my chin and turned to see the Tsahik studying me, and I studied her face back.

It was weird looking at her. It was like looking at me, well an older me. She had to be at least twenty years older than me. I wasn't an exact copy of her; her lips were slightly fuller then mine, her eyes were a bit more hooded and her chin wasn't as pointed as mine. But she could most definitely pass as my...mother. But the shock of seeing her face was beginning to wear off and reasons for my uncanny resemblance to her were flying through my mind.

She could have been the DNA donor. The DNA had to come from somewhere right? But if she was my donor, we would have to be identical. Although our ages made us non identical it was still clear even if we weren't the same age that we would not be twins. Close, but not identical. Well, then she could be related to my DNA donor. The one thing I was positive of was that this woman, this matriarch, she was not my mother.

I didn't have a mother and I never would.

She circled around me, eyeing me up and down and I fidgeted nervously. She slowed to a stop in front of me and my eyes returned to Gar'han. He was still watching me. He was so helpful.

I heard a choking sound and turned my eyes back to see the Na'vi woman holding back a sob. Oh no. Without warning she threw her arms around me in an embrace.

"My 'eveng has returned to me." I heard her whisper into my hair. In her arms was the last place I wanted to be.

I felt conflicted. The strongest emotion I was feeling right now was oddly guilt. It was weird that I was feeling guilty because I had done nothing wrong. But still, I felt guilty. I wasn't her child; I was no body's child. Whoever her child was, I wasn't her. And to have her hugging me as though I was the greatest thing that had happened to her, it made me feel guilty. But strangely, some deep sick part of me, liked her hugging me like this. It liked having her call me her child. I tried to shake off the feeling.

She finally released me and placed a large kiss on each of my cheeks. I felt mean for wanting to wipe it off, but I wasn't her daughter and so that kiss didn't belong to me. She turned away from me and faced the Na'vi that filled the gigantic room.

"Children of Eywa!" Her voice boomed. The room of Na'vi instantly quieted and all eyes were on their matriarch. "Fifteen years, ago the demons came and stole what was rightfully ours. A _'ite_ and _tsmuke_ of The People. But today Eywa has given her back to us!" She placed a firm hand on my shoulder and urged me to her side. "My _'ite_ has returned!" At this, the room erupted into hoots and yells of cheer and the guilty seed in my stomach grew. She turned to Gar'han and took his hand in her own. "I give my thanks to you Gar'han for protecting my daughter."

He nodded his head respectfully.

"Miss, mam, I mean your highness, I'm not your-" I tried to say over the loud roar of the room but she grabbed my hand. She leaned in closer so I could hear her.

"Come child, there are so many questions I have and I'm sure you have even more," she said, then lead (no, dragged) me away from the stage and to another tunnel. I craned my neck in search of Gar'han but he had already joined the large crowd of Na'vi. I wasn't sure I wanted to be alone with this woman who thought I she was my mother, but it looked like I didn't have a choice.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked as she continued to lead me down the dimly lit tunnel. The sounds of the crowd were starting to fade away and the only sounds to be heard were our steady foot steps against the earth.

"Somewhere quiet," she said cryptically. She took a left down another tunnel, equally dim because it was only lit by the blue glowing bags lining the ceiling. Finally we reached a small room that seemed to be a natural alcove. The door wasn't really a door at all but long strings of beads. She pushed the beads away and stepped inside. I reluctantly followed.

Inside the alcove it was slightly brighter. It was about the size of my closet back home, not very big, and had the natural smell like Hometree. On the walls were a few random weapons and trinkets. On the wall in front of me was a bow, of course handcrafted. On another wall was a dagger, and also hand crafted. Both were carefully mounted.

The Queen was sitting on a woven pillow and she patted the pillow next her. "Please, sit down," she said, and I did.

"What is this place?" I asked, as I picked up a small beaded necklace that was hanging from the wall. It was pretty, with dark green beads and a long black feather as the center. I liked it.

"For me, it's a sanctuary," the queen said watching me play with the small necklace. "I come here when I feel overwhelmed, or if I need to be alone and speak to Eywa."

I looked up at here. She had the sincerest voice I'd ever heard. I looked down at the necklace in my hand. Why was I touching her stuff?

"I'm, I'm not your daughter," I said staring down at the pretty necklace in my hand, unable to meet her eyes. I felt like I was letting her down.

For a moment she was silent. I braced myself for the anger I was sure would come. "Do you like that necklace?" she asked, as though I had not said a word.

I sighed, slightly irritated because she had ignored me. "Yes, it's beautiful;" I said rubbing the soft feather between my fingers.

"It was yours as a baby," she whispered. My eyes snapped up to her almost pleadingly. Although my eyes pleaded her to stop, she continued. "Your father made it for me and when I gave birth to you, it was handed down." She placed her hand on my shoulder. "You were raised by humans," it was a statement but I still nodded. "What did they tell you about your heritage?"

I instantly became guarded. Was I supposed to tell her that I was constructed by Na'vi DNA? She would be disgusted and consider me just as revolting as she did humans.

"You can trust me," she said quietly, staring into my eyes.

"I-I know that I don't have a mother. Or a father for that matter." I don't know what made me say it. The sincerity of her voice or her trustworthy face, but whatever it was made me feel as though I could tell her anything.

"Everyone is born with parents," the female Na'vi said, not understanding.

"I wasn't born, I was created," I said. Even to my own ears, my voice sounded slightly bitter.

She remained bewildered by my words.

"You would be surprised what human technologies can do." I muttered. I wondered if I was being too cryptic or if she had a clue of what I was talking about. The Na'vi knew very little about human technologies so I couldn't expect her to understand.

I looked up to see her glaring at the wall behind me. "They lied to you."

Instantly I looked away from her. I didn't want to hear this.

"Listen," she said and my eyes locked on hers. "I don't expect for you to think of me as your _sa'nok_." her eyes grew sad as she said that part but she continued. "I know you don't remember me. I just want you to hear my words." I nodded reluctantly, feeling sorry for her. "For fifteen years I waited for this day to come, I wasn't sure what I would say, how I would explain. Because of those demons my own daughter is a stranger to me," she whispered.

"You're saying the humans took your daughter?" I asked leaning in.

"Yes they took you when you were only 2 years old. I don't know why, but they took you," she said. What reasons would the RDA have for taking a Na'vi infant?

"But how do you know I'm your daughter?" I asked. Of course there was our uncanny resemblance but that could just be random.

She smiled but it was a sad smile. "You have your father's eyes."

I couldn't stay here in this place. I couldn't stay here and have her thinking I was her long lost daughter returned. It made me feel... deceitful? I stood up. "I'm sorry but I can't stay," I said.

"But where would you go?" she asked, alarmed and also stood up.

That was a good question. Again the problem of me not being able to survive out there in the jungle alone arose.

"I'll make you a deal," she said suddenly ignoring my silence. "You stay here, with me at least three months. We will teach you all the skills you need to know to survive. If by the end of the last month, you still don't believe you're my daughter, you can leave," she said quickly.

I thought about it. Technically the plan was flawless. Sometime during this grandly ridiculous adventure, I'd given up on the thought of Ray rescuing me. By the end of the three months, I could go find base on my own. But then there was extra baggage involved.

This woman thought I was her daughter. Having me stay would only get her hopes up. And then she would have to see me leave. It made me feel sick inside. But then an idea popped into my head. What if I used the three months not only to learn survival skills, but also to convince her I wasn't her daughter? I looked up and the begging look in her eyes made my decision. "Ok, three months then I will make my decision." She looked elated and I felt even guiltier. "But you have to stop calling me your daughter," I said.

She nodded her head. She took the necklace that was still in my hands and leaned in. I thought she was going to hug me again so I immediately tensed but instead she tied the necklace around my neck. "If I am not to call you my daughter, what do I call you?" she asked.

"Jessy will be fine," I said.

"Okay, you can call me Tali," she said. Tali was a pretty name. She took my hand unexpectedly and led me out of the room. "Come we must celebrate!"

We returned to the huge Hall full of dancing, laughing, chatting Na'vi. She led me through the crowd and introduced me to a young Na'vi around my age, with a piercing going through her nose.

"This is Fara, Fara this is Jessy." Tali introduced us.

"Hi" I said.

"_Kaltxì_," she said in greeting. She gave me a huge grin and she instantly reminded me of Anya.

"Fara will you settle Jessy in and help her become accustomed to our traditions and cultures? She has been separated from The People a long time now," Tali asked.

Fara nodded her head respectfully. " It would be my honor, Tsahik."

" Thank you Fara, may Eywa bless you. I have other things I must do now but you two enjoy yourselves." She smiled then looked at me. "I will see you tomorrow Jessy." She leaned in to place a kiss on my cheek then disappeared into the crowd.

I turned to Fara to see her with a strange expression on her face. Other Na'vi around us were watching us. "What?" I asked.

She shook her head as if she was embarrassed. "Oh nothing it's just, well it's just, no one expected you to ever come back. It's weird seeing the long lost daughter of Tsahik returned." I hoped she wasn't going to keep calling me a Princess. "Let's sit down," she said and grabbed my hand and led me to some pillows where some other Na'vi were sitting and chatting around a firepit. She sat down with a thump and I sat down, folding my legs under me. She picked a gourd of some type of drink and took a gulp. "Well I guess this changes everything," she said thoughtfully.

"What do you mean?" I asked as she passed the gourd to me for a drink. I didn't.

"Well Tsahἱk Tali never gave up hope that you would come back but still it's her duty to make sure there was a heir for the throne. But you were the only child she had before the Olo'eyktan died." I listened interestedly as she took the gourd from my hands and took another swig. " So she chose Ja'ki."

"Oh, he's so scary!" A female Na'vi said from behind me. I didn't know we had an audience.

"No! I think he's handsome!" Another said.

"I'm twice the warrior he is," A male Na'vi said bitterly, who passing around a wooden pipe.

"Ha! Kako, you couldn't even fight off a Nantang!" Another male barked out with laughter.

"I was a child when that happened."

I turned my attention back to Fara. "Who is Jacky?"

"No not Jacky, Ja'ki." A female said next to me with the wooden pipe in her hand and smoke coming from her mouth.

"Who is he?" I repeated. Jacky, Ja'ki. Whatever.

"Our clan's greatest warrior," Fara replied.

"I heard he once fought an Angtsìk with his bare hands," the female with pipe said then erupted into a laugh that sounded like a cackle. Just what was inside of that pipe?

"I suppose since your back, you will be first in line now if anything happens to our Tsahἱk," Fara continued, again becoming thoughtful. She reached over me and took the pipe from the Na'vi that was sitting beside me. She inhaled deeply through the pipe then released a line of smoke through her mouth.

"No, that's wrong," a male Na'vi. "They will become life mates, if Eywa wills it." Whoa. I wasn't becoming life mates with nobody.

Suddenly Gar'han popped into my head. "Have you seen my friend?"

"The one you came in with?" Fara asked, as she took another deep swig from the wooden pipe.

"Yes," I said.

"Now, he is handsome," The female next to me said then cackled again. I decidedly didn't like her.

"Have you seen him?" I repeated.

"No, but I'm sure he's around here somewhere. Would you like some?" Fara asked, offering me the pipe.

"What is it?" I asked as I took the pipe from her hands and examined it. It had a strange smell. Not nasty, just strange.

"Just try it. It's harmless." she said.

I shrugged. Ray had dared me to eat dirt before and I did. This couldn't be much worse. Bringing the tip of the pipe to my mouth, I inhaled through the tiny hole. I instantly exploded into a fit of coughs and the Na'vi around me erupted into laughter. It left a dark smoky taste in my mouth and I blew out a ring of smoke. Wow. I took another inhale, this time without the coughs and blew out the smoke.

"You like it?" Fara asked.

I grinned and took one more puff before passing it to her as I blew smoke from my mouth. "It's nice..." I said as I felt a funny feeling in my head. It was very nice...

An hour and fifteen puffs later I was in complete bliss. About a dozen Na'vi, including Fara and I had formed a sitting circle. Everyone in the circle had some form of an instrument. Fara had some flute looking thing that for some odd reason I thought was hilarious and couldn't stop laughing every time I looked at it. I, having no musical background, had settled on a small drum the male Na'vi next to me had given me. With all the Na'vi playing their instruments and a few singing, it sounded beautiful. I remembered Helen telling me singing was a large part of the Na'vi culture but I never imagined it would sound this good.

I glanced at the flute Fara was playing and burst out laughing again. She erupted into laughter also. That flute thing was hilarious! Feeling dizzy, I threw my head back and collapsed against the cushiony pillows closing my eyes in the odd happiness I was feeling. When I opened my eyes again a tall male was standing over me.

"Ray?" I thought.

"Who's Ray?" Fara asked. Oh, well I guess I'd said it out loud. I sat up feeling dizzy.

"Whoa," I muttered rubbing my head then looked behind me to see Gar'han who had his arms crossed. "Gar'han! Have a seat!" I exclaimed. "Listen to these guys! They should be in a-" What was the Na'vi term for a band? While I was deep in thought contemplating the complexity of English versus the Na'vi language my eyes settled on the flute in Fara's hand and I erupted into laughter again.

"How much Yukah has she had?" Gar'han asked Fara as he took a seat beside me.

Fara turned her eyes, which were slightly glossy, to me and rubbed her chin. "About the same as me. It must be her first time."

"Yukah?" I exclaimed suddenly getting what they were saying. "This stuff?" I asked holding up the wooden pipe. "Oh, Gar'han! It's great, you should try it!" As soon as the words were out of my mouth I took another puff. Gar'han, being a party-pooper, snatched it out of my hands and passed it to Fara.

"I think you've had enough," he said, eyeing me warily. I blew a ring of smoke in his face and grinned. He glared. I took my eyes off of his glaring face and landed on a huge male Na'vi. He had to be the largest Na'vi I'd ever seen. It wasn't so much that he was tall, although he was; it was just that he was huge. Most Na'vi were built tall and lean. Even the male, although muscled, were thin. This Na'vi was an exception. It wasn't that he was fat, quite the contrary, he had the biggest muscles I'd ever seen. It looked like he could crush a man's skull like a peanut.

"Who's that?" I asked to no one in particular.

"Who?" Fara asked on the other side of Gar'han. Gar'han followed my gaze to the huge man.

"That is the future Olo'eyktan," Gar'han answered for me.

"Jacky?" I asked my eyes getting bigger. He was scary looking. The Tsahἱk stepped to his side and began to speak to him. Immediately his eyes locked on me. What were they talking about? I couldn't help but to burst into high pitch giggles. That was Jacky! I'm not sure why I found it so funny, but I did.

"No, not Jacky, Ja'ki," someone said but I was to out of it to care who'd said it. I lied back on the ground giggling to myself for no reason and closed my eyes.

"She should probably go to sleep," Fara said her voice full of amusement.

"I'll take her," Gar'han said and then I felt him lifting me up. I opened my eyes.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"You're going to bed," Gar'han said as he hauled me towards a tunnel. I was feeling dizzy and if it weren't for Gar'han supporting half my weight I probably would have toppled over. I leaned my head against his shoulder as he practically carried me.

The last thing I remember saying was "You smell good," Before I passed out.

* * *

When I woke up my head was pounding.

I sat up slowly trying to ward off the dizzy feeling that instantly came. Where was I? I was lying in a net like bed that looked just like the one I'd slept in at Hometree. I gazed around me at my unfamiliar settings. Was I in Hometree?

"Your awake!" a voice yelped excitedly in my ear, hurting my head. I blinked up into the excited eyes of Fara and instantly I remembered last night. Being reunited with my _mother_, meeting Fara, and sitting in the music circle. Oh and the Yukah. And to think Fara had referred to it as harmless. Harmless my ass. It felt like the energizer bunny was beating my head with its drumsticks.

"Ugh, I don't feel so good," I groaned.

"It will go away. Here drink this," she said handing me a gourd of liquid.

I eyed it warily. "And I suppose this is also, harmless?" I asked skeptically eyeing the dark liquid in my hands.

"I did not know you had never had Yukah before. Drink it, I promise it will make you feel better," she promised. So I reluctantly took a deep swig, handed it back to her and then stretched my muscles.

"So what are the plans for today?" I asked climbing out of the net.

"I'm so glad you asked! Today the Tsahἱk wants you to learn how to ride a direhorse! And you will never believe who she chose to teach you!" she exclaimed climbing from net to net with me following, less gracefully.

"Who?" I asked, just a bit warily.

" Ja'ki!"

"Oh no." I thought, my stomach twisting to add to my pains. Jacky, as in the giant that looked like he ate humans for breakfast?

"Oh yes! My Eywa, you are so lucky! What I would give to have him teach me..." She sighed dreamily as she hopped into a tunnel. Was she crazy? She wanted the big scary Goliath to teach her? I'm all for the whole "Don't judge a book by its cover" thing but honestly the guy was scary.

"But why would she choose him?" I asked bewildered and a bit scared.

Fara slowed her pace so I could catch up. "Why not? Ja'ki is the best warrior in our clan and who better to teach the futre Tsahik-" I rolled my eyes at this part," then him. And because he is more likely than not going to end up your life mate, the Tsahἱk probably wants you to become friends with him." Fara obviously didn't understand that my stay was temporary.

"Why can't Gar'han teach me?" I asked, my voice taking on a whiny edge. Suddenly I began to hear the soft bubbling of water and the temperature around us had risen considerably.

"You're going to the springs to take a bath and I'm going to go prepare with the other Na'vi for a hunt. Come find me when you're finished so I can take you to Ja'ki," she said then handed me some clothes and something else.

"What's this?" I asked, looking down at the round light-brown bar in my hand.

"Soap. Keep straight until you reach the hot springs. Come get me when you're finished," She said then pauses as if on second thought. "Oh and be careful where you walk, the water isn't too deep but the rocks are a bit slippery. Trust me, I would know."

"What if someone walks in while I'm bathing?"

She rolled her eyes as if I was a child. "If you're the shy type then bathe with your clothes on." With that, she turned and slipped away.

Oh I most definitely would be bathing with my clothes on, I thought as I walked in the direction she had pointed me in.

**End of Chapter 4.**

**Please leave me a review and let me know what you think. I'll get chapter 5 out as soon as I can but I have finals coming up that require much studying :/**

**Thanks for reading this far.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for all the reviews, I really appreciate the feedback. And sorry but Ja'ki is not gay :(**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar.**

I managed to only slip twice before I finished bathing. The hot springs, just like everything else in Pandora, was beautiful and bio-luminescent. Not to mention it was nice and warm. I slipped out of the bubbling hot spring and changed as quickly as possible out of my wet clothes and into the leggings and loincloth that went with a chest peice Fara had given me.

What was I supposed to do with my old clothes, I thought as I glanced around. I spotted a basket to the side with some other articles of clothing and tossed mine inside.

After that, I headed out in search of Fara. Where did she say she would be? Something about hunting...I realized I had no clue where to find Fara. What if I didn't find her? Oh sorry Fara I was really looking forward to the riding lessons with Ja'ki but I searched everywhere for you and couldn't find you. Now I would have an excuse for not attending the riding lessons. A smirk formed on my face as I left the tunnel for a mediocre search for Fara. After a few minutes of wondering around in the tunnels that all looked the same I was just about to call it quits when I stumbled into Gar'han.

"Gar'han!" I exclaimed. I'm not sure why I was so glad to see him; he certainly seemed indifferent about seeing me. He was walking in the direction I'd come from and since he probably knew where he was going I decided to follow him "You'll never believe who the Tsahik is making me take direhorse lessons with!"

"Ja'ki" he stated matter-of-factly. He was no fun.

"Oh Well yeah." I muttered. "But I'm not going."

"Why?" He didn't sound too interested.

I smiled to myself. "I can't find Fara. I've looked everywhere for her." Honestly it did feel like I'd looked everywhere, even though I'd only spent about three minutes looking for her.

"Why are you smiling?"

"I'm not smiling." I said straightening my face. "Where are you headed?" I asked curiously.

"I'm going to join the hunting party," he answered. I then noticed the bow and quiver slung around his shoulders. Wait, the hunting party?

I stopped walking and he slowed, too. "What is it?" he asked glancing around curiously.

"Um, nothing, I've got something I need to go do," I lied. If I followed him to the hunting party then I would see Fara. Then she would take me to Ja'ki the scary bohemeth. No thanks.

"What do you have to do?" he asked as if I'd said the most ridiculous thing. But it was a good question.

"Um...

He shook his head, like I was a silly child. "Follow me, and I'll take you to Fara," he said, then turned his back and continued walking. I pouted and followed.

He lead me through a few more tunnels and then through a large opening that gave way to sunlight. When we emerged I took in my surroundings. We were at the base of the mountain, so I guessed that there were multiple exits, not only the large one Gar'han and I had came through yesterday. Why couldn't they just live in a Hometree like a normal clan?

"Jessy!" Fara called from a group of Na'vi preparing for the hunt. She jogged gracefully to my side as Gar'han left me to join the hunting party.

"It sure took you long enough." Not long enough if you asked me. "Let's get you to Ja'ki," she said as she slung her bow over her back. Peeling her lips back, revealing her sharp canines, she let out a high pitch call. Within moments the sounds of hooves approached steadily and a direhorse emerged from the woods and headed straight to Fara. All in one motion, Fara hopped with the agility of a panther, onto the great beast's back and held out a hand for me. I joined her on the back of the horse and soon we were trotting off on the hexapodal animal. Fara directed the direhorse towards the jungle and the horse complied, leaping easily past trees and over Pandora's rugged terrain. We reached a clearing where about a dozen Na'vi were gathered. They were all practicing using different projectile weapons. One of them I easily recognized as Ja'ki.

When we approached the group, Fara glided off the direhorse and I scrambled off and stayed behind her.

"Fara! _Ngaru lu fpom srak_?" Ja'ki grinned, revealing his vicious looking canines and pulled Fara in for a hug. Funny how his teeth looked so much more dangerous than Fara's. I gulped. Now that I was close to him I could notice his features. His face was harsh looking, as if it was made of hard cut lines but it didn't make him unattractive and I was pretty sure that his eyes were at least a few shades darker than the average Na'vi. Through his nose was a piercing that made him resemble a bull ready to charge. In one hand he held a large weapon that looked like a sword that had been curled. I dark liquid dripped ominously from its tip. Oh my god, was that blood?

"Fine Ja'ki, I've brought our little princess," Fara said pulling me from my hiding spot behind her. Why did she have to call me a princess? I really needed to talk to her about that. His dark eyes shifted to me.

"Um, hi." I said uncomfortably. I needed to stop saying um and uh so much. Those weren't words that the Na'vi used.

"Hmm... he studied me thoughtfully eyeing me up and down making my cheeks heat up. "You re a bit scrawnier then I thought," He said lifting one of my noodle arms and pinching it lightly, " But we will put some muscle on you."

I blushed in embarrassment. Did he really just call me scrawny? Helen made me exercise every day. I may not have muscles the size of watermelons like he did, but I was definitely fit.

"I'm not scrawny, I just don't have a meat head like you," I said snatching my arm away.

He threw his head back and barked out a laugh. Suddenly, even though he was laughing at me, he seemed less intimidating. Fara giggled also.

"Sorry Ja'ki, but I have a hunting party waiting for me." She leaped easily back onto the direhorse. "Good luck on your lessons, Jessy." And with that she trotted on her direhorse back in the direction she'd come... leaving me with the muscle head.

A loud whistle rang through my ears followed by the steady trotting of horse hooves. I turned around to see a large direhorse headed for Ja'ki. He swiftly jumped onto the back and intertwined his braid then held out a hand for me.

"Where are we going?" I asked as I hoisted myself up behind him.

"First we have to find a direhorse for you to ride," he said then took off into the woods. After a few minutes we reached a grassy land and the dire horse slowed to a quick trot then a stop. A few yards away from us was a herd of untamed direhorses.

Ja'ki climbed down from the direhorse and I followed. I stumbled into a large rock and banged my foot. "Ouch!" I yelped. A few of the direhorses perked up looking around for danger.

"Shh!" Ja'ki hissed looking back at me. "_Pa'li_ are easily startled so we must be very quiet.

I nodded. Quietly as possible, I followed Ja'ki. For such a huge man he was surprisingly light on his feet and didn't make a single sound. He led me to the nearest one. It glanced at us uninterestedly and continued to use its long snout to suck out the sap from a plant. Its tongue was extremely long and emerged out of the long snout to dip into the plant. It was kind of gross looking.

"Touch it," Ja'ki instructed in a low whisper.

I looked at the large beast. It had no fur, just thick leathery skin. I slowly placed my hand on its side. Still the direhorse seemed indifferent to my presence.

"Now let it get used to having you touch it."

I nodded and ran my hand along its long neck for a few seconds.

"Now climb onto it. Quickly," he instructed.

As fast as someone as clumsy as me could, I hopped onto its back. Finally the direhorse seemed to notice my presence and skittered around but he slowly calmed then went back to feeding on the flora.

"What do I do now?" I asked. I was kind of proud that I'd actually made it this far. If I could, I would take a picture of myself right now and send it to Ray and Helen.

"Now you must connect with her through _tsahaylu_," he said slowly grabbing one of the two neural whips that stuck out on either side of the beast's head and placing it into my palm.

I looked at the feathery tendrils that moved inside of the antennae that he'd placed in my hand. Oh no. I couldn't do this! It was just too disgusting looking. The way the nasty little tendrils moved made them look like they were worms or something. If I connected myself with this, it would be like making out with a dog. This was gross. Would I feel its nasty tendril's grab onto my own neural queue? No, no, no. That would be just disgusting.

"Ugggh" I cried, my voice raising several pitches.

"What is it?" Ja'ki asked alarmed.

"I'm sorry I can't do this, it s just so... I glanced down at the thing in my hand and the feathery tendrils swayed," Eww...I can't do this. I'm sorry. I'm getting down," I said, frantically dropping the antennae and beginning to climb off.

"No, you're not," he said grabbing my leg and hoisting it back onto the direhorse. "You didn't even try." Without my permission, he grabbed onto my long queue and placed it into me hand then the antennae in my other. I tried climbing off but he stopped me. "Do it." Jeez, he was pushy.

I pouted. I really didn't feel comfortable with this. "What does it feel like?" I asked, still indecisive.

"It doesn't hurt at all," he said.

I hesitantly brought the end of my queue to the antennae and as if they had a mind of their own, the horse's antennae intertwined with my neural queue. My disgust morphed into amazement. I suddenly felt as though I was connected to the horse. I mean, not just physically. It was like his movement was mine.

However the direhorse, was not nearly as pleased as I was, he bucked wildly like a bull and trotted in circles, snorting wildly.

"What do I do?" I hollered in panic. But soon my thighs lost their grip on the horse and I fell onto the ground with a hard thump. Landing on my butt of course. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately. The horse trotted away, to a group of plants a few yards away.

Ja'ki broke out into booming laughter. Ok, it wasn't that funny. "What did I tell you!" he said, once he could finally catch his breath. "You are too weak! Too scrawny!" he said. "It takes power to command a direhorse, power that you clearly do not have."

"Hey! I'm in shape!" I retorted.

"But you are not strong, here," he countered tapping his own head. He gave me a hand to help me stand up and I took it reluctantly. "Let's try again."

So the rest of the afternoon continued like that. I would climb onto the direhorse, intertwine, fall, Ja'ki laughs, repeat. I would have thought his patience would wear thin but he seemed to find it funnier and funnier every time. I was improving slightly, once I'd actually lasted two-minutes on the direhorse back before falling off but still, like Ja'ki said, I wasn't strong enough.

After about the twenty-fifth time I'd fallen on my ass Ja'ki said, "I think that's enough for today." And I was relieved. Even if his patience wasn't running out, mine was.

"Let's head back," he said, than climbed onto his own direhorse with me behind him.

When we returned to...Home Hill? Fara's hunting party was also returning.

"How were your lessons?" Fara asked as I clambered off Ja'ki's direhorse.

"Ok," I shrugged indifferently.

Fara looked up at Ja'ki for the real answer. "How was she, she asked.

Ja ki grinned, "Entertaining." I scowled and turned away from them as he began his elaborate story about my great misadventure today. My eyes spotted Gar'han who was holding some type of dead animal over his back. Not wanting to hear anymore from Ja'ki about how many times I'd landed on my ass, I walked over to him.

He nodded to me in greeting but continued walking. I glanced back at Ja ki and Fara and then decided to follow Gar han.

"What's that on your back?" I asked.

"Dinner." he responded not slowing his pace. I wrinkled my nose. Eww...

"So, are you going to cook it?" I asked watching a trail of blood fall down the dead animal's snout, in disgust.

"No I'm going to skin it." Oh gross. I didn't want to watch that. "You should come watch me, you might learn something."

No, thanks. "Actually I have something else I need to do."

"What?"

"I said I have something else I need to do," I repeated, ready to bolt.

"No. I mean what is it you have to do?"

I frowned. "Ok, I ll watch." Why was I such a pushover? I followed Gar'han to a spot where other dead animals were hanging from a tree and a few other Na'vi were skinning animals. It was like an outdoor butcher shop! Gar'han took the dead animal (I was beginning to think it may have once been a viperwolf) and tied it by its hind feet to a low branch.

"Can you pass me that knife?" he asked as he finished tying the knot. I handed him a knife that was sitting on a basket and he flipped it deftly in his hand so the blade was facing the animal. Piercing the knife into its gut, he dragged it down making a line. Immediately blood spilled out of the dead creature. I gagged and immediately averted my eyes, trying to ignore the nasty sounds that were coming from Gar'han's blade.

My eyes landed on Gar'han face. He, of course had on his serious expression as he concentrated on his task. I thought back to when that female Na'vi had said he was handsome. I'd never really considered the male Na'vi attractive. I didn't find them unattractive or anything, I'd just never thought about it. Only a week ago, I'd considered all Na'vi to look the same but now that I'd been living in close vicinity with them, I could begin to distinguish them as individuals with separate facial features... I suppose he was handsome. Until now, I'd never taken into account what Gar'han looked like. Unlike most of the Na'vi, his hair wasn't shaved into a Mohawk but was all tied into one braid down his back with a few braids going through it. His line-less face indicated youth but the serious expression he constantly wore said otherwise. How old was he any way's?

"Why are you looking at my face and not my hands, you're supposed to be learning," he said, not taking his eyes off the dead creature.

I blushed. "Because that's disgusting and I have a weak stomach," I answered honestly.

"Well I'm finished now," he said as he untied the disgustingly mutilated animal. "Can you hold this?" he asked holding the end of the rope to me. Was he joking?

"No," I said. I didn t mean to be a brat; I just didn't want that butchered carcass near me.

"Just hold it, He said exasperatedly pushing it into my hand. Yuck! But I held onto the rope, far away from my body as if it were toxic. He leaned past me and picked up a rag to wipe off his hands. I tried my best not to look at the thing I was holding but I accidental glanced. It was completely unrecognizable! I quickly averted my eyes. Gar'han reached up and grabbed a rope hooked through a few more skinned creatures and told me to follow him. He took me to a group of female Na'vi who were all gathered around various cooking pots and huge fire pits. He passed over the mutilated animals and I did too, not wanting to have to carry the nasty thing any longer.

"So what now?" I asked as I continued to follow him. Did it bother him that I was always following him? Probably.

"I'm going to go bathe. Or are you going to follow me there, too?" he asked raising an eyebrow as he continued to walk.

"No!" I said quickly coming to a stop as he continued on his path to the hot springs.

"Jessy! Fara's voice called. I turned around to see Fara approaching me, flanked by a few other women.

"Hi, Fara." I greeted.

Are you busy?" she asked.

"No, not really."

"Good!" she said grabbing my hand and pulling me towards Homehill (I'd decided that would be its name for now). We reached one of the entrances then slipped inside, finding ourselves in a dimly lit tunnel. Fara continued to guide me through tunnels until we reached a room. She pulled me inside to find a few Na'vi inside the room, all females. They were all doing various kinds of crafts. Sewing, beading, doing each other's hair. They smiled at me and I nodded back.

Fara lead me to a blanket and flopped down. I folded myself down beside her and instantly I felt fingers probing my hair.

"Do you think this bead would look pretty?" One of the girls from Fara's entourage asked holding up a golden bead to Fara.

"Ooh, yes that's very beautiful," she answered as she took a strand of my hair and began to twist it. They were going to braid my hair?

"Why are you braiding my hair?" I asked. I liked my hair the way it was. Although I couldn't quite remember the last time I'd combed it, I remembered Anya and Janii putting a few trinkets in it. Those had probably falling out by now though.

"I can't allow you to walk around with your hair just sitting there. If you re going to be the Princess of a Na'vi clan you must look like one." I wished she wouldn't call me a princess. "Besides, we aren't braiding your entire head, just a few strands."

Being the pushover I was, I allowed them to play with my hair. As they tied little things into my hair and braided strands they asked me random questions.

"What is that pink stuff on my finger nails and toes," they asked. I looked down at my fingernails to see two-week old nail polish beginning to chip off. It was funny to look at them. I'd painted them back on base, back at home. I remembered Helen suggesting that I wear purple but I'd chosen pink, thinking Ray would like it better. It was like looking at a fragment of the past, only I'd been away from home only a week and a few days. It felt like I'd been away for a month. Was I slipping away from reality that fast?

"Well, what is it?" Fara asked looking at my expression curiously.

I snapped out of my thoughts." It's um," What was the word for nail polish? "It s fingernail paint. Where I come from the girls wear it on their nails. It comes in all colors. They wear fingernail paint the way you guys wear tattoos and piercings." I tried to explain.

"Why don't you have any tattoos or rings?" One asked.

Because Helen forbade me to ever think about getting a tattoo. Not to mention they didn't have a tattoo parlor back on base. "I wasn't allowed to."

"Why not?"

"Because humans are crazy devils, that's why." Another answered for me and the girls broke into giggles. I frowned.

"Which color beads do you like better?" Fara asked holding up two beads and I chose the prettier one.

They continued to braid my hair and I continued to think about life back on base compared to life with the Na'vi. It felt like they were two completely different worlds. If too much time was spent on one, then the other was easily forgotten.

"Finished!" Fara exclaimed suddenly. She stood up and held out a hand for me. I took it and she lead me to a large barrel of water. I looked down at me reflection and I almost didn't recognize myself.

A few braids were looped through my long wavy strands and beads adorned the ends. I looked at Fara's reflection through the water. I looked like her; I mean I looked like a Native. I could so easily pass as a native right now. If a human saw me they would immediately think savage native. What would Helen think? She would probably say I looked beautiful. But what would Ray say?

"I look like you guys," I whispered. Then I turned away from the barrel and put a smile on my face. "Thank you, it's beautiful."

The girls were visibly pleased that I'd liked my new hairstyle and I was happy to please them.

That evening Fara and I joined Tali to eat super.

Fara and I greeted Tali politely then took a seat down next to her in the large circle of Na'vi. Tali passed us both wooden bowls as women walked around carrying large kettles and serving supper.

"So how were your lessons with Ja'ki?" Tali asked, sipping her bowl.

At that precise moment Ja'ki decided to come join the circle and plop down next to me.

"They were productive," I mumbled looking down at my bowl of what looked like chunky soup. My stomach twisted and reminded me of the poor critter Gar'han had skinned earlier today. Was that what was swimming around in this bowl?

"What was productive?" Ja'ki asked, taking a bowl and then proceeding to gobble down its contents. I thought he just might eat the bowl.

"Jessy's riding lessons." Tali answered for me while I was engrossed in the chopped animal in my bowl. I hated my stomach for being so squeamish. As I debated over whether a viperwolf or a banshee was swimming in the food bowl in my hands Gar'han came and took a seat next to me.

"Are you ok?" Gar'han asked, looking at my face with a hint of worry that quickly disappeared when he noticed I was awed by his show of concern. "It s just you look a little pale," he muttered.

Looking at the bowl and thinking about the dead animal Gar'han had skinned earlier was not settling well with my stomach, so I wouldn't be surprised if I looked a little pale.

"Productive?" Ja ki suddenly exclaimed, almost choking on his bowl. He burst into laughter. Instantly I could feel the paleness leaving my face, replace with the red heat of embarrassment. I hoped he was finished but I knew he wasn't. Fara had also joined in with his laughter. I shot her a betrayed look.

"Oh really! I was not that bad," I said defensively turning to look at Tali with widened eyes. This only sent Ja'ki into another fit of laughter.

Ja'ki tried to hold his breath to get a sentence out. "She landed-" He broke into laughter and again tried to maintain himself enough to get the sentence out. "She landed on her butt twenty-six times!" He said in a high pitch voice that I didn't think could come from him, before he burst into laughter once again. I probably have a butt bruise for the next two weeks thanks to that stupid horse.

"I counted twenty-five!" I inserted, but quickly realized I'd shot myself in the foot as Tali suddenly joined in on the laughter and so did a few other Na'vi.

But then, because the fact that everyone was laughing at me didn't matter, a giggle escaped my lips and I joined the laughter.

Tali patted my knee comfortingly. "But don't feel bad, you'll get it eventually."

The rest of dinner we spent laughing and recounting the events of the day. Although most of the jokes were made at my expense it was ok because everyone was too busy laughing to notice I hadn't touched my food. Well everyone was laughing except Gar'han.

But Gar'han never laughed, let alone smiled.

Later on after every one had eaten and gone to sleep, I lay awake in my hammock. I just couldn't go to sleep. The light heartedness of diner had worn off and I lay staring up at the glowing blue bags above me unblinkingly. I turned on my side, tired of looking at the ceiling and ended up facing Gar'han in the hammock next to me. He had long since fallen asleep. In his sleep he didn't carry his permanent frown and it made him look years younger. Again I wondered his age.

I sighed, wishing I could sleep with such ease. I just couldn't figure out what was keeping me awake. There was something bugging me but I couldn't decide just what it was. I closed my eyes, deciding that it would help me fall asleep. It did and I was soon drifted off to sleep.

I was awoken by a loud gunshot. My eyes flew open. What the hell? I wasn't in my bed anymore. In fact I wasn't even in Homehill. I knew I was somewhere in Pandora because the bioluminescent plants around me were bouncing with life. I was somewhere in the forest.

"Jessy!" Ray's voice called. Oh my god Ray?

"Ray!" I called back bewildered and stood up. Suddenly I heard another gunshot and I jumped.

"Jessy! Where are you at!" His voice called again.

Without thinking I ran in the direction of his voice, the ground under my footsteps lighting up. Suddenly I tripped over something and landed on my hands and knees. I turned around and my eyes widened...or someone. On the ground was a lone male Na'vi. I gasped as I noticed the large bullet wound in the Na'vi's side. Slowly I crawled around the body to see the face then shrieked. It was Gar'han! But then the face morphed into Fara's, then Tali, then Ja'ki's! It continued to morph into the all the Na'vi that I briefly met. Anya! Janii! Al mah!

"Jessy," I looked up to see Ray standing over me. Why wasn't he wearing a mask? "It s ok Jessy," he whispered. I stood up shakily and he pulled me into a hug. Somehow, right now, Ray was taller than me. A small part of my brain knew this wasn't normal but the larger part ignored it. "Its ok," he whispered his voice taking on a strange edge. Suddenly something in his embrace changed. His arms turned into vices around me, now straining and constricting.

"What are you doing?" I gasped.

"She's over here!" he called. I tried to pry myself from his grip but his hold was like iron.

Suddenly a dozen humans sitting in AMP suits burst through the trees... all with guns pointed directly at me.

"Ray! What are you doing?" I cried.

The last words I heard him hiss were Disgusting savage," before everything was drowned out by the steady firing of machine guns.

* * *

"Jessy! Jessy!" Fara's voice called. I felt someone shaking my shoulders. "Jessy wake up!"

"Ugh," I groaned as I woke up suddenly from my terrifying nightmare. Ray's words still rang in my ears. "I'm awake, I'm awake," I grumbled, sitting up.

"Wow, you really were OUT of It." She laughed climbing out of my hammock.

I stretched groggily. She tossed clothing and a bar of soap onto my lap.

"Do you remember your way to the hot springs?" I nodded. "Good, after you bathe come get me so I can take you to Ja'ki. I'll be in the sewing room," she said then hopped like a lemur over a few hammocks then into a tunnel.

For a moment I sat there staring blankly at nothing. My dream ran through my mind. The nightmare had been ridiculously irrational. Humans weren't here to kill the Na'vi, they were here for unobtanium. But I had a question I needed to ask myself. Did I care if a human thought I was a savage? I shouldn't. Being a native was nothing to be ashamed of. . But still an insecure part of me worried about what Ray would think. Finally after some thinking I came to a decision; anyone who thought bad of them could go to hell. I rose to go to the hot springs.

On my way through the tunnels I ran into Gar'han but this time it looked like he had been looking for me.

"Hey," I greeted, still a bit distracted by my thoughts. He nodded in greeting.

"After your lessons with Ja'ki come find me so I can teach you more about using a _tsko swizaw_." _Bow an arrow lessons._

"Ok, that'd be great!" I said meaning it.

"Where are you going?" he asked, nosily.

A smirk formed on my face.

"Why are you smiling?"

"I'm going to go bathe. Or are you going to follow me there, too?" I asked, raising my eyebrow just the way he had done yesterday. I walked off leaving an open mouthed Gar'han behind me.

**Next chapter; more action, more romance, more of Jessy landing on her butt.**

**Please leave me a review to let me know what you think. Thanks for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you for all the reviews guys!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar.**

"You weren't even aiming!" Gar'han exclaimed looking at me, exasperated.

"Yes, I was!"

"No you weren't, you were looking at me," he replied, clearly annoyed with me.

My cheeks heated up; he was right. I couldn't help but notice a bead of sweat that had slipped from his forehead and making a line down his patterned face. It seemed that ever since I'd noticed that he was attractive, I'd continued to notice minor details about him. Not that I had been admiring him just now. I was just, um easily distracted. So I was caught off guard when Gar'han had suddenly said "Shoot!" It was no surprise when the arrow landed a few feet away.

"You had something on your face," I said defensively, but didn't mention that it was just a bead of sweat. But it's gone now." I said quickly.

He sighed, rubbing his forehead. I think he did this when he was frustrated. "Jessy," his voice came out bitingly so he cleared his throat and tried for a more gentle tone. "Jessy," he repeated in a softer tone. "If you want to get this right, you re going to have to concentrate." We'd been out here for the past few hours and I could see his patience was starting to slip.

I nodded my head. I could tell I was frustrating him, so I told myself I would try harder to concentrate on aiming and not on Gar'han's face.

"Now, _nìmun_," he said. _Again._

I set my arms and feet in the stance he had taught me. I pulled the bow back, stretching it, then narrowed my eyes at the target Gar'han had hammered into a tree about 8 yards away. The target was actually some type of fruit. It remained untouched by my arrows. I narrowed my eyes at the fruit and released the arrow.

When the arrow pierced into the fruit, the air was knocked out of me. I looked wildly up at Gar'han to see if he had witnessed the same thing I had. I could tell by the purse of his lips that he had. He wasn't exactly smiling, but he wasn't frowning which was a huge improvement. I waited for him to say something.

"Did you see that?" I burst, not able to keep my excitement in any longer.

"Yes, my eyesight is fine. Do it again," he said calmly.

"But-"

"Do it again. I want to make sure it wasn't an accident," he said.

I groaned internally. Was there no pleasing him? So what if it was an accident? I'd hit the fruit.

I slipped an arrow out of the quiver on my back and settled it between my knuckles. Taking a deep breath, I pulled the bow back. I glanced at Gar'han and noticed a strand of hair had fallen in his face. Concentrate! Concentration is the key! My eyes focused back on the center of the fruit and I released the arrow.

Once again, it sunk into the fruit. I turned my smug face towards Gar'han. He truly looked as surprised as I felt.

"Wow, well I suppose were done for today," he said, still sounding astonished. A broad grin stretched over my face. He walked to the tree to pull the fruit off and collect the arrows. Bringing a knife out of his pocket he cut the thing in half revealing a vaguely familiar pink center. Hadn't I seen a fruit like that before?

He tilted his head back and slurped its contents. He glanced at me watching him and offered me the other half. To be honest, I wasn't hungry; Ja'ki had spent my morning s entire lesson either feeding me random crap or telling me which foods would give me more muscle. Apparently, according to Ja'ki, I needed to gain more muscle and I had to start off by gaining more weight. But I was curious to find out what the fruit tasted like so I took the fruit from him and took a swig.

I'd definitely had this fruit before.

My mind re-winded back to when I was fourteen on the day that Helen had been lecturing me about the Tree of Voices.

**_Flashback...-_**

"Utral Aymokriy ," Helen said interrupting me from my thoughts. I'd been distractedly watching the automatic plant-clearing machine eat away the small plants that had begun to sprout since it's last routine clean-up. Helen and I were sitting on a bench just underneath the large fence; Hells gate.

"What was that Helen," I asked.

"I said Utral Aymokriy. What does it mean in English?" she repeated patiently as she tapped her fingers against the book her hands.

"The Tree of Voices," I answered, my voice coming out sounding bored.

"Yes, and what is its importance?" she pressed.

"The Na'vi are able to communicate with the biological network that exists throughout Pandora. The Tree of Voices is the center of the Na'vi culture and religion and they believe it allows them to communicate directly with Eywa," I recited.

"And who is Eywa?" Helen asked.

I groaned. "Helen, I know who Eywa is."

She sighed behind her exopack mask. "I just want to make sure you're prepared. Eywa is very important to the Na'vi and they would take it offensively if you did not respect their goddess the way they do."

I was only fourteen, so it would be another four years before I actually would be introduced to the Na'vi. "Helen, we have plenty of time to prepare."

"Helen, Jessy!" Ray's voice called from a distance. We turned to see him jogging our way as he held onto his exopack mask.

"Ray! Put your mask on right now! That's dangerous!" Helen chided him in a motherly tone, although she was only ten years older than him. But then again Ray was ten years older than me, I thought with a twist in my stomach. Only another reason why I shouldn't have been attracted to him.

"I didn't have time!" His voice coming out rushed. "I was just getting off one of the gunships when I saw Dr. Augustine waiting for me. And you'll never believe what she told me!" He took a deep breath, "They ve started on my Avatar!"

"What! Are you serious?" Helen exclaimed.

"Yes, it s growing in an amino tank as we speak! Do you know what this means? I'm going to be one of the first ones to get an Avatar!" he said clearly excited.

Helen and Ray warped into a deep conversation about Avatars as my attention switched back to the plant-clearing machine. I noticed a small bio-luminescent plant that had sprouted. But just as quickly as I'd noticed it, it was gone.

"What happens if that machine misses a day?" I asked curiously, turning back to Helen and Ray.

Ray suddenly seemed to remember my presence again. "Oh Jessy, I got something while we were collecting," he said, rummaging through the bag that had been on his back. I was used to this. A lot of the times when Ray went out into Pandora, he would bring something back for me. He pulled out a green melon looking fruit.

"What is it?" I asked curiously as he took out a knife and sliced it in half, revealing a pink center.

"I don't know the name of it but I saw some of the Natives eating them," he said handing me the fruit. I was always eating human food that Helen gave me so it was exciting to try something new.

I took the fruit from his hands and brought it to my lips and took a sip. Mhmm. It almost tasted like grapefruit with less tang and more sweetness.

"It's delicious" I exclaimed. Ray and Helen laughed, and then continued on with their conversation as I ate from the fruit.

My attention switched to the giant fence that towered over us. Were all the fruits on the other side of those gates this delicious? I wondered what the plants looked like when they grew to their full potential instead of being hacked away routinely by a machine.

_I wanted to know what was passed Hell's Gates._

* * *

"Jessy?" Gar'han asked looking at me strangely and snapping me out of my revere.

"What? I asked.

"I asked you if you liked the fruit," he said.

"Oh," I said looking down at the melon. "Yes, I've had it before." He was still looking at me strangely. I cleared my throat. "So what's next?" I asked.

Suddenly we were interrupted by a loud familiar and welcoming sound.

The sound of a Scorpion Gunship.

I looked up, my eyes wide, to see a gunship flying over the tall trees. My hair whipped around me as I gasped. A scorpion gunship meant humans. Ray or Helen could be on that gunship, I thought as my heart hammered in my chest with hope.

The melon dropped from my hands and onto the forest floor, completely forgotten, as I broke out into a sprint in the direction of the gunship.

"Jessy!" Gar'han yelled.

But I continued running. I dodged past trees and leaped over protruding roots, desperate to catch up to the gunship. I had to get its attention somehow. I bent down quickly to scoop up a rock then continued my chase. As I sprinted I launched the rock towards the gunship, but it didn't even come close to hitting it.

"Hey!" I hollered, waving my arms as I ran, trying to get its attention. The distance between me and the gunship was getting larger and my legs were starting to burn. Maybe Ja'ki was right about me being weak. Suddenly my foot connected hard with some kind of rock and I was sent flying.

I flipped and landed on my back with an "Ouff!" I scrambled up and was ready to break into a sprint before a pair of hands caught my arms from behind.

"Are you crazy?" Gar'han barked, spinning me around. I could hear the Scorpion Gunship fading away along with my hope. My eyes locked on Gar'han's face to find him severely angry. I shoved his arms off of me to turn and looked hopelessly in the direction that the gunship had gone in. I think God sent that gunship just to tease me.

"No," I said breathing heavily from my run, as I turned around to face a pissed off Gar'han.

"Then why would you go chasing after humans, and try to get their attention!" Why was he yelling? I was standing right in front of him.

"I thought I may have known them," I mumbled brushing past him as I walked in the direction we had come in. Suddenly I heard heavy breathing. Was Gar'han breathing like that? I swirled around to a huge beast towering behind Gar'han and my heart almost leaped in my throat.

The huge creature had black leathery skin with several skin flaps on the back of his huge head. My jaw dropped as the flap slowly fleshed out and large quills protruded from around its head. I knew this animal very well; a Thanator. One of my favorite topics to learn about from Helen. It was so much more scary when it wasn't in a text book!

"Gar'han!" I yelled pointing behind him as the huge creatures mouth pulled back to expose its razor teeth. Gar'han whipped around and jumped back just as the beast took a snap at him.

"Jessy _tul_!" _Run._

I unsheathed a knife from my hip that Gar'han had given me, ready to fight. Gar'han dodges another attack and turned to grab my elbow and run. I sprinted along side of him with the beast hot on our tails.

The Thanator was gaining on our heels and I knew we couldn't out run him for long. The forest was thinning out as we continued to sprint.

As if things couldn't get any worse, just as we cleared the forest, we reached a cliff. Both Gar'han and I skidded to a stop. Below I could see a deep pool of water. The cliff wasn't incredibly high but it looked like it would hurt a little to hit the water.

"We have to jump," Gar'han said. "The Palulukans can't swim."

Just as he said this I turned around to see we were suddenly face to face with the Thanator.

"_Spä_!" _Jump._ Gar'han said grabbing my hand, and jumping, bringing me with him. We hit the water with a hard smack. Fortunately the water was deep so I sunk below for a second before emerging. I swirled around to see Gar'han also emerging. I swam on my back towards the shore as I looked up at the top of the cliff. The Thanator stood shifting indecisively at the top. Giving up, he turned on his six legs and sprinted back into the forest just as I reached the shore. I collapsed onto the grassy land soaking wet and sprawled onto my back.

Did that really just happen? I thought, while I breathed heavily. A choked airy laughter left my lips. I couldn't believe that had really just happened! How the hell did I end up in these situations?

Gar'han emerged from the water, dripping with water and stalked past me angrily. I climbed off of my back and followed him.

"What's your problem? Were not dead. Neither of us are hurt," I asked, becoming annoyed with his constant show of seriousness.

"No thanks to you," he snapped. True, I was partially to blame for leading us directly into the Thanator's territory, but I didn't do it on purpose.

I grabbed onto his arms to stop him from walking. I noticed that his wet hair was falling out of his long braid and into his face."Why do you take everything so seriously?"

"Why don't you take anything serious?" he retorted, pulling his arms out my grasp and continued walking.

I decided to drop it. I didn't feel like arguing. After a few seconds I asked, "Do you know where we are?"

"Yes," he replied in a clipped answer. So for a few minutes I trailed behind him in silence as I watched a few stray beads of water fall down his back. After a few more minutes in the forest we reached a clearing and Home Hill was visible. A few Na'vi were riding past us on their direhorse. One of them was Fara.

"Kaltxì Jessy," she called smiling. She took at my appearance as she came closer and hopped off of the direhorse. "Why are you two all wet?"

I opened my mouth but Gar'han answered for us. "Went for a swim," he muttered darkly and walked past Fara, leaving me alone with her.

"Ohh," she said but as soon as he was out of ear shot, whispered to me, "Did you two get into a fight or something?"

I shrugged as though I had no clue. "I don't know what his problem is," I said innocently.

She shrugged also and climbed back onto her direhorse and offered me a hand. I took it thankfully, tired of walking.

Later that evening I followed Fara into the dining hall for supper. Tali was sitting in a closed circle of elder Na'vi so I supposed we wouldn't be eating with her today. Instead Fara lead me to a small group of young Na'vi. Ja'ki and Gar'han were both sitting in this group.

As I passed Ja'ki he pulled me down on his lap, laughing. I couldn't tell if he had a few puffs of Yukah or if he was just being himself. I opened my mouth to object but he corked my mouth by stuffing some kind of bread in it. I chewed it and realized that it tasted pretty good. "Promise me you'll eat all of this," he placed a bowl that was ridiculously over piled with food onto my lap, "And I'll let you up."

"I promise," I said quickly, and to prove myself, I reached into the bowl and stuffed some kind of sliced fruit into my mouth.

He threw his head back laughing, and released me from my spot on his lap and I stood and took a seat between Gar'han and Fara. Gar'han didn't acknowledge my presence so I guessed he was still pissed at me. Whatever. I was happy to see that there was no meat in today's meal, so I could eat without worrying that I was consuming a viperwolf. Just as I was finishing my last bite, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to see Tali standing over me.

"I was just about to go for a walk, would you like to join me?" she asked.

"Sure," I said, dusting the crumbs off of my fingers and standing up. We remained silent as I followed Tali through a few tunnels and out of Homehill. The night breeze brushed against my face and ruffled my hair.

"So you and Ja'ki are becoming good friends," she said casually. It had been a statement but she said it as a question.

I shrugged. "He's alright," I muttered. He's also been stuffing me with food like thanksgiving turkey. I hoped she wouldn't bring up the whole Ja'ki and Jessy=life mates thing.

"I'd hoped you two would become friends. Then maybe something more..." she trailed off.

"Tali, I thought we made a deal...You would give me three months. We don't know if I'm staying so why bother discussing life mates if we're still uncertain?" I asked.

She smiled. "Of course Jessy. We'll go at your pace."

The guilty feeling that I'd felt when she'd first hugged me settled in my stomach again. I was supposed to be convincing her that I wasn't her daughter, but here she was, still completely positive that I was her flesh and blood. I could tell by the way she smiled, she believed I was staying and I hated giving her that type of hope.

"What makes you so sure I'm your daughter?" I asked as she stooped down to pluck a small yellow bio-luminescent flower from the ground.

I noticed the bio-luminescent dots on her face were glowing and it seemed to make her blend in with Pandora's environment, as though she was a part of it."Your father had this energy in him." she started looking up at the sky wistfully. "It was like I could see Eywa's spirit in him and it showed through his eyes." She placed the flower gently behind my ear. "And you have the same spirit in your eyes."

_Well that definitely proved that I was her daughter_, I thought sarcastically. "Don't you think that there is a remote chance that I'm not your daughter? And maybe your daughter is still out there?" I asked.

"_Kehe_," _no_ she said without hesitation. I immediately knew it would be very hard to convince her otherwise. She hummed softly to herself as we continued on our walk.

* * *

The next morning I sat with Fara by a stream of water, beading necklaces and bracelets together. A few other Na'vi women sat around gossiping but I was paying more attention to Gar'han who was showing a young child Na'vi how to catch a fish while Ja'ki and a few other Na'vi were throwing nets into the water. It was strange seeing Gar'han work with a child. He just didn't seem like the type that was good with kids. But clearly the child was enjoying himself.

Normally I would be with Ja'ki, falling off a direhorse and onto my butt, but Fara had informed me that it was "fishing day".

"Look at her, she can't take her eyes off of him." One of the girls giggled. I suddenly realized they were talking about me.

"Who?" I asked alarmed.

"Ja'ki," Fara said her eyes also on Ja'ki. I turned to see Ja'ki cast a net into the water not at all aiming for a school of fish but for a male Na'vi's head. All of the Na'vi around them burst into laughter as the net covered man lunged at Ja'ki, bringing him into the water. I couldn't help but roll my eyes. I hadn't been looking at Ja'ki at all.

"How old is Gar'han?" I asked Fara, hoping it would come out sounding like a random question.

She shrugged. "Probably twenty-two or twenty-three years old. Why?" she asked as she searched in our bowl full of beads and trinkets for something she liked.

"Just wandering. Because you know how he's always so serious. He just seems kind of mature for his age," I said casually.

"Oh he's definetly the serious type," she said as she found a bead. "But he wasn't always like that." This perked my interest.

"Really?"

"Oh yes, he was always smiling when he was younger. I don't know him all that well, but any time I visited his clan I always saw him smiling." Gar'han smiling? That'll be the day."I believe he is still greiving. When he reached his teenage years both of his parents were killed." she said sadly. Before I could rudely ask how? She said, "The demons killed them." And I snapped my mouth shut. Suddenly Gar'han's extreme hate for humans clicked into place. But why did the humans kill his parents? "But that's not all. When he turned eighteen, just like all Na'vi, he had to take a life mate."

"Did he?" I asked, my mouth going dry.

"Yes," she replied. "But she died in childbirth." I'm sure my mouth had hit the floor at this point. That meant Gar'han was a father! "But the child died also." I gasped.

"That's terrible." I whispered, my stomach twisting at the thought of a baby never having a chance at life. It was just wrong. I could never be irritated at Gar'han again. Not after knowing all of this about him. I looked down at the beads in my hand, no longer in the mood for it.

My eyes looked up and locked on Gar'han's. I knew he couldn't hear us from all the way over there but he was still staring straight at me.

I wasn't interested in being with Gar'han.

The very thought of me ever having a life mate made me sick to the stomach. Committment issues?

And I most definitely didn't want a relationship with a Native; that would just get way too complicated.

So why was I disappointed by the fact that Gar'han already had a mate and could never have another?

**Thank you all for reading this far and please leaves me a review to let me know what you all think.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar.**

The following week passed by quickly. I'd developed a routine; Fara wakes me up, I get riding lessons, and then bow and arrow lessons, then spent the rest of the day doing whatever. I spent most of my time with Fara, Ja'ki, or Gar'han. I was making slow progress with Ja'ki but it was progress none the less. Fara and I were gradually becoming attached to the hip. If I wasn't taking lessons from Ja'ki or Gar'han I was with her. Fara proved to the most entertaining of company. She was always full of stories and legends to tell about the history of the Na'vi. Although she was a bit of a gossip, her stories were always promising. Most of my time with Fara was spent beading, swimming, playing with the children Na'vi or simply just walking around aimlessly through the forest listening to one of her stories.

Gar'han was a difficult topic. The only time I spent with him was during my lessons and occasionally during dinner. I wasn't sure how to act around him and it left me feeling awkward. I constantly wanting to ask about his past but I knew it wasn't any of my business. I was just being nosy. A part of me wondered why Gar'han stayed with me instead of going back to his clan. I already knew that he didn't exactly like me, or at least that's what it felt like, so his reasons remained a mystery to me. We had advanced from shooting inanimate targets to shooting live creatures. This proved itself a difficult feat and I felt as though learning how to shoot a melon had been a waste of time. Gar'han however remained patient with me (well, most of the time), but I'd yet to actually kill an animal.

Sometimes, when I was alone, like at night or while I was bathing, I would think back to Helen and Ray. I was positive they were no longer looking for me and presumed me dead. Yet I couldn't stop the hopeful feeling inside me that thought they hadn't given up on me. But I bitterly knew better.

"Jessy," Fara said. Something told me she had called my name more than once.

"I'm sorry what?" I asked, snapping out of my thoughts and looked up to see Fara eyeing me, amused by my lack of attention. It was dinner time and we were sitting in a group of Na'vi eating dinner. Tali sat at my left and Fara at my right, while I picked at my food.

"I asked, how long before you turn eighteen?" she repeated patiently. I hadn't thought about my birthday in a while but now as I thought about it I realized my birthday was in-

"Three weeks," Tali replied before I could answer. My mouth hung open for a moment. She was right. But how? My mind shifted around trying to find an answer. I wanted to tell her she wrong but she wasn't. A smug smile formed on her lips as she noticed my bewildered expression.

I felt a pair of eyes on me and I looked up to see Gar'han watching me curiously.

I quickly closed my mouth, and said calmly, "Yes that s right, three weeks."

"Really!" Fara exclaimed, clearly more excited than me. "Are you going to get a tattoo?"

"No!" I exclaimed, slightly paling at the thought of a needle touching my skin.

"It's traditional," Tali explained, "When we turn eighteen, we get our first tattoo, a dire horse, as a representation of our loyalty to the horse clan." But she noticed my expressions and quickly added, "But we don't expect you to get one, if you don't want to." Well, that's a relief.

"But you should," Fara urged. "You can get it put where ever you want it."

"That's right," Ja'ki interrupted holding up his arm and revealing a tattooed direhorse on his melon sized bicep. "Take notices that as I flex it, the horse trots." He said flexing his muscle proudly. I couldn't help but roll my eyes. What a goof.

Fara however found him amusing and giggled. My eyes quickly flashed over her body. "Where is yours?" I asked.

She blushed and for someone reason glanced at Ja'ki from under her eyelashes. "I have one." OK?

I looked up to see Gar'han stand and leave. For some reason I wanted to follow him. A few moments later Fara stood and stretched.

After letting out a yawn she said, "I'm tired. You?" I noticed that the other Na'vi were beginning to clear out, to go and retire to bed.

I shook my head.

"Well I'm going to sleep, goodnight."

I bid her fair well before rising to walk in the direction Gar'han had left.

I walked through a few tunnels, slightly lost, before emerging from Home Hill and out into the fresh night air. I saw no sign of Gar'han. The bio-luminescent plants danced around me beautifully and bright colors sprouted beneath each footstep I took. I decided not to wonder to far from Home Hill knowing it was most dangerous at night and took to wondering aimlessly while picking small flowers. After a few minutes I decided to go back inside. I wasn't exactly sure why I was here anyways. But I stopped.

I sensed him before I actually heard his voice. "What are you doing out here?" he asked from behind me. He didn't sound angry our happy, just serious as usual. I turned around to see him approaching me slowly. Well, I could ask him the same question.

Instead I held up the small bouquet of flowers in my defense, "Picking flowers." I replied.

He sighed looking down at the flowers. "You should go inside, it's dangerous out here."

I shrugged, stooping down to pluck another flower from the ground. I looked up at his serious face and smiled. "Plants don't grow like this where I'm from." I murmured.

His expression changed slightly to something different. "Do you miss it? Do you miss...them?" His voice took on a bitter edge with the last word.

My eyes shot up to his. I wasn't going to try to explain my relationship with humans. He wouldn't understand, he wouldn't want to. I nodded silently.

"Unbelievable," he muttered.

My teeth gritted. I had to understand his hate for humans. If I had parents and they were murdered by humans, I would probably hate them, too. So I held back my harsh retort and replied calmly, You wouldn't understand."

"If you could right now, would you go back?" he asked, searching my eyes. That was a no-brainer.

"Yes," I whispered, looking guiltily down at my bouquet.

"What about Tali? She believes you're her daughter. But your just using her aren't you?" he hissed. "As soon as you can stand on your own two feet, you re going to sprint back to your humans."

I gasped. He really knew how to make a person feel like shit. I didn't need him to add onto my guilt. I could feel my eyes prickle with tears that threatened to leak. Nooo, please don't cry, please don't cry.

"No! And what does it matter to you! That's my business!" I said pointing at my chest with emphasis. I took a breath to calm myself down. "You don't understand." I repeated turning away from him as traitorous tears slid down my cheeks. Ugh, I hated when I cried. "Put yourself in my position. If you were raised by humans, if they took care of you, nurtured you, wouldn't you care about them? Wouldn't you...love them?" I asked my voice cracking.

"Jessy-" he said softly.

But I cut him off, I wasn't finished. "Remember the machine in the sky I was chasing? I fell from one of those. Before then I'd never set foot in this forest. Before then I'd never even seen a Na'vi before. What would you do? I went for the gun; it was my only chance at surviving. Then the next thing I know I'm waking up surrounded by Na'vi. It all happened so fast! One moment I'm falling from a gunship next I'm on my way to meet my _mother_. What would you do?" I repeated. I finally caught my breath after my boring monologue. I hoped he hadn't fallen asleep.

My heart stuttered as I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around me. "I'm sorry."He whispered softly from behind me, pulling me to his chest. I was frozen for a moment in shock, Gar'han was hugging me? I thought, before slowly turning around in his arms and accepting the embrace.

"I didn't mean to hurt or use anybody," I mumbled. A question was dancing around in my mind that I couldn't ignore. I pulled back to see his face. "Why are you staying here? Why don't you go back to your own clan?" I asked.

He pulled his arms away from me and sighed his face becoming closed off.

"You don't have to tell me if you don t want to."I muttered. Why was I so nosy?

"No, its ok," he said. For a moment he was silent before finally answering my question quietly. "Home Tree has too many memories. I could use a break from it." I could tell he wasn't going to speak anymore on this subject. Was he talking about memories of his parents...or memories of his life mate? Probably both.

I yawned, giving myself away.

"Come on, you should get some rest," he said leading me back into Home Hill.

That night as I drifted off to sleep I thought about the things that I'd discovered about Gar'han today; #1: Gar'han hadn't stayed at Home Hill because of me, but to escape the memories of Home Tree, #2: Gar'han was exactly one head taller than me, #3: Gar'han was a sucker for tears.

I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

* * *

The next day I was awoken by Fara, as was our routine, then went to bathe (fully dressed as usual). After my bath I went out in search of Ja'ki for my riding lessons. I spotted Ja'ki outside of Home Hill with a group of other male Na'vi.

"Jessy," he called in greeting with his signature grin stretched across his face as he tossed me a fruit.

"Hey Ja'ki," I greeted before biting into the exotic fruit.

"Today is the day." he said confidently. He was positive that today would be the day that I would be able to ride the horse without falling off. He had more faith then me.

"You said that yesterday," I said being negative.

He let out a whistle and his direhorse came trotting into view. His huge frame climbed gracefully onto it's back then offered me a hand. I took it and the horse beneath us galloped into the forest headed for the grassy land that held the wild direhorses.

When we reached the grassy clearing I hopped off of the direhorse, Ja'ki following suit. Not waiting for Ja'ki's instructions (I'd only heard them a thousand times) I strode to the nearest direhorse. I could tell I'd slightly startled the animal so I placed my palm against its leather skin to calm him...or her.

"_Mawey_" When I was sure the direhorse was relaxed I leaped onto its back. I connected our queues, no longer disgusted by something so natural.

As usual, the direhorse bucked and jerked against me. I tightened my thighs around it, grinding my teeth and hoping the horse would calm down before I fell off. I fought against the horse; with every jerk it gave, I held tighter and jerked back. But soon my muscles were screaming at me and I fell on the ground.

"Ouch!" I yelped as I skinned my palm in the process of falling. Lying on the ground, I glared at the direhorse's retreating form. And as usual, Ja'ki burst into laughter. I failed to see the amusement any longer. "It's not funny!" I snapped like a child.

"It actually is very funny," he said after he finally caught his breath. "The look on your face every time you fall off is hilarious," he grinned but it fell off his face when he saw I wasn't smiling at all. He sighed, finally becoming serious (It was funny how Gar'han and Ja'ki were total opposites). " Jessy, you need to stop fighting the Pa'li."

"Stop fighting it? What else am I supposed to do when it's jerking around like that?" I asked, bewildered.

"You don't need to fight it. You need to command it." He explained but I still felt confused. "Now let's try again."

The second time I climbed onto the horse and connected our queues it bucked and jerked so I thought about what Ja'ki said. Don't fight it? I clenched my thighs around it, still fighting against it. I closed my eyes and tried to connect my thoughts with the animals. For a moment it fought against me then suddenly I was one with horse.

I could feel that my presence was unwanted. It was a she. My eyes flew open. Wow. The clarity of the connection was mind blowing. I shut my eyes and linked my thoughts with her's.

_I command you to obey me!_

And just like that, the direhorse calmed down in a second. My eyes flew open once again in amazement. She was listening to me! I had done it! I had tamed her! I craned my neck to see Ja'ki with a grin stretched across his face. I urged the horse forward until we met with Ja'ki.

"I did it!" I exclaimed. "She's listening to me!"

Ja'ki chuckled, "I told you today was the day," he said before letting out a whistle for his own direhorse. He leaped upon his horse then turned to me. "So what are going to name her?"

Ray. No, that was a guy name. "Helen," I grinned, patting the neck of the direhorse...Helen.

Then with a playful twinkle in his eye he declared. "Let's race!" Before taking off. What a cheat!

I let out a playful screeching native call and commanded Helen to take off after Ja'ki. The feeling of riding a direhorse (front seat) was euphoric.

The trees of the forest flashed by in a blur as Helen dashed after Ja'ki. She dodged nimbly through the fauna without a scratch.

It was un-believable. We broke through a clearing of trees and Home Hill was visible. My eyes caught Ja'ki's and I immediately knew that Home Hill was the finish line. I urged Helen faster and suddenly I was head and head with Ja'ki. Ja'ki playfully shoved me, not really trying to push me off, but still setting me kind of off balance. Retaliating, I leaned over to shove him.

It was a mistake. _My bad._

I ,not so gracefully, leaned too far and before I knew it, I'd lost my balance and was toppling head first towards the ground. My head connected with the earth (well I guess Pandora) before my body followed. But that was nothing compared to the pain of having my arm trampled underneath the heavy hooves of the direhorse. I let out a cry. That definitely was going to leave a bruise.

My head was pounding as I sat up. Everything was shifting and nothing would stay still. Ja'ki had climbed off his horse and sprinted towards me.

"Jessy!" A voice called in the distance. Was that Gar'han? It was hard to tell because everything sounded muffled, as though I was listening through a wall. But sure enough Gar'han came into view.

"Gar'han! I did it! I learned how to ride..." My voice trailed off as I became dizzier. Even my own voice sounded muffled. I ran my hand over my head, my finger coming back bloody.

Gar'han glared at Ja'ki. "What did you do?"

"Nothing! We were just racing then-" Ja'ki said defensively but was cut off.

"Racing! She just learned to ride and you were racing?" Gar'han shoved Ja'ki irritably out of the way and placed his hands on my head feeling for a lump.

"Yeah, and I won!" I exclaimed proudly. My arm felt numb as Gar'han's nimble fingers probed my head. "Hey Gar'han," I mumbled feeling extremely dizzy.

"What?"

"I can't feel my arm."

His fingers froze on my head, as his attention switched to my numb arm. Suddenly I felt a splitting pain in my arm I looked down to see Gar'han probing it.

"Ouch, stop that!" My muffled voice cried.

"You said you couldn't feel it."

"I can now and it hurts!" I heard another voice approaching. It sounded like Tali but I couldn t be sure.

"Here give her this," Tali's muffled voice said handing him a flask. "It will take away the pain." He brought it to my lips and I swallowed it eagerly.

Almost immediately the pain in my head began to ebb. Just as quickly as the pain was leaving, so was my awareness.

"Should we take her inside?" A voice asked.

"No I want to stay out here... I mumbled hazily. "I want to enjoy the stars." I smiled at the shining lights that blurred my vision.

"Jessy...it's day time," Gar'han voice said before I was knocked out.

* * *

When I woke up it was dark out, besides the moons that lit the sky and the bio luminescent plants that were scattered all over Pandora. I guessed I'd slept all through the day and into the night. My head was resting against something soft and warm.

Warm? My eyes flew open. Gar'han's soft snore was what kept me yelping in surprise. I was practically on top of him. My body was molded against his; my arm was latched over his chest and my leg draped over his abdomen while my head rested comfortably on his chest. The position was beyond too intimate to be considered casual, especially with all the skin to skin contact.

I quickly jerked away before he could wake up and think I was trying to rape him. That had been the closest I'd ever been to a male. Ever.

Suddenly noticing my arm felt funny, I looked down to see it was neatly wrapped and placed in a sling. Oh yeah...I remembered my race with Ja'ki that had ended badly. I tried sitting up but my head and my body were not working on the same accord and my head fell back to the ground with a thump.

My attention changed from my inability to sit up right to Gar'han's breathing which had increased. He turned on his side and his arm fanned out searching for something. It landed on me. Was he awake? I yelped as he pulled me closer until there was no space between us and wrapped his arm around my waist as though I was teddy-bear. He sighed contentedly before his breathing became even and he was once again snoring softly.

He probably thought I was his deceased _life mate_.

I'd remained frozen but then I reluctantly melted into his arms, choosing to enjoy the comfort.

Closing my eyes, I decided I'd deal with repercussions later and fell back to sleep.

* * *

"Jessy!" a voice whispered. My eyes flew open to see Tali leaning over me.

I grumbled before turning on my back to go back to sleep. Suddenly I noticed the space beside me was empty. I sat up suddenly; not a good idea. I was immediately attacked by a wave of staggering dizziness.

I felt a firm hand on my shoulder that kept me from standing up. "Here, drink this," Tali said, bringing the flask to my lips. I took a few swallows and the dizziness began to fade.

I yawned and stretched as I peered around me. We were still outside but now it was day time. I must have been out for a while. My stomach let out an obnoxious growl and Tali gave me a fruit to eat.

"You were really knocked out," Tali noted, with a smile playing on her lips as the tribal tattoo on the side of her face gleamed in the sunlight. It wasn't until now that I noticed the tattoo was actually a direhorse.

I nodded, "I must have hit my head pretty hard," I murmured as I rubbed my finger over a sore spot on my head and winced.

"Here let me see it," she said, bringing her hand to my scalp. She reached her other hand into a pouch on her hip and pulled out some type of herb. After applying the ointment she placed it back into her bag. Almost instantly, the sore on my head felt icy and eventually numb so that the pain was gone.

I smiled appreciatively at Tali, "Thank you."

"It's no problem," she said shrugging it off. As she sat down next to me. "You were being a bit reckless yesterday," she remarked.

I smiled, "Just having some fun."

Her eyes flashed down to my smile, "Yes, with Ja'ki," She said misinterpreting my smile.

The smile was immediately gone. "Tali-" I began but she cut me off.

"You still don't believe you re my daughter," she said disappointedly, but then her eyes turned firm. "But you will eventually."

The way she said it made my heart squeeze a little bit. How could she have so much faith in me? I didn't know how to get it through her head that I wasn't her daughter. I felt like yelling at her I'm not your daughter! But I knew she still would stay stubborn.

And once again the seed of guilt sprouted in my stomach. What was she going to do when I left in three months? Gar'han voice rang in my ears.

What about Tali? She believes you re her daughter. Your just using her aren t you?

Gar'han was right though, as much as I wanted to deny it. I was using Tali. I was using her belief that I was her daughter against her to help me.

I looked up at her trusting eyes.

I wasn't her daughter.

I stood up suddenly. I felt like I needed to go somewhere. Anywhere. Just to be alone for a little bit.

"Jessy?" Tali asked uncertainly, as she noticed my sudden indecision.

"I need to be alone for little bit," I mumbled suddenly taking off. "I'll be right back." I called over my shoulder.

The last thing I saw was Tail s bewildered expression before I took off in a sprint into the forest.

_I can't run away from the guilt forever._

* * *

"Jessy!" Gar han s voice called.

My back rested against the bark of a tree as my head settled against my knees. I'd probably been in this same position for the past half hour stuck in indecision. The right thing to do would be to cut things off with Tali and leave now before she became too attached to me. However, I wasn't ready to trek through Pandora alone. I could ride a direhorse, and shoot a bow and arrow at an inanimate object, but in true danger, that wouldn't be enough.

"Jessy," Gar'han called once again until he was standing over me. "Are you crazy! Do you know how dangerous it is out here alone?" He rattled.

I looked up. "Gar'han you were right. I am using Tali," I whispered. "I have to leave. I'm not her daughter, I don't belong here."

"I told you I was sorry about what I said, I didn't mean it-"

"But you were right. I need to leave," I said firmly as I stood up.

For a moment Gar'han stared at me. As though he was thinking or considering something. Finally he said, "Do you want to find out if you re really Tail s daughter?"

"I already know I'm not! I don't have parents! I don't have a mo-"

"But I know a way that you could find out for sure...I'm talking about solid proof" he said interrupting me. I furrowed my brow. I knew the Na'vi didn't have a record keeper, so what was he talking about? Not waiting for a response, he let out a call for his direhorse.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"You're coming," he said lifting me onto the direhorse as though I weighed two pounds, carefully avoiding touching my injured arm.

"Ok, so where are we going?" I repeated looking down at him confused.

He sprung onto the direhorse and settled in behind me, attaching the neural queue.

"Utral Aymokriy," he answered before taking off into the forest.

* * *

**A/N: Utral Aymokriy is the Tree of Voices if anybody forgot. ****Thanks for reading this far and please leave me a review to let me know what you think.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar. :(**

_Flashback_

I stroked the brush across the canvas, concentrating. The melody of the quiet music player on my nightstand drifted through my ears, mirroring the mood of my painting.

It was probably past midnight, but I hadn't checked the time since I'd first started the painting, and when I painted, my perception of time completely dissipated and I was lost into a world of creativity. Helen had bought the canvas, worrying that I had too much time in between her schooling me and teaching me about Pandora. My daily activities were pretty limited, seeing how the RDA base wasn't exactly a play ground, so I'd taken to painting, not only to pass the time but to express my imagination.

I stood painting in my bedroom inside my barrack, or what Helen liked to call, my dorm, because that was basically what it looked like.

It was kept ventilated by the air from Pandora, my natural breathing air and so it was separated from the human's living space. I'd grown up in this barrack and therefore had personalized it to fit me. In the center of my bedroom was a 10 and 1/2 foot long bed, the perfect length for my comfort. Everything else in the room was customized for my Na'vi sized body. My desk, my chair, the night stand. Even my canvas was taller than one that a human would use. There was a small hallway leading out of my bedroom and into an also small living room that connected to an equally small kitchen area. Not that I really ever used the kitchen; Helen always supplied my food.

I dipped the brush back into the midnight blue paint then continued to stroke the brush over the canvas.

I was interrupted by a sudden knock at the door. It caused my hand to jump from the surprise and swipe across the front of my shirt. Crap, I should have worn a smock like Helen told me to.

"Coming," I called as I placed the brush into a cup of water. I figured it was Helen at the door. She often checked in on me at night, with her motherly ways, and probably had seen the lights shining through my windows. "_Why haven't you gone to bed yet? You need to be up early tomorrow for your lessons," _I could practically hear her voice say.

I quickly wiped my fingers on a rag and went into the hallway and to my front door.

When I opened the door I was surprised to see Ray's face greet me.

"Ray?" I greeted surprised.

"Hey Jess," he nodded before walking under my arm and into my living room. Of course he didn't have to duck under my arm seeing how I was almost 3 feet taller than him.

"What are doing here?" I asked as I watched him settle himself at my couch and pulled his huge backpack off his shoulders. It wasn't exactly a normal occurrence for him to show up at my door unexpectedly past midnight. I walked around the couch to plop down next to him.

He fidgeted through his bag looking for something, ignoring my question and glanced at me before saying, "Didn't Helen tell you to always wear a smock while painting?" he asked distractedly noticing the paint smeared across the front of my pajama shirt.

I grumbled something about not being able to find it before rising to go to my bathroom. Swiping another shirt out of my dresser on my way to the bathroom, I shrugged out of the shirt I was wearing and closed the bathroom door behind me. I pulled the clean white t-shirt on and set my other one under the faucet before it could stain. After adding some oxy-clean, I left the bathroom and found Ray just entering my bedroom with some type of container in his hand. It probably contained the latest thing he'd discovered on one of his _grand_ adventures through Pandora. Yes, I was jealous.

"What's that?" I asked curiously coming closer for a better look.

"The reason why I'm here." He grinned, a dimple appearing on his left cheek. I peered closer. It looked like a normal container. It sort of looked like tuba wear that you put leftover food in except it was completely black so I couldn't see what was inside.

"Oh Ray! You brought left over spaghetti," I teased reaching for the container. He quickly jerked it out of my reach.

"You can't tell Helen about this." he said seriously, dropping the grin. My curiosity peeked.

"Ok, I cross my heart hope to die," I said quickly.

"You know how Helen is a tree hugger and all. She'd have my head if she knew I brought back an actual specimen from Pandora." he said, explaining his reasoning. We both knew how much Helen cared about the environment.

My eyes widened. "There's an actually creature in there?" It looked too small to contain an animal though.

He nodded slowly, his grin returning along with his dimple. Slowly he spread his fingers over the top and pulled back slightly. I bent forward to peak into the container but it was too dark to see.

"I can t see it,"

"Well I can't open it all the way,"

"Why not?"

"Because it took me over an hour to catch the thing."

I raised my eyebrows. Well he certainly had a lot of time on his hands. Did he get payed by the hour? "Can I hold it so I can get a better look?" I asked.

He nodded hesitantly and handed it to me. "Be careful."

The container felt light in my hands. Not able to bare the suspense any longer, I pulled the edge of the lid open a crack and peeked. A faint glow shined inside but I still couldn't make out what it was. I cracked it open a little bit wider.

_My bad._

Within a half second the thing shot out of the container. I gasped as the small white creature glided through the air like a jellyfish in water. It was beautiful.

"What is it?" I asked in awe stretching my hand out towards it. The small creature glided its way to me and perched on the tip of my finger. I shivered at the silky feeling.

"A seed," He answered watching me interact with the small creature. "A seed from the Tree of Voices."

Utral Aymokriy ...

It was so exquisite looking. The most graceful and beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Slowly, Ray picked up the container I'd discarded on the side of my bed and brought it to the seed. In one quick motion he snapped it closed around the creature.

"Took me over an hour before to catch and now only seconds. I guess it liked you." He noted.

"Are you going to free it?"

He nodded quickly. "I just wanted you to see it. Remember don't tell Hele-" he trailed off as his eyes wondered to something behind me.

I turned on the bed to see he'd been staring at my painting. I glanced back at him as he stood from the bed and crossed to the canvas, his eyes never leaving it. Ray and I both shared an equal love for art and painting.

"You did this?" he whispered, his eyes turning to mine, suddenly intense.

I could feel my face heat up. "I know it's not very good, I-"

"No it's beautiful, it's just...how. How could you paint this? You've never even..." he trailed off in his thoughts.

I looked up at the painting. I hadn't really been thinking about what I'd been painting. I was just expressing myself in the painting. It was a portrait of a simple waterfall.

"What is it Ray?" I asked, confused by the way he was acting.

He stared at the painting for a moment before answering.

"It's Pandora."

_End of Flashback_

I jerked awake... and almost toppled over. I felt a strong arm tighten around my waist.

"Careful," Gar'han's voice said from behind me. We were still on the direhorse but the sun had fallen and it was now night time.

My muscles felt stiff. I wondered how long I'd been asleep. I remembered stopping a few times to give the horse a break and once to eat.

"Can we take a break?" I asked, my voice coming out whinier then I ment.

The direhorse slowed to a stop and Gar'han climbed off gracefully. He held out his arms to assist me down the horse and I clambered down, wincing once when I bumped my injured arm against the horse.

"Does it hurt?" he asked. If I didn't know Gar'han better I'd say he was worried about me.

"No, it feels like heaven," I grumbled. Did I mention I'm a bit sarcastic when I first wake up?

"You know Gar'han, when you said we were going somewhere I didn't know you meant that we would be gone for the entire day," I grouched as I arched my back in a stretch. I smiled when I heard a satisfying crack in my back bone.

Gar'han rolled his eyes at me, "You'll thank me."

I wondered what exactly I was expecting when we reached the Tree of Voices. I wasn't sure if the connection would work for me. I wasn't actually a Na'vi, just a DNA copy. But then again, I was able to connect with direhorse's so why not the Tree of Voices? And if the connection did work, what exactly would happen? Was it just going to tell me _hey sorry but Tali isn't your mom_, or was it just going to reject me because I was the product of humans? A better question was, why was I even bothering with this? I knew the outcome; I wasn't the daughter of Tali.

Then what would happen?

Tali would be devastated, that's what would happen. Then I would have to set out in search of the RDA base. Alone.

Just as these thoughts passed through my head a small familiar white creature floated into view. A Seed. For the briefest moment, I considered if this could be the same seed that Ray had shown me only a month ago. Just as quickly as the thought had come it vanished. The chances were highly unlikely.

The white seed floated towards me and I extended my fingers for it to land on. Its silky tendrils settled onto my palm.

I turned to Gar'han. He was watching the me with mild curiosity. "We're close, aren't we?" I asked.

He nodded. "We should keep going now."

I nodded and the glowing seed drifted off of my hand and into the air. Just as the seed disappeared into the distance, we settled back onto Gar'han's direhorse and continued our travel to the Tree of Voices.

I thought about Gar'han. What were his intentions? And what was he going to do when it was proved that I wasn't Tali's daughter?

Gar'han was tricky to figure out. At times, I could swear he didn't like me. Or at least I annoyed him. And other times, he would let another side of himself show. The side that worried about me and cared about me.

I felt Gar'han nudge me, interrupting me from my thoughts. "Utral Aymokriy ." He indicated by pointing his finger.

Off in the distance below stood the Tree of Voices.

My eyes widened at the site of the great tree. The pictures Helen had shown me had not done the Tree justice at all. The picture had not captured the vibrant white of the giant willow like tree. It had also failed in capturing the spiritual essence that radiated from it. I knew immediately that I was looking at the heart of Pandora.

As we drew closer to the grand tree, my awe increased. Finally we reached the base of the rocks that surrounded it.

Gar'han slid off then helped me down.

Suddenly I felt like this was a bad idea. It felt as though what I was about to do was disrespectful to the tree and even more important, Eywa. I knew I wasn't Tali's daughter. So why was I bothering with this? Would the tree feel that I was making a joke of it?

I remained frozen until I felt Gar'han's hand lightly touch my shoulder. "You've came this far," he said encouragingly.

I nodded but did not move. He was right. I hadn't come this far just to chicken out. I just didn't want to go alone. "Come with me?" I asked abruptly turning to him.

He nodded. "I'll be right behind you," he affirmed before giving me a light push in the direction of the tree.

There was something I still needed to ask though. I turned around to face him. "When this...this thing tells me that I'm not Tali's daughter, what are you going to do?" I asked. I needed to know.

Instead of answering my question he said, "Almah is always right," then took my hand in his, and led me up the stones of the tree. As we ascended, we were shrouded by the tree's willow like limbs.

We continued to walk until we completely cloaked by the trees willow branches. I gazed around me and wonder. Hesitantly I brought my hand forward and lightly touched one of hanging tendrils. It was soft.

I looked up at Gar'han as if checking to see if he was still there. He nodded encouragingly.

Slowly I drew from the nape of my neck, my long queue.

Ever so slowly I brought the tip up and finally closed the distance between it and the tendrils of the tree.

And in that moment I experienced something other-worldly.

As if I couldn't control my own body, my eyelids slammed shut.

* * *

_I was no longer standing next to Gar'han with his hand in mine._

_I was no longer even at Utral Aymokriy_

_I was in the past. I could feel it._

_Then I began to see..._

_Images, faces, clips, actions all in a rushed blur. I was seeing the past!_

_They all blurred so fast not giving me a chance to study them. I saw faces of Na'vi long since dead._

_Ancestors?_

_Then it hit me. And I felt as though a brick had been thrown at my chest._

My_ Ancestors._

_As soon as this realization struck me, the images slowed to a stop and everything was pitch black._

_Suddenly my ears were being bombarded by the loud noise of a woman screaming in pain. I winced. I could almost feel the woman's pain._

_The darkness was beginning to fade away and I found myself in a room...an alcove. Was I in Homehill?_

_The screaming persisted._

_My eyes immediately locked on a group of female Na'vi huddled over something...the source of the screaming. What was that they were huddled over? I took a few steps forward._

_I heard one of the women Na'vi gasp and then suddenly the screaming of the woman blended into the sound of crying..._

_The sound of a baby crying._

_This woman had just given birth!_

_The woman's screaming was choked off into heavy breathing._

_"Give her to me," A voice, hoarse from screaming, breathed. A familiar voice._

_"What are you going to name her?" A woman Na'vi asked._

_There was a moment of silence. I stepped closer hoping for a better look of the woman who had just given birth. I tried to move past the women, but the women sat as barriers between me and the mystery woman._

_"Jeslyn," the voice whispered._

_Just as the female Na'vi in front of me leaned forward to reveal the face of the woman, my vision was cut away._

* * *

And suddenly I was back at Utral Aymokriy .

I gasped in shock.

It had been Tali's face.

"Jessy," came Gar'han's alarmed voice.

But his voice was drowned out by my racing pulse behind my ears.

My world had been I'd known to be true about myself was lie. I'd been living a lie. I wanted to deny...to fight it. But I couldn't. The truth had been slapped in my face. There was no denying, no fighting it.

I wasn't a man-made item, a science experiment, part of the RDA's property.

Suddenly I felt large hands on my face shaking me. "Jessy!" Gar'han repeated.

I snapped out of my stupor and met his eyes. I was like him, I realized. A Na'vi.

A native.

"What did you see?" he asked.

I shook my head and slipped out of his grasp. How could I explain that my world had suddenly been flipped upside down?

What was I going to do? I shakily pulled a strand of hair behind my ear.

My mind singled in on one question.

Why?

Why would they tell me that I was made from Na'vi blood when I was actually native born? Why would they do this! There had to be a mistake. This couldn't have been intentional! I just couldn't see any reason for it.

"She's your _sa'nok_ isn't she?" Gar'han stated quietly.

I nodded mutely. I had a mother. And a father...this was all so strange and backwards. I felt sick.

"Let's go," Gar'han murmured leading me out of the drooping branches and back to his direhorse. Just like before, he lifted me effortlessly onto the horse and settled in behind me. The direhorse took off.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed before we came to a stop. Probably only a few minutes. Gar'han slid off the horse and helped me down.

I was spaced out.

Thoughts were shuffling through my head, unorganized. Was I really kidnapped the way Tali had said or was it just one big accident? I didn't want to believe the first but how could this be an accident? It wasn't like I just dropped down into the RDA base. Someone had to have taken me. But who and of course why? I wondered what Helen's reaction would be when I told her. She couldn't already know or she would have told me. I wondered Ray's reaction...

"You need to get some sleep," Gar'han said, interrupting my thoughts. My eyes snapped up to him.

We were in some kind of cave. How many random caves were there in Pandora? I looked at the large opening to the cave where Gar'han's horse stood relaxed.

I hadn't even noticed that we'd walked in here. Like I said, I was spaced out. I turned back to Gar'han.

"I slept all day," I mumbled. Although this was true, I felt drained and could use some sleep. I set my head against the cave wall and closed my eyes, not really going to sleep.

Just thinking...about how crazy this day had been. Or maybe just how crazy these last few weeks had been in general. I slid down the cave wall until my head was on the ground.

As I drifted to sleep the last thing I felt was the soft brush of a blanket being placed on top of me.

* * *

When I opened my eyes again it was daytime. I blinked a few times, letting my eyes adjust to the sun-lit cave.

It wasn't until after I'd yawned and stretched that I noticed I was alone.

"Gar'han?" I called. The cave was empty. I quickly brushed the fur blanket aside and climbed to my feet. I rushed to the cave entrance.

The direhorse stood, drinking sap from a plant, uninterested in my state of panic. So he'd left his horse? I shielded my eyes from the sun as I gazed around. All I saw was Pandora flora. No Gar'han. In my peripheral vision I noticed some objects hovering in the sky.

My eyes snapped up to the sky and I gasped. Floating in the sky were islands! I recalled from my studies what these mountains were called; The Hallelujah Mountains. I never found this topic interesting. The only thing I really recalled was that they contained a shit load of unobtanium.

Just then I noticed Gar'han approaching.

"How's the arm?" He asked.

"Better," I answered. "Where did you go?" I asked, not mentioning how I'd slightly panicked.

"I got breakfast," he answered pulling to large melons from his satchel that hung around his shoulder.

My face brightened. I was starved.

We sat down at the entrance of the cave and ate in silence.

I could feel that I was purposely not thinking about what had happened yesterday...what I'd discovered. It just leads to too many questions that I couldn't answer. I had to find the answers for myself.

"I have to go back," I said more to myself then to Gar'han.

His eyes shot up to mine.

"There had to some mistakes, they couldn't have-"

I was cut off by an angry sound that came from the back of Gar'han's throat. "Would you stop making excuses for them," he exclaimed standing up. "You still don't see it!" he said searching my eyes for I don't know what. I blinked at him. He was being a bit insensitive to my situation.

"See what?" I asked simply.

He furrowed his brow as if trying to understand me. "They lied to you Jessy. They told you that you were something that you weren't-"

"Stop," I ground out, standing up also. I wanted to shut what he was saying out. I glared at him. "It's not my fault you hate humans so much. That has nothing to do with me. I trust them."

I wasn't sure but I could have sworn I saw a fire ignite behind his golden eyes. "You trust them. After what you just discovered, you trust them."

"Yes."

"Jessy, open your eyes! You need to underst-"

"I know! That's why need to go back! Because I don't understand anything at all. And neither do you. So why don't you just..." I wasn't sure how to say shut the hell up in the Na'vi language. "Go somewhere..." I finished lamely, waving my arms in the direction of his direhorse. I looked away from his angry eyes and fiddled with the bracelet on my wrist that Fara had made for me. Immediately felt guilty. Here he was trying to help me and I was being a bitch.

He stayed quiet.

I sighed, feeling bad. "Sorry," I muttered. "I know you trying to help." I said looking up at him. I didn't really understand why he was trying to help me in the first place or why he even cared. I wasn't even sure why he didn't absolutely hate me. I was the very essence of a human. I acted, behaved, and spoke like them.

"Fara told me about why you hate humans." I said impulsively. I avoided looking up at his eyes. "So I guess I can't really blame you," I mumbled.

At that moment rain began to fall in buckets. My hair instantly became drenched.

A few more moments passed before he said quietly, "We should get moving." Completely ignoring what I'd said. Which kind of irritated me.

He turned his back to me and began packing up the direhorse. I crossed my arms...well crossed one arm over the wounded one. "You know what I don't get?" I asked tapping my foot, irritated that he was still ignoring me.

"Why do you care?" I asked. He ignored me. Ass. "Why do you care about if I trust them, or if I'm going back, or if I understand? Why do you care about me?"

"Let's go," he said quietly holding a hand out to me.

"No, not until you tell me why. You should hate me! I'm everything you hate! I'm the very essence of a human. Just quit acting like you gives a damn."

"I said lets go," he repeated, deathly calm.

"_Kehe_," _no_ I said raising my chin defiantly.

Suddenly he was standing over me. One second he was beside his direhorse, the next he was towering over me, a bit intimidating, might I add. Heavy beads of rain splashed against his not so calm face. He leaned closer to my face until I could feel the heat from his skin. Rain ran down the sharp plains of his face.

"I don t know why I care," He ground out slowly.

And suddenly my lips were on his.

I'm not sure what made me do it. Maybe because he'd just somewhat established that he cared about me. It could have been because of the stress. Or maybe it was his proximity. Hell it could have even been the weather!

All I knew was that the feeling of my lips on his felt amazing.

He was the first male I'd kissed in my entire life. Did I kiss him because he cared about me? I knew plenty of men who cared about me. No, it had to run deeper than that. But how deep could it run? I'd only known him for a few weeks.

He immediately stiffened.

That alone should have stopped me...but it didn't. My lips felt so right against his. His lips were even softer then they looked.

What about Ray? A voice asked in my head.

_Ray who?_

I pulled myself closer to him until there was no space left between our soaking wet bodies and latched my arms around his neck.

That also felt amazing.

I never thought that I'd be thankful for the skimpy clothes that the Na'vi wore. But if it weren't for them, I wouldn't have been feeling practically every inch of our skin being pressed together.

I could have swore, I felt every muscle in his body tighten.

"Jessy _ftang_!"_stop_ he choked out, jerking away abruptly. I missed the warmth of his body.

"Why," I breathed, still feeling heated from kissing him.

"I could give you a million reasons why," he whispered, sagging against a tree as though he was fatigued.

I felt an unfamiliar feeling start to set in my stomach. Rejection?

He took a deep breath and stood straight, "We're leaving." he said grabbing me by the elbow and dragging me to the direhorse.

"But it's raining," I protested weakly.

Ignoring me, he lifted me onto the horse and leaped on behind me. After attaching his queue, he scooted back a little, leaving much needed space between us.

Just as the direhorse broke into a trot the sound of bullet being shot echoed through the forest.

I jumped in shock.

A bullet?

A gun?

A human!

Gar'han slowed the horse to a stop. I leaned back to see his face. His head was tilted to the sound of the bullet with one ear perked up.

"Did y-" I began.

"Shhh!"

Oh, ok.

Suddenly the sound of another bullet being shot reverberated through the rainy forest.

My eyes widened.

Gar'han slid off the horse and slung his bow over his shoulder.

"What are you doing?" I asked, trying to climb down also without much luck.

"No stay put, I'll be right back."

"But-"

"Stay," he repeated as though I was a dog, and then jogged away, disappearing into the forest.

What the hell? He thought I was going to stay?

He should have known better than that.

With much effort, I clambered down the direhorse and landed safely on the ground.

As soon as I was on my feet, I was running in the direction Gar'han had left.

I dashed through the forest in search of him. He couldn't have gone too far, right?

With a wave of relief I spotted Gar'han, crouched far above on the limb of a tall tree. He sure could climb fast.

He had his bow pulled tight...ready to shoot. His eyes were narrowed at something below.

I followed his gaze to see another male Na vi, right in the path of Gar'han's arrow, standing with a gun in his hand...aiming at Gar'han.

He had a gun! My eyes widened as I studied this Na'vi closer.

He had smaller eyes then a normal Na'vi.

He had five fingers instead of four.

He was wearing human clothes. They were tattered and covered in mud, but they were human clothes none the less.

I gasped as I suddenly realized that this wasn't a Na'vi at all.

Just as the sound left my mouth the male's eyes locked on mine.

Those eyes. They were familiar. I knew those eyes!

At first the eyes locked on mine with panic. Behind them I could read _"Oh shit I'm out numbered,"_ Before they widened.

As if in amazement...

Oh.

My.

God.

Ray.

Just as Ray grinned and his dimple pierced his left cheek, one thought zoned through my head.

_The Avatar program had been a success._

****

**Thanks for reading!**

**Warning: Next chapter is rated M. So if you not mature don't read it. **


	9. Chapter 9

**This Chapter is pretty long. Sorry. Thank you for all the reviews.****WARNING: Rated M**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it. **

**R&R**

"Ray!" I exclaimed, my voice loud over the steady downpour of rain. Was I seeing things?

The dimpled grin stretched impossibly farther. "Jessy!"

My heart stuttered for a moment. It was Ray's voice! I wasn't seeing things.

"Oh, my God Ray how-"

"Jesus, Jessy. When did you-"

"And your Avatar looks just like yo-"

"-but I can't believe you're still-"

"Alive?"

"Yes!"

We both closed the distance between us in an epic hug.

"I thought you were dead Jessy. We all did. And Helen was just beside herself."

I pulled back. "I'm fine Ray," I assured. "I just can't believe you're here right now!" Millions of questions flitted through my mind. "What happened? You look like shit."

A breif homourous grin flickered across his face but then he distractedly glanced over my shoulder.

"I'd love to tell you everything Jess, but could you tell you friend over there to stop pointing that arrow at my head. He is your friend right?"

"Oh!" I'd forgotten about Gar'han. He was no doubt confused by our fast spoken English. I turned around to see Gar'han still crouched with the bow stretched, his entire body ridged. "Gar'han! I know him. He isn't going to hurt anybody." I explained in Na'vi. I looked back at Ray, "Right?" He gave a quick nod and I turned back to Gar'han and smiled reassuringly.

He slowly, and reluctantly, lowered his weapon with his eyes still on Ray.

"He's my friend." I explained to Ray. "I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for him. We heard gun shots earlier. Was that you?"

Ray nodded and motion to two dead viper wolf carcasses behind him. "It's dangerous out here. I'm surprised I've lasted this long. If I get this Avatar killed, I'll have to hear all kinds of shit from the base."

I nodded in agreement. Avatars were extremely expensive. "Why are you out here alone? Didn't you come in a group?"

"I was originally, but we were separated...", Ray blinked a few times as if dazed out. "Shit," Suddenly his eyes rolled back. At first I thought he was rolling his eyes at something until he collapsed on the ground.

I blinked in surprise. Glitch maybe?

I stooped down to study his face. The body was breathing. But I knew that without a driver the Avatar was an empty vessel. The sound of steady footsteps warned me that Gar'han was approaching. I peeled back one eyelid just in case. No response.

"Is he dead?" Gar'han asked, standing behind my shoulder.

I shook my head. "He's fine." I un-clipped the communicator from around his neck. After studying it a moment, I realised it was completely water logged. I tossed the useless thing to the ground.

"He doesn't look fine."

"The body is breathing," I pointed out.

"The body?"

"Yes, the body. This isn't..He.." I trailed off trying to think of a proper way to explain how an avatar worked to someone from such a neolithic up bringing. "This is just a body." I began. I could see a confused look cross Gar'han's face. "This body is just something the humans created. It's a hybrid between a human and a Na'vi. Somewhere far away, a human is controlling it."

Gar'han immediately stiffened. "So a _Tawtute_ is in that body?"

I knew he wouldn't be comfortable with this. In fact I wouldn't have been surprised if the moment I'd said he was human, he had driven a poisoned dagger through Ray's Avatar's chest.

"Yes, basically." I said cautiously. "The human goes to sleep and enters this body."

Gar'han's face morphed into disgust as he pulled further away. "So he's a..a _uniltìranyu_. A _dreamwalker_?"

"Basicaly," I repeated.

The rain began to let up. There were a few moments of silence and I knew what Gar'han was thinking; _Leave it. Lets go._But I couldn't just leave Ray's Avatar out here. Not only would it leave the body defenseless but it was the only form of communication I would have with Ray and the others.

"We shoul-"

"We can't leave it here,"I interjected before he had a chance to say it.

"We only have one _Pa'li_," Gar'han pointed out.

"We can use mine!" I exclaimed as the idea came to me. When a Na'vi connected with an animal, it was never far behind which meant Helen (my direhorse) couldn't be to far away.

"No!" Gar'ahn said, as if the idea was completely ludicrous, "Your'e in no condition to ride your _Pa'li_."

"I can handle it," I insisted. Before he could object once again I let out a high call for my direhorse. Within moments, the sound of steady hooves was approaching.

Gar'han glared at me.

I smiled back.

I wondered if we could ever go a day without arguing.

As soon as Helen came to my side I bent down in an effort to raise Ray's body. The task wasn't so easy with a wounded arm and the mudd under neath my feet only made it more difficult. Finally after a few unsuccessful more tries, I let out an exasperated huff. "Gar'han, would you pleaaaaase help me raise this body onto the horse?"

"_Kahe_," _no_ he said crossing his arms.

"_Rutxe_?" I whined.

"_Kahe_,"

Hadn't we done this before? Only I was in his position and he was in mine.

I tried for a different approach. "If you don't help me then I'll do it myself. I'll probably end up hurting myself worse while doing it but that will be your fault." After all, he did care about me right?

Just to prove my point, I bent down and continued my pitiful attempt to lift the Avatar onto the horse. "Oww, my_ pxun(arm)_!" I squeaked, for good measure.

"Ok, Jessy, _ftang_!_Stop." _He snapped, shuffling me out of the way and bending down to pull the Avatar over his shoulder. He lifted the Avatar with ease and hoisted it over the direhorse's back.

He turned to me with a glare. "Why are you smiling?" Because I have you wrapped around my finger.

"You ask me that a lot," I noted before using my good arm in an attempt to pull me on top of Helen.

"Your going to hurt yourself," Gar'han said from behind me as I felt his hands assisting me up the horse.

I slapped his hands away. "I've got this." I said between teeth that were clenched from concentration. After much struggling, I made it onto the direhorse's back with Ray's Avatar slumped behind me.

I deliberated for a moment.

It was likely that he would fall off during the rough ride without something to tie him down. It was probably best that he was in front of me so that I could hold him.

"Gar'han, can you help me?" I asked as I struggled to pull the Avatar in front of me while the direhorse shuffled beneath me. I glanced up at Gar'han who looked severely annoyed. "Or you can ride with him on _your _horse.."

His eyes flashed to Ray's Avatar with disgust and I knew I'd won.

As Gar'han hauled the Avatar out from behind me and in front of me he mumbled under his breath something that sounded like, "Way more trouble then it's worth." Finally after I was situated with the body in front of me I turned to Gar'han with a sweet smile.

"Thank you,"

He shook his head still clearly irritated, with a frown tugging at his lips.

The same lips I'd kissed less then an hour before.

"Even if you manage to haul this thing all the way back home, what do you think the Tali will say?" He asked, pointing out a flaw in my ill thought out plan.

I thought about that for a second. What exactly would Tali's reaction be? Ray's Avatar was distinctly different from the Na'vi. And if that didn't give him away, his speaking would. Ray's Na'vi was worse then Gar'han's English. Tali would know that something about Ray was distinctively human. And Tali, along with most of the other Na'vi resented the humans.

I chewed my lip.

Well leaving Ray here, was out of the question so I had no choice but to bring him. It was completely too dangerous out here to leave him alone by himself. I guessed that I could only hope that Tali would be gracious to Ray.

I shrugged at Gar'han. "She has to let him stay. If she makes him leave then I'm leaving too. And I'm pretty sure, Tali wants me to stay. After all, I am her daughter and she has to trust me.." I last part drifting through my head. It felt strange saying it out loud. "I'm her daughter." I repeated, testing it out on my tongue. I liked the feeling of it.

"This isn't a good idea," Gar'han muttered.

I looked back at Gar'han and smiled, ignoring the comment. "Lets go."

After climbing onto his own horse, he called back, "Don't strain yourself," Then took off through the forest without glancing back.

* * *

"Now you decide to wake up!" I grouched as the Avatar body that had been laying draped across the direhorses back, began to twitch.

Gar'han and I were taking one of our numerous breaks (Gar'han had insisted we take more breaks because I was "Injured") while giving the direhorses a chance to rest and eat.

With a heavy grunt Ray toplled to the ground.

I snorted.

Ray popped his head up from the ground. "Technically I wasn't asleep. Right now I'm asleep." He pointed out before climbing to his feet and stretching. As if suddenly noticing that his surroundings had changed, his eyes snapped up to the sky. "The Hallelujah Mountains are gone," he murmured. His head snapped back to me. "Where are we?"

I shrugged. "I don't know where exactly but were are going back the Horse Clan and we've been traveling for a few hours now."

"The Horse Clan?" Ray blinked.

Hmm, where to begin? "Ray, I have so much to tell you." I said, meaning it. It was unbelievable how much had happened in the span of a few weeks.

He grinned slowly knowing he was in for a good story. "Start from the beginning."

"No! First tell me what just happened to you. You completely fainted!"

He rolled his eyes. "Okay, I didn't faint. Little girls faint. I passed out," He clarified before answering my question. "There was a glitch in the system. Took a few hours before they could get it back to working."

"Did you talk to Helen?"

"Yes, and she's beyond elated. And she has so many questions. She thought you were dead Jess. We all did. Hell, I can't even believe you survived that fall!" He exclaimed, amazement written across his face.

"Neither can I. I have so much to tell you!" I repeated.

As Gar'han rose beside me, I knew it was time to start traveling again.

I rose from my sitting position also and stretched. "We need to start traveling again. We don't want to be caught out here when night falls." I murmured absently to Ray, as I climbed onto Helen and attached my braid.

"Whoa Jess! When did that happen?" Ray exclaimed motioning to the large direhorse beneath me.

I grinned, knowing I had impressed him. "Like I said, I have a lot to tell you." I offered my good hand to him to help him up the horse. Ignoring my hand he climbed onto the back with ease.

"Ready?" I asked Ray as he securely wrapped an arm around my waist. I felt him nod and switched my eyes to Gar'han. He was the leader.

He sat stiffly ontop his horse, giving Ray a look that even made me shiver.

I sighed and spoke Na'vi to Gar'han, "He's not like the rest of them." I said, trying to ease his hate for humans. I wasn't exactly sure what I meant by the statement.

The glare in his eyes didn't leave, instead he took off into the force.

"I don't think he likes me." Ray noted casually.

The only person who wouldn't have pissed their pants from Gar'han terrifying glare would be Ray. He was just calm like that.

"I _know_ he doesnt." I laughed before tearing after Gar'han, through Pandora's forest.

* * *

When we finally reached Home Hill the sun had just fallen.

During the ride I'd done my best to explain the events of the past few weeks since we'd been separated. I explained how I'd gone after my gun, fallen from the waterfall and woke up in Home Tree. Then how Almah had instructed Gar'han to take me to the Horse Clan to meet my alleged mother. I told him about Tali, Fara, and Ja'ki. I told him about my bow and arrow lessons and my direhorse lessons. And I even told him about my experience with Yukah.

I could see wonder in his eyes behind every word I said.

The only I didn't tell him about was the discovery I'd made at the Tree of Souls.

I wasn't worried that he would think different of me in the least. Or that he would tell everyone back on base about it. I knew he wouldn't. I just wasn't sure _how _to tell him.

"Jessy!" Fara's voice screeched in the distance. I looked up to see Fara on her direhorse sprinting towards us with two other Na'vi women on their direhorse's behind her.

I slipped down the horse to land on my feet as Gar'han did the same. "Fara," I greeted.

She slid down her horse also, the moon glowing in her eyes, making them look impossibly wider. "Where have you been? You disappeared out of nowhere.." Her eyes flickered strangely to Gar'han. "..both of you." She took my hand in hers. "Jessy, Tali was worried for you."

"Yes, I know Fara but there's something-"

I stopped when her attention was taken away from me and to the rustling behind me. I glanced behind me to see Ray climbing down the horse then looked back to Fara. Her eyes traveled over him and immediately the same look I'd seen in Gar'han's eyes went into hers.

I wasn't sure if she'd noticed the human clothes he wore, his five fingers, his slightly smaller eyes, or his eyebrows but she could see he wasn't normal.

Her eyes snapped to mine. "Who is _poan_?"

"I need to speak to Tali." I said ignoring the question.

For a moment here eyes danced between me, Ray and Gar'han before she nodded her head slowly and I could see she trusted my judgement.

"She is inside."

I glanced behind her to see the women and their dirheorses with distrust in their eyes. Well I guess not everyone trusted my judgement.

"_Irayo_, Fara."

Fara led us into Home Hill while the other Na'vi around us watched us curiously. Ray remained completely passive and silent behind and I was curious to know what he was thinking. Gar'han however had left me as soon as we entered Home Hill. I supposed he was upset with my decision to trust a human.

We found Tali in the nursery. Around us, small Na'vi children giggled and played, completely oblivious to Ray, Fara, and me. A few other women Na'vi, probably mothers, watched and played with younger Na'vi. Tali sat on a net with a toddler bouncing happily on her lap as she combed her hands through the child's hair.

As I watchced her interact with the toddler in such a motherly way, I wondered if she had ever combed her hands through my hair when I was an infant.

"She looks just like you, Jess!" I heard Ray whisper behind me.

Her eyes widened when she saw me and she carefully placed the child on the ground to play with the others. "Jessy! Where have you been?" She looked to Ray and she repeated Fara words. "Who is he?"

I opened my mouth not sure what I was going to say but then closed it. The loud screaming and laughing from the children was distracting. "Do you think we could speak somewhere else?" I asked glancing around us.

I felt a sticky small hand touch my leg and I looked down to see a small child with a mohawk grinning up at me. "Your tall!" He squealed. I tried my best not to cringe when I noticed drool on his chin.

"Of course," She said carefully, still eyeing Ray curiously.

She led me out of the loud room and into an empty tunnel then stopped to face Ray and I. Fara had stayed in the nursery.

"What's this about?" she asked. Her eyes finally switching off of Ray and to me.

"Tali, this is Ray. He's um a friend of mine." She nodded slowly. "He's not...one of The People. He's.." I hesitated wary of her reaction." a human."

I heard a small gasp from her. "How?"

"Well, he's..he's like a Dream Walker." I said, using Gar'han's words. "This," I lifted up one of Ray's hands. "is just a body the human created. Somewhere far away a human is controlling it."

"Ahh!" she gasped jerking back in disgust. "Jessy, he cannot stay here!" She glared at Ray. "He is unwelcome. He is one of the _Tawtute_!"

"Hey!" I exclaimed, stepping in front of Ray defensively, who had remained silent and calm. "He is not a demon! He's my friend and he wont hurt any body."

"He can not stay here." She repeated, glaring at Ray.

I jutted out my chin. "He leaves, I leave." I said, my tone hardening.

Her eyes softened as they went to me. "Jessy, don't."

I shook my head stubbornly. "He's like family."

She flinched slightly at the word family. I couldn' blame her. It sounded as though I was choosing a human over my own mother. For a long moment she stared at me, hurt, then finally gave a resigned sigh.

"I will not lose you again." Her eyes flickered back to Ray. "You can stay."

He tipped his head respectfully, "Irayo."(Thank you) I cringed at Ray's terrible accent. So did Tali.

I quickly tried to avert Tali's attention from Ray's terrible Na'vi. "I think I'm going to go bathe." Now that I thought about it, I hadn't taken a bath in almost two days..eww.

"You still haven't told me where you've been." Tali stated to me patiently waiting for an answer.

Was I supposed to answer _Well I went to the tree of souls and found out your my mother after all! Go figure! _I just wasn't ready to have that conversation yet.

So I lied. "Gar'han took me hunting." The words sounded false, even to me.

She blinked at me.

"I learned a lot." I added.

I wasn't sure if she had bought it or not because her face changed into something unreadable. "Oh..well I suppose you do need to go bathe," she murmured then she straightened. "I'll show your..friend to the dining hall. Come join us when you have washed. I'm sure you are starved."

I nodded quickly, happy she was being so hospitable to Ray. I gave Ray one fleeting glance as she led him in the direction of the dining hall. Then I went on my way to the hot springs.

After I'd scrubbed every inch of dirt off my body and hair I pulled on a clean loin cloth with leggings and a chest garment woven from Pandoran flora and went to join the other Na'vi in the dining hall. My growling stomach insisted.

As I approached the hall, the louder then usual singing and music indicated that tonight, dinner would be rowdy. When I entered the large hall, I took notice of how energetic all the Na'vi were being tonight. Many were standing and dancing instead of sitting in circles.

I spotted Ray sitting amongts a large group of Na'vi, which included Fara and Ja'ki. It seemed, by the way Ray captured everyones attention, that he was telling the group a story. I smiled and shook my head. This what I meant when I said Ray was charismatic.

I glanced around, my eyes unintentionally searching for Gar'han. He was absent. Where was he?

"Hey Jess!" Ray called in English, waving me over. I smiled and made my way over to Ray, deciding I'd worry about Gar'han later. "I need you translate for me. I have a feeling I'm butchering every word I say." He said grinning, as I plopped down next to him. I felt someone placing a bowl of warm food onto my lap. I looked up to smile thankfully at Fara.

"You are," I said, turning my attention back to Ray as I began to eat. "Food first. Translating later." I said between a mouth full of meat.

* * *

Later that night after things had settled down I led Ray to the Na'vi's sleeping quarters.

"You sure a getting along well with The People." I noted.

He shrugged as we entered to large room of sleeping Na'vi, dropping his voice to a whisper. "I'm a people person." He sure was. It had once been one of the reasons why I'd envied him. But that seemed to be in the past now.

I motioned him to follow me as I leaped onto a column and used my uninjured arm to climb up higher until I reached an empty woven sleeping net. I glanced behind me to make sure Ray was still there. He was right behind me. Pushing myself off the wall, I fell easily into the net without waking the others. I waved Ray to jump. He was still clinging to the wall, looking down below him uncertainly.

"Jump," I called in a whisper. "Chicken."

His head snapped up to me, accepting the bait. Without any more hesitation he bound off the wall and in the direction of my net. He barely made it and ended up tilting the entire net to the side as he struggled to climb in.

The net made a loud squeaky noise.

I did my best to muffle my laugh behind my hands.

"Shut up," Ray whispered trying to sound mad but I could tell he was laughing too.

Once I finally caught my breath I whispered, "Your not sleeping in here with me."

"Then you better find a new bed." He whispered back then turned on his back feigning sleep.

I rolled my eyes sitting up. It was probably best that I was the one to move. He would only make more noise. Luckily the net above me was empty.

"It's not a bed, it's a net," I corrected before climbing up into the net above us. Once settled in I rested my head in my hand to look down at Ray. What were the odds of him finding me? He blinked up at me.

"Stop staring at me. It's creepy." He murmured sounding tired then began to close his eyes.

"Wait!" His eyes snapped open. "Don't go yet...can you give Helen a message for me?"

He nodded sleepily.

"Tell her...I love her and I miss her. And I'm okay." I said.

He yawned. "Sure thing kid." And with that he fell asleep.

I blinked waiting for the chagrin to come.

It usually came after her called me_ kid. _Before, I'd always hated his little pet names he gave me like _buddy, _or_ champ. _It had hurt to know how he would never think of me the way I thought of him.

It didn't come.

I was thankful for that. I turned on my side and lay my head down to sleep.

* * *

"Rise and shine my _tsmuke_," Fara's greeted, jolting me awake.

"Wuh!" I mumbled, startled from the sudden movement in my sleeping net. "Go away. I'm tired."

"_Kae_, you've already slept in late enough" she declared while tugging my arm away from over my eyes.

"No I haven't," I grumbled, pulling my arm back over my eyes.

"Yes you have, now get up." she repeated.

"Ugh," she was so persistent. "Fine I'm up." I said loudly sitting up and rubbing my eyes.

"Shh, you'll wake your friend," she whispered, pointing down below us at Ray.

Oh! It felt as if finding Ray had just been a dream. But there he was below, proof that it had been real.

She smiled triumphantly and climbed out of my net. After stretching I followed her out of the sleeping quarters giving one last glance back at Ray.

After bathing and eating a large amount of food for breakfast, Fara and I emerged from Home Hill and into the blinding sunlight of Pandora.

"Where is everybody?" I asked, looking around as I shielded my eyes from the sun. The area that was usually occupied by busy Na'vi was relatively vacant with an exception of a few Na'vi.

"It's fishing day again."

"Oh."

After filling our flasks with water, we set out for the water hole. Since the water hole that they usual fished from wasn't to far away Fara and I walked on foot.

For a few minutes it was completely silent between Fara and I, exept for the usual animal sounds coming from Pandora's forest. Unusually quiet. Fara was naturally a chatter box which meant she had something to say or ask but she was holding it back.

"Where have you been for the past few days?" she finaly asked with false casualness.

I shrugged. "Hunting." I said, using the same lie had given Tali.

"I didn't see you bring any animals back."

"That's because I'm a terrible hunter."

She was quiet for a second as we walked before her words came out in a rush. "I'm sorry, I know it's really none of my business. It's just that you disapeared with Gar'han and.." she trailed off.

"And what?" I asked trying to be patient but really wishing she would get to the point.

"Nothing," she siad quickly, looking away. A dark tint of color filled her cheeks. Was she blushing?

"Just say it Fara." I said, my curiosity peeking.

"Do you plan to_ tsaheylu _with Ja'ki?" she asked in a rush.

The thought made my nose wrinkle. Mating with Ja'ki. "Eww. No."

Fara let out a shrill laughter startling me. After her laughter finally calmed she said, "It would make Tali happy if you did."

I shrugged again. "It sure wouldn't make me happy," I muttered.

I glanced up her to see she had a small smile on her face as her eyes gazed off distantly. "Yes, you should do what makes you happy," she murmured. Then looking down at me she asked, "Then who do you intend to become lifemates with? Gar'han?" She didn't seem as intensely curious this time.

"No, I don't plan to have a lifemate anytime soon," I answered honestly and more then a little jumpy at the sound of Gar'han and life mate in the same sentence.

She nodded, accepting my answer. "Did I tell you about the one time my mom tried to pare me with Diyeteh? You know him right? He's the one with really large ears. Any ways.." And things went back to normal. She was back to telling elaborate stories and I was back to listening to them. I was just relieved that she hadn't questioned me further on my relationship with Gar'han. Lord knows, that was a difficult topic.

Soon the sounds of splashing and laughter reached my ears and I knew we were close to the water hole. When we emerged into the clearing, I realised the word "water hole" didn't exactly do it justice. It was more like a large water oasis type thing. Many Na'vi were throwing nets into the water or pulling nets full of flapping fish like creatures out. Others were skinning fish or hanging them. Some children Na'vi played in the more shallow end of the water form while their mothers kept an eye on them.

"Takah, don't go too far," One of the mothers called to a young child swimming a bit to far.

"Are we going to fish?" I asked looking back at Fara.

"If you want." she said as we stepped closer to the large water hole I peered into the water below. The crystal clear water allowed me to see the fish swimming frantically in the bottom. They weren't exactly fish, at least not the type that earth had but they had features that made them..fishy.

Definitely not water I would swim in.

Just as that the thought went through my mind, a familiar pair of small sticky hands pressed against the back of my legs causing me to loose my balance and sending falling towards the water as a shrill yelp left my mouth. Within in seconds I was submerged under the water.

I emerged coughing. The hysterical giggles of a child filled my ears. I blinked the water out of my eyes to see the same small child with a mohawk standing at the edge in a fit of laughter. Behind him Fara stood with a hand clapped over her mouth muffling her laughter. Ja'ki stood equally amused next her, hunched over with laughter.

"Going for a swim Jessy?" Ja'ki asked, as he walked to the edge to pear down at me.

I glared crossly at him as I paddled to the edge. "Yep, just needed to cool off. Help me out?" I asked raising my hand innocently for assistance.

He ignorantly held out a hand for me. Taking him off guard I clasped his hand and, with as much force as I could muster, tugged him into the water with me. He landed into the water with a large splash. Now it was my turn to laugh, as I climbed out of the water.

Sticky Fingers (I'd decided that I would call him that) continued erupt in laughter along with Fara. Fara and I locked eyes and her laughter immediately ceased. It was game on. As she side stepped to the left, I quickly followed. Trying to throw me off, she fake-lunged to the right then sprinted into the other direction. But I had seen the move coming an quickly caught up with her by leaping onto her back and bringing us both down into the water with a resounding splash. We both erupted in laughter when we surfaced.

"Hey! Knock it off, you are scaring them away!" One party-pooper Na'vi called as he cast his net into the water. I think his name was Diyeteh. I rolled my eyes at him, as I swam (with one arm) to the shore where Ja'ki was drying off. That cast was starting to get annoying. As I climbed onto the dry land I began to unraveled the cast from my arm.

"I'm not so sure you should be taking that off so soon." Fara said, as she also climbed out of the water, wringing out here hair.

I shrugged. I wasn't sure either but I was tired of the thing getting in my way. When the final remnants of the cast were peeled off, I winced at the ugliness of my arm.

"That's one nasty bruise," Fara said, looking at my arm with a grimace. I study my arm with an equal chagrin. The majority of my arm was just was one huge black and blue bruise. There were a few cuts and scrapes but it was clear that the horse had trampled it pretty hard.

"Ahh, Jess, I'm realy sorry about that." Ja'ki siad with remorse written in his voice. I looked up at his face to see guilt etched on it. "It was stupid of me to race to you on your first day.."

I didn't want Ja'ki to feel guilty about it, it wasn't even his fault. "Pfft! It doesn't even hurt, in fact I think it makes me look tougher." I grinned.

Ja'ki chuckled at my attempt and ruffled my hair like I was a dog or something, "Not a chance kid."

"Gar'han, Gar'han!" The small child with the mohawk called in delight. My head immediately snapped up at his name. My eyes followed the child's excited gaze to see Gar'han striding to a group as he carried a large bundle of vines over his back. Well, I hadn't seen him around in a while. The child took off towards Gar'han.

"Looks like Heja found a new best friend," Fara said, smiling, as she placed her hands on her hips. I believed that 'Sticky Fingers' suited the child better. "He's my cousin. Well I suppose my second cousin because he is my cousin's son." Fara added as we both watched the child happily greet Gar'han with a hug. It was actually kind of cute.

"Do you like children?" Fara asked, her eyes switching back to me.

What a question. Growing up, I had never been exposed to children. The youngest person I knew was Ray and he was older then me. Yet when I thought of children, and image of an unruly, sticky fingered, snotty child appeared in my mind. I don't think a add a single maternal bone in my body.

Fara laughed, snapping me out of my thoughts. "You don't have to answer that. Your face says it all."

I smiled. "Children are...okay." From a distance. From the distance I was standing, Heja actually looked kind of cute as he helped Gar'han unload the vines from his back. Like, I said, from a distance.

"What do you mean, does she like children, Fara? She is one." Ja'ki laughed.

I rolled my eyes and slapped his arm. "I'll have you both know that I will be turning eighteen very soon!" I stated proudly. In America,on Earth, that would make me a legal adult.

Both Ja'ki and Fara's smiled faltered slightly. I looked at Fara questioningly but she quickly re-implaced her smile and looped her arm through mine and led me to a group female Na'vi weaving fishing nets. I recieved several greetings from around the group as Fara and I took a seat.

Reaching into a basket that sat at the center of the group of women, Fara pulled out a few long vines, the same ones Gar'han had been carrying. Then she passed one to me. As Fara began twisting the vine into some kind of braid, I stared blankly at the one in my hands. Was I supposed to be weaving this?

"Fara! Look at all the vines I carried!" Sticky Fingers exclaimed as he proudly marched up to us with a few vines thrown over his small shoulder. Right behind him was Gar'han..who was avoiding my eyes. Grudge much?

"Wow! Heja, you are so strong! One day you'll be as strong as Gar'han!" Fara praised him, as she took the vines from his hands and placed them in the large basket.

"I already am!" He exclaimed, as Gar'han added his load to the basket.

"We are going to need a lot more vines, Gar'han. At the pace we're going, you will never be able to catch up," One of the elderly women that sat at the group said playfully.

He nodded. "No problem."

Seizing the opportunity, I rose to my feet. "I can help. I mean, I don't really know how to weave anyways."

Gar'han began to object but he was quickly cut off by the elderly Na'vi woman.

"That's a great idea! It will be much faster that way." She grinned as her bony fingers deftly wove the vines in her hands.

"Ok," Gar'han muttered resignedly as he passed me a knife then stalked away towards the canopy of the trees. I quickly followed. Well he didn't have to act as though I was twisting his arm. It wasn't until now that I considered the possibility that he had been avoiding me. Was he avoiding me because he was still pissed at me or because he just tired of my company in general?

"Where are we going?" I asked as we departed from the sound of laughter and splashing and was greeted by the sounds of the forest.

"We are going to harvest vines." He said over his shoulder as I struggled to keep up with his long strides. I frowned. His voice sounded so stiff and business like. But then again, isn't that how it usually sounded? No, I think it was colder now.

"Oh," I mumbled.

He came to a sudden stop, almost causing me to run into him. He quickly placed the knife in between his teeth then climbed onto the tall tree standing closest to our side. I winced at the thought of him cutting his tongue with that knife in his mouth. As he disappeared into the trees above, I briefly wondered if I was supposed to follow. Nah.

"Watch you head," Gar'han's voice called from the top of the trees moments before a few vines came falling to the ground. Soon after a few more fell then it was quiet again.

For a few moments I waited patiently tapping my foot. I blinked up at the trees above. I didn't see him. "Gar'han?" I called just before he landed on his feet behind me with a loud thud, causing me to jump. Ignoring me, he walked past me to grab the vines he'd cut down and began to fold them so that they weren't so long.

"Here, carry these," he said still avoiding my gaze, as he passed me the bundle and I tucked it under my good arm. "Where is your cast?" he asked as he climbed onto another tree.

Oh, he'd noticed that. "I took it off. Didn't need it anymore." I answered as I placed my bundle on the ground. He didn't answer, which was good because I didn't feel like arguing.

We continued like this for about another half hour, both of us completely silent except when communication was necessary. To be honest, it was kind of boring.

I studied my nails noticing that my nail polish had long since deteriorated to nothing. "So.." I started, tired of the boring silence. Another vine whipped to the ground beside me. Then without warning Gar'han dropped to the ground, landing to on his feet. I glanced up at the trees above, which he had came from. That was a pretty long drop.

"So, what?" Gar'han asked, not sounding too interested, as he gathered the vines on the ground and began to fold them.

I quickly picked something off the top of my head, to fill the silence. "I haven't told Tali yet." I said as I took the bundle from his hands and followed him.

"Why not?" he asked, sounding slightly more interested.

I shrugged. "I'm not really sure how," I muttered.

"Your going to have to tell her eventually." He pointed out as he began to ascend yet another tree.

He was right. But I wasn't quite ready for that conversation with Tali. "I will, I just need some time to get used to the idea myself."

After several more vines drooped to the ground, Gar'han landed after them. "I think that's enough," He said, taking the vines in his hands and pulling the knife out of his mouth. He knelt to the ground and pulled one the vines out of the bundle.

"Do as I do," He instructed as he began to expertly cut the vine. "Cut the them at the folds."

I nodded and seated myself across from him as I unsheathed the knife he'd given me. I pulled one of the vines from the large bundle and located the first fold. I ran the knife over the fold but barely made a dent. Then I attempted to use the knife like a saw but failed in cutting the vine. I glanced at Gar'han and scowled. He already had an entire pile of freshly sliced vines next to him.

"Having trouble?" Gar'han asked.

I grudgingly nodded.

"Here hold it like this," He said, moving my hand so that the vine was pulled tight. "And slightly twist it."

I followed his instructions, trying desperately to ignore the heat of his hand on mine, and twisted the tight vine.

"Now you should be able to cut it easily," He said. I was a bit jumpy because his closeness and clumsily sliced at the vine, forgetting his hand was still in the way.

But by time I realised this it was too late and he reflexively jerked his hand away.

"Oh! Gar'han! I'm so sorry!" I yelped my hands flying to my face as I dropped the knife to the ground.

"No, it's fine." He quickly assured me, keeping the hand I'd cut out of my view.

"Let me see." I said reaching for the hand, as he kept it just out of my reach and my view.

"It's fine." He repeated, growing annoyed now.

"Then if it's fine, let me see it," I challenged.

"_Kahe_," he snapped, now obviously annoyed.

I pursed my lips then rolled my eyes in an act of resignation. "Ok, fine." I said, waiting for him to drop his guard. Picking up the vine again I pretended to resume my cutting. Just as Gar'han dropped his guard and relaxed, I lurched toward him and grabbed the hand before he had a chance to fight me off.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" I winced, looking at the pooling blood. The cut wasn't to deep. Not enough to damage, but still it looked painful. "I'm sorry." I repeated, as if it would make the pain go away.

"Get off of me." He snapped.

"You should rinse it off. You know so it doesn't become infected." I muttered, ignoring his protest, and studying the wound deeper.

"It's fine," he repeated. But I was already reaching to my hip, to pull out the water flask Fara had given me. After uncorking the flask, I trickled water onto the cut until the blood blended to water and it was clean.

"There, that wasn't so bad was it?" I grinned up at Gar'han and realised he was finally actually looking at me instead of avoiding my eyes. I blushed under the heat of his gaze and released his hand, embarrassed that I was still holding it. I glanced down.

I was more then shocked when his hand reclaimed mine. My eyes snapped up to his golden orbs and my breath cut at the intensity. Was he mad at me? My mind couldn't help but dance back to when my lips had touched his. His lips had been unresponsive and resistant yet incredibly soft.

Then I did something I knew I would regret later. You'd think I would have got the message the first time. But no. I had to feel those lips again.

And with that l lurched forward to push my lips onto his. Ahh! That was the feeling that I'd been wanting. My memory didn't do it justice. It was like my body temperature had risen by twenty degrees.

And of course Gar'han was rigid and resistant. And it irked me. What did he have to lose by kissing me back?

"Jessy," He whispered against my lips, as I moved mine against his. "_Rutxe ftang_." _Please stop._

I sighed pulling back and meeting his vulnerable gaze. "I would say sorry but I'm not." I muttered, trying to ignore the feeling of rejection.

"Jessy, you understand why I can't do this right." Gar'han whispered taking my face in his large hands.

"No I don't, not at all." I admitted.

"I could give you a thousand reasons."

"Yes, you've said that before but you have yet to give me one." I muttered, my face on fire with embarrassment and rejection.

"Ok, well lets start with the fact that I've already had a mate for one lifetime," he hissed making me wince. "And if that's not enough, think about your engagement to Ja'ki."

I opened my mouth to protest but was cut short.

"Or what about your little Dream Walker friend. I've seen the way you look at him."

"Hey!"

"Or what about you age. Your not even eighteen yet! Oh, and we aren't even in the same clan!"

I stared at him patiently, as his breathing slowed. "Is that everything?"

He nodded.

"Well those aren't reasons, those are excuses." I said a matter of factually. "Don't make yourself lonely. If it's because of me, then I understand but don't isolate yourself because your afraid to be close to someone." I sad, reaching up to touch his strong jaw.

His eyes wavered, and for the briefest moment, I thought I saw his eyes flicker to my lips.

"What have you got to lose?" I mumbled. Indecision was clear in his eyes but as he focused on me I realised I had one this battle.

"_Ke'u,_" He whispered seductively.

Suddenly his lips were on mine and I think my heart just about crashed through my chest. He was kissing me! He was the one to initiate the kiss? I greedily kissed him back, moving my lips in sync with his soft warm ones. I couldn't get enough. I boldly climbed onto his lap to straddle his narrow hips. This action received a deep groan from the back of his throat that made me shiver.

I was more then stunned when I felt his tongue against my lips, searching for access. I gladly allowed it and soon our tongues were moving with each other.

I couldn't believe that he was actually kissing me. I'd always assumed the attraction was one sided.

But then with a sinking feeling, I realized that it very possibly was, and he was only kissing me out of pity.

Just as I was about to pull away. I felt him shift, and before I knew it, I was on my back and his was covering me. The feeling was wonderful. It would have been better if I knew he wasn't doing it just to please me.

I gasped as I felt a finger skimming my side. I wanted him to keep going and I wanted him to stop all at the same time. I just wanted to know if this was real or if he was doing it just to make me feel better. One of his hands reached into my hair, entangling his fingers in my curls. My hands were busy caressing his well muscled back. I was slightly embarrassed to realize my tail had wrapped itself around his thigh.

I squirmed when I felt something hard nudging my hip bone. It sent a shock of heat down to my very center. Curiously, my hand crawled down to it and I felt Gar'han suddenly stiffen. As my hand made contact, we both immediately jerked back.

If it was even possible, my face got even redder as my mind flashed back to the brief sex-ed that Helen had taught me. My eyes flashed up to Gar'han's as I realized what I had touched.

"I'm sorry Jess, I-"

I cut him off. "I'm not." I said forcefully. I felt like a prude for jerking back the way I had. With sudden relief, I realised that he _did _want me and he wasn't just doing it out of guilt. The evidence was pretty clear..

His knuckles reached up to rub against his temple and he closed his eyes. He looked stressed. "You're so young." He muttered to himself. "I shouldn't have done that."

"_Kahe! Ftang." _I said catching the fist that was rubbing violently against his temple and brought it to my lips. "I don't regret it one bit and neither should you. Are you mad at me?"

A sound I'd never heard before left Gar'han's mouth. Was he laughing? And smiling? I adored the sound. It was so light and care free and I was proud that I was the one responsible for it.

"Jessy, I never get mad at you. Only frustrated." He said smiling as he stood to his feet, bringing me with him.

I grinned. I couldn't help it. Gar'han was actually smiling! "Then are you frustrated at me?" I asked as he placed the bundle of cut vines in my arms.

"No, not at you." And then to my amazement he leaned over to place a chaste kiss on my lips, causing my smile to stretch even farther. "Lets go." I wasn't sure if he had solve some internal argument with himself or what it meant for me, but I knew that I liked the way he was acting.

"But were aren't done yet." I pointed out the un-cut vines.

"We can let them do the rest," he said, hoisting a bundle over his shoulder.

And with that, we traveled back to the water hole. It was the same as we left it. Loud splashes and laughter. The only thing that had changed was between me and Gar'han.

"Oh, Gar'han, Jessy! You have brought back enough vines to last the rest of the season." The elder woman chuckled, as we approached to group of weaving women. I placed my load into the large basket then took a seat in the group. After Gar'han tossed his bundle in, he sat next to me, a bit too close to be considered casual but I doubt anyone noticed. Or at least I thought so until I glanced up to see Fara staring at us but she quickly dropped her gaze.

I glanced up at Gar'han to see if he had noticed but he was already reaching into the basket to pull out a vine. I did the same and slightly blushed when are hands brushed. I wondered if Fara saw. I twiddled with the vine in my hands.

"Do you know how to weave?" Gar'han asked smiling when he noticed the messy braid I'd made.

I shook my head. "Don't have the slightest clue."

As Gar'han leaned in to guide me through it. I could constantly feel Fara's eyes on us. I could feel her eyes drop to Gar'han's hand's every time he touched me to correct me. It was unnerving. Every now then I would glance up to her, but she would quickly look away.

Within ten minutes, I was successfully weaving.

"You're a fast leaner," Gar'han noted.

"You're a good teacher...although I have to admit, it's a bit girly of you," I teased.

He rolled his eyes at me as his fingers moved nimbly over the vine.

* * *

"Jessy!" I looked up to see Ray approaching the small dinner group I sat at, with worry clearly written over his face. "Where have you been all day? Everyone was gone," he said with a huff as he plopped to the ground beside me. I immediately felt guilty. I didn't think to tell Ray where I was going.

It was dinner time now and everyone was relaxed and eating in the dining hall. Gar'han sat on the other side of me, silently watching Ray.

"I was at the water hole. Today's fishing day. What did you do all day?" I asked.

A mischievous grin crossed his face. "I made some friends." Across the group a few female Na'vi giggled flirtatiously. I glared. Gross.

Changing the topic I said, "Did you talk to Helen and everybody? Did you tell them my story?"

"Oh yeah!" He exclaimed tearing his eyes away from the giggling skanks and looked back me. "You wouldn't believe their reaction. Well, Helen wants you to come back home of course and so do I but everyone else has a different opinion."

I scrunched my forehead, confused.

"They want you to stay here Jessy."

"What? Why?"

"Think about it. You have the better relationship with the Na'v then we could have ever hoped. You have their trust. The best kind of diplomat."

I frowned not liking the sound of that. I glanced around the group. No one was looking at us because none of them understood English. Except Gar'han.

"But ultimately the choice is yours of course. Your not like me. You didn't sign any contracts." He muttered.

I knew what he meant. Ray, however _had_ signed contracts, and he was bound to stay on Pandora for another 5 years until his contract ran out.

"What do you mean the choice is mine?"

"I mean that you get to chose whether or not you go back." He explained.

My eyes widened. So what was my choice? I knew that I needed to go back. I needed to find answers. But I wouldn't stay. I would return to Tali and the Horse Clan with those solved questions.

"Well, what are you going to do?" He asked patiently. Suddenly I was very aware of Gar'han's eyes on me.

I glanced up at Ray. Now would have been a good time to tell him about my trip to the Tree of Souls. But not here. Not in this crowded hall.

"Ray, there is still more that I need to tell you... because if it, I have to go back," I said quietly.

Ray grinned, his dimples more prominent then ever. "Helen will be happy," he said at the same time Gar'han rose to leave. I sighed watching his retreating form disappear into the crowd.

"Well what is it you have to tell me?" He asked.

My eyes refocused on Ray's.

"Let's go somewhere quiet where we can talk."

**Thanks for reading!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks to all my readers for getting this far!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar.**

"Fara, why are we here again?" I asked, uncertainly as we reached a clearing in the woods the was set up a bit like a camp with a few tents. There were a dozen or so Na'vi here. A few lounged about as they sharpened weapons or arrows but the majority were practicing using their weapons. Off to the side a few Na'vi stood in a row as they practiced shooting at targets.

"We're here for _you _Jessy!" She replied as she slid off her direhorse and I did the same. "You're always complaining about how you're a terrible hunter. The reason why your such a terrible hunter is because you are meant to be a _tsamsiyu_!" A _warrior_.

I couldn't exactly agree with her logic. I flinched as an axe landed in the bark of a tree not far from me with a sharp thunk. "That's not necessarily true," I argued as trailed behind Fara. "What exactly did you have planned?" I asked warily.

She came to a stop infront of a large, squarish, dirt patch on the ground.

"What's this?" I asked.

A hint of a smile played on Fara's lips. "A skirmish ring."

Skirmish ring? Like a place where people spar? As in a fight! _Oh no_. She didn't really plan for _me _to fight right? I was soo NOT a fighter.

"Diyeteh." Fara called to male Na'vi who was sharpening an axe. His head snapped up to the sound of Fara's voice and his rather largish ears perked up. "Ready to spar?"

"What?" I squeaked. "Fara! I don't want to fight! I'm terrible at it! I think I might even be a pacifist!"

"How would know if you've never even tried?" Fara countered.

My gut dropped as the male Na'vi approached with an axe in his hand. My eyes zoomed in on the axe. Were we using weapons? I prayed we weren't.

"But I'm not an aggressive person! I've never been in a fight! Ever! I don't think I even know how to punch. Or kick. In fact-" I continued to protest as she dragged me into the skirmish ring.

"Jessy!" She cut me off. "Stop being a baby and just give it a try." She walked to the side lines as Diyeteh joined me in the ring and threw his axe on the ground just outside the ring.

"Jessy is sparring! Oh I've got to see this!" A voice boomed from all the way on the other side of the clearing. I suppressed a groan as I recognized that the voice belonged to Ja'ki. I watched him gallop over to Fara's side to enjoy the show.

"I don't wanna-" I started pitifully but was cut off.

"POSITIONS." What position? I watched with wide eyes as Diyeteh settled into fighting stance. "Three, two, one. FIGHT!" No!

I almost didn't see Diyeteh's foot coming but out of sheer luck and not at all skill I managed to stumble out of the way before he could land a kick to my gut.

"Hey!" I exclaimed. He'd almost kicked me!

My objection was ignored as he attempted to deliver a round blow to my head. I gasped and jumped frantically out of reach and managed to end up just behind him. He could have really hurt me!

In that instance I decided that I realy didn't like this guy.

Instead of taking my chance to deliver a blow I nervously awaited his next hit. If I hit him it would make him angry. Then he'd retaliate. I was perfectly comfortable with just dodging hits.

Before I had a chance to react he began to swing punches left and right. I shockingly managed to escape, blow after blow. Taking a risk, I rolled on the ground (I'm sure it looked ridiculous) in order to dodge his next blow.

Eww. Dirt in my hair.

He dangerously swung out a kick in an attempt to trip me up but I jumped over it and _somehow _(I have no idea how this happened because I'm just that uncoordinated) I ended up tripping _him _instead. I SWEAR it was by accident.

My eyes widened as he landed on his back with a thud.

"I'm sorry!" I yelped as I watched his eyes suddenly flash with a glint of competitiveness.

"_Käì_ Jessy!" Fara cheered from the sidelines. _No! Don't do that. It will only make him angrier!_

Diyeteh acrobatically leaped to his feet in one sweeping motion.

I didn't see his next punch coming.

I gasped as his fist connected with my noise and I swear I could feel a jolt of pain lace all the way up to my brain.

He_ hit_ me!

This was the part where I supposed to get really angry and finally strike out in vengeance. Perhaps deliver a sharp kick to his kidney or throw a few deadly punches. I should have.

But like I said before. I'm not an aggresive person.

My lower lip trembled and my eyes stung as my hands flew up to my nose. "You hit me." I whimpered pathetically, my voice muffled behind my hands.

Diyeteh froze and glanced at Fara uncertainly.

"Okay, okay. Fight over." Fara broke in waving her arms. To her side, Ja'ki was hunched over in laughter.

"Well, what are you laughing at!" I snapped, resisting the urge to stomp my foot.

Ja'ki attempted to calm his laughter as he explained. "It's just you looked like you were about to cry then you said _'he hit me'_"! He mimicked me in a high pitch voice. He broke off in laughter again. "It was so cute!" CUTE?

I gasped as my hands fell from my face and curled into fist at my sides. "CUTE? I just got my ass handed to me and you think it's cute! You're sick!"

"Jessy you weren't that bad." Fara said as she lead me out of the ring. "Ignore Ja'ki. With a little practice I'm sure you could do great."

I smiled, Ja'ki forgotten. "You really think so?"

"Of course. And if fighting isn't your talent, I'm sure we will find out what is!" She encouraged.

Just then I noticed Ray standing in a row of Na'vi practicing with a bow and arrow. I don't know how I didn't notice him before. He stood out like a sore thumb since he was still wearing his human clothes. I watched in envy as the arrow landed exactly on target. Of course.

At that moment Ray glanced back and noticed me. "Jessy!" he greeted and approached me as he swung his bow over his shoulder. Fara went off probably to join Ja'ki. Ray squinted at me as he came closer. "What happened to you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your nose, it's bleeding," he said.

"Oh," I mumbled reaching up to my nose. My hand came back bloody. Oh gross! "That _ass-face _over there is what happened to me." I said accusingly, pointing to Diyeteh who had resumed sharpening his stupid axe. My hand fluttered in the air, unsure where to wipe the blood off.

Ray's eyes flashed with anger. "He hit you?"

I sighed. "Yeah but we were sparring so I guess I shouldn't be mad." Without thinking, I wiped my hand on my leg forgetting I was wearing a loin cloth instead of pants. Great, now I had blood on my face, my hands, and now my thigh.

"Shouldn't be mad? Of course you should be mad. Want me to go kick his ass for you?" Ray asked throwing his arm around my shoulder playfully.

I stiffened under his arm, "No," I said as I shrugged his arm off me.

"Your not still mad at me are you?" He asked, raising and eyebrow at my slightly cold demeanor.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "I'm going to go clean up."And with that I leaped onto my direhorse and headed for Home Hill.

As Helen trotted beneath me my mind wandered back to the discussion that Ray and I had only a week ago.

**_Flashback: One week ago_**

_"What do you mean the choice is mine?"_

_"I mean that you get to chose whether or not you go back." Ray explained._

_My eyes widened. So what was my choice? I knew that I needed to go back. I needed to find answers. But I wouldn't stay. I would return to Tali and the Horse Clan with those solved questions._

_"Well, what are you going to do?" He asked patiently. Suddenly I was very aware of Gar'han's eyes on me._

_I glanced up at Ray. Now would have been a good time to tell him about my trip to the Tree of Souls. But not here. Not in this crowded hall._

_"Ray, there is still more that I need to tell you... because of it, I have to go back," I said quietly._

_Ray grinned, his dimples more prominent then ever. "Helen will be happy," he said at the same time Gar'han rose to leave. I sighed watching his retreating form disappear into the crowd._

_"Well what is it you have to tell me?" He asked._

_My eyes refocused on Ray's._

_"Let's go somewhere quiet where we can talk."_

_Both Ray and I rose and slipped away from the loud hall of Na'vi and trailed into a quiet, vacant tunnel. As we walked my mind played over the possible way's I could explain my situation to Ray. I bit my lip nervously, unable to think a smooth way of saying what I needed to tell him._

_"Jess, what is it?" Ray asked, picking up my nervousness._

_I sighed and stopped in a place that I thought was private enough. "It's about..." I struggled for right words. "..my ,er, parentage."_

_Ray blinked blankly back at me for a moment. "Parentage? Jess you don't have parents. What do you mean?"_

_I took a deep breath and started over. "Okay, so you know how we found you way out by the the Halleujah Mountains?" I didn't wait for his response. "Well Gar'han and I were there because the night before we had visited the Tree of Voices."_

_Ray again gave me another blank look. Shoot, I'd started off wrong again._

_"Do you remember the woman that you said looked just like me?"_

_He nodded._

_The rest came out in a jumbled rush. "Well when I first came here she told me she was my mother. And I was like, no you aren't, and she was like, oh yes you are. SO I was like whatever and decided to stay so I could convince her I wasn't her daughter and while I did that I could learn all the skills I needed to survive in the forests and make it back to base in one piece. But then I started to feel all guilty because I felt like I was using Tali. But then Gar'han took me to the Tree of Voices! And it showed things from the past and all my ancestors and then it showed me a woman giving birth and the woman was Tali and the baby was me!" I finished out of breath._

_Ray stared at me for a moment then opened his mouth then shut it again. Finaly he asked, "What exactly are you saying."_

_I grabbed his arms and looked at him levelly. "Ray, Tali is my mother."_

_Ray squinted at me. "Your mother?"_

_"My mother."_

_"Your mother?"_

_"Yes! My biological mother!"_

_"Because...the tree told you?" _

_"Yes! No. I mean, when you put it like that it sounds stupid but technically yes. The tree showed me visions of my ancestors and my past."_

_Ray looked at me incredoulously and I dropped my hands away from his arms as I noticed the look in his eyes._

_He didn't believe me. "Jess, do you know how that sounds."_

_I felt a spike of anger. "Yes! Eywa showed me that Tali was my mother."_

_"Since when did you believe in Eywa?"_

_"Is that bad?"_

_"No!"_

_"So what's the problem?"_

_Ray took a deep breath and locked eyes with me. "Jessy I support or beliefs and all but just because you believe in Eywa doesn't mean I have to."_

_"I don't care if you believe in Eywa or not, I just want you to believe in me." I said._

_"You have to understand Jess, this is hard for me to believe. Why would the RDA tell you that you were something that you not?"_

_"I don't know and that's why I need to go back. To find out why."_

_"Have you ever considered that this woman could have been your DNA donor or related to that person?"_

_I glared at Ray. "Tali is my mother."_

_"Jess you can't be mad at me because I don't believe in Eywa."_

_But that wasn't it. That wasn't the reason I was angry. I was more hurt that he wasn't taking my side and didn't believe what I was telling him._

_I sighed. "I'm going to bed."_

**_Flashback ended._**

I made my way through the tunnel headed for the hot springs.

Ray and I almost never argued and when we did, it was never really over something serious. I didn't like being cross with Ray but I couldn't understand why he didn't believe me. Maybe I was over reacting. He would eventually come around. I was sure of it.

I was so deep into my thoughts that I didn't see Gar'han until he caught my arm.

"What happened to you?" He asked as he took in the blood on my face, hands and thigh. I realised there was some on my stomach. How did that get there?

"I was sparring. I think my nose is broken." I slightly pouted.

I held back a gasp as he reached up to gently probe my nose. "It's fine. You must be prone to nose bleeds."

I blushed because this was in fact true. I felt him take my hand. "Come on, lets get you cleaned up," he said with a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

I couldn't stop the catish grin that spread ear to ear. As I trailed after him I noticed his hair looked damp. Had he just bathed? I leaned a took a deep breath. Man! He smelled good. Fresh.

We reached the hot springs, which were thankfully empty, and I walked over to the edge and sat down, letting my feet dip in the warm water. Gar'han joined me at the edge, not putting his feet in but instead to dip something in the water. As he wrung it out I noticed it was a cloth.

He brought the cloth to my face and softly wiped away all traces of the blood. My eyes locked on his as he worked, while his eyes trailed down from my nose to my lips. He dipped the cloth back in the water then rung it out. My heart rate picked up when he gently brushed the cloth against my lips and chin. I couldn't stop my tongue from flicking out to quickly to lick my lips.

Gar'han hadn't kissed me since the day we had harvested vines together and I couldn't help but desperately hope he would do it again.

My eyes flickered down to his full lips. He leaned in towards me and I closed my eyes. But instead his lips on mine I felt the cloth trail down my chin and over my throat. My heart was beating so loud I was sure he could feel it through the cloth.

Kiss me!

A small smile played over his lips. He could definitely here it. The cloth went further and trailed between the valley between my breasts. I let out a sharp breath and the cloth traveled further to wipe at me stomach. And to my disbelief Gar'han boldly brought the cloth to my inner thigh then wipe away the blood that was there. I gasped and caught his hand and pulled him in for a heated kiss.

As I crushed my lips against his he slipped into the water and I muffled a giggle. The giggle was cut short as he nestled his way between my legs and his hand traveled to waist to pull me closer to him. I dragged my hand up into his thick black hair as I enjoyed the feeling of being so close to him. He groaned as I undid his braid and ran my fingers through his hair. It was so soft!

He lips trailed to my throat to deliver hot open mouthed kisses. I opened my eyes in shock as he roughly undid the clasp to my chest garmet behind my back. Just as he was about to undo the tie at the back of my neck I froze as I felt a familiar clench below my abdomen.

And I don't mean the good kind.

I suppressed a groan. My body had such great timing.

"What is it?" Gar'han asked, his voice rough, as he continued to trail kisses against my neck.

"Nothing," I muttered as I pulled and watched his hair fall over his shoulder. I'd never seen his hair down before. It reached just past his shoulder. My mind was taken off his hair and back to my current situation as I was assaulted with another cramp. I wondered what Na'vi women did when it was _that_ time of the month. I doubted they had tampons. I needed to find Fara. "I just remembered I need to ask Fara something."

He groaned pulled me back towards him, "Can't it wait?"

Another cramp. "Nope. Sorry, I'll see you at supper."I said standing up.

"Wait," he said, climbing out of the water. I watched in awe as the water cascaded down his sculpted body. He pulled me in for another heated kiss before saying huskily, "We'll finish this later."

Oh, I liked the sound of that.

I left the hot springs with red cheeks in search of Fara.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

"Thanks Fara." I said again as we left the alcove we had been talking in. She hadn't given me tampons but what she did give something else that would do and some type of herb that got rid of cramps.

"No problem!" she said with a smile but then the smile slightly faltered. "Just be careful around the men you know."

"What do you mean?" I asked confused by her statement.

She caught my confused look then slowed down to a stop. "Since your in heat." She prompted.

In heat? Eww. That made me sound like a dog. "In heat?"

"Yes in heat. Men can't help but...respond when women are in heat." She said as if this was common information.

My eyes widened as blood rushed to my cheeks. Na'vi men could...smell that? "No way!" I gasped.

Her eye brows raised. "You didn't know that?"

I shook my head vigorously.

A giggle escaped her lips. "Jessy! How can you be almost eighteen and NOT know this."

I rolled my eyes. "I was raised by humans remember."

When we reached the hall of Na'vi, Fara and I got our bowl of super and joined many other Na'vi around a firepit as and elder man told a story about our ancestors.

As I sat down I noticed that punk Diyeteh a few feet away from me, happily munching on his dinner.

I hoped he choked. But not in a bad kind of way. Just in away that would embarass him. I felt the presense of someone sit next to me and noticed it was Ray.

"Still mad at me?" Ray whispered after he took a sip from his bowl.

I shook my head and tried to listen to the story the elder man was telling. But honestly it was too boring.

"Yes you are." Ray whispered. "Since when did you hold grudges."

"I don't!" I whispered back. "I'm not mad at you!"

"Yes you are, look at that frown." Ray grinned poking at my lips with his finger. "What will it take for you to forgive me?"

I slapped away at his hand. Then I got an idea as my head snapped to Diyeteh. "I know what you can do. See that butt-munch over there?" I asked as quietly as I could as I motioned towards Diyeteh. "That's Diareah, OOPS, I mean Diyeteh."

Ray giggled like a little girl and nodded, knowing I had something mischievious in mind. "He's the one that broke my nose," Okay, he didn't actually break my nose, and I'm prone to nose bleeds but whatever, "I'd like you to rough him up a bit. Nothing too bad or violent. I trust you can handle it?" I asked in a whisper.

"I can handle it," he said as he rubbed his hands together. As he made a move to stand up I caught his arm.

"Wait not yet, stupid! It's too obvious!" I hissed.

"How is it obvious?"

I blinked. He was right. "Oh, right. Go! Don't make eye contact."

"With who?"

"Me! Go!"

Ray slowly stood up into a crouch as his eyes darted around. I had to muffle a laugh into my shoulder. A few Na'vi glanced at Ray curious as to why he was crouched like an idiot ninja but mostly their focus was on the old man's boring story. I glanced across the fire pit and saw Gar'han who watching Ray. My cheeks tinted remembering our previous encounter. I noticed his hair was back in one neat long braid.

Suddenly Fara's words flitted through my mind. _Men can't help but...respond when women are in heat. _Was _that_ the reason why he had been so_...passionate?_

I was quickly distracted from my thoughts at the sound of a loud howl.

My head whipped around and I leaned back to see Diyeteh's tail being crushed beneath Ray's foot. Ray slapped the bowl out of Diyeteh's hand and it clattered to the ground as my hands flew to my mouth as I muffled my laugh.

"You're not supposed to hit girls ass-hole," I heard Ray say as he grounded Diyeteh's tail beneath his heal. He had said it in English so I doubt any one understood him.

All the other Na'vi regarded Ray with wide eyes.

Ray lifted his head as he realised everyone's attention was on him, "Please continue." He said in Na'vi to the elder who's story he'd interupted.

To my amazement after a few awkward moments of silence, the old man cleared his throat and continued on with his story. With a grin Ray slinked back to my side, receiving a few uneasy glances from the other Na'vi on his way.

"That was so obvious!" I hissed slapping his arm as he sat next to me.

"But you forgive me now right?"

I giggle. "I guess."

"And I do believe you Jessy," he added more seriously now, "If you believe she's your mother then so do I. Whatever you plan on doing, just know that I've got your back."

I smiled, touched by his show of care. "Thanks Ray." I glanced over in Diyeteh's direction to see him nursing a bruised tail and sending us dirty looks. I suppressed another smile.

I looked back at Ray to see he had a funny look in his eye. "What?"

He grinned flashing those dimples of his. "You smell _really_ good."

**A/N: Thanks for reading so far and I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. ****Please leave me a review. I read em all!**


	11. Chapter 11

**So...I know it's been a while but lets just ignore that and get onto the next chapter shall we? Waring: Long chapter ahead :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar or Pandora or and Prolemuris**

"Ray, if you're going to have your butt in the air the least you can do is put on some pants." I called after Ray's blue patterned butt that was climbing after a poor Prolemuris in the tree tops above. Ray had recently developed an crazy idea that we could make a pet out of a Prolemuris and was now determined to catch one and become best friends with it.

"I do have some on!" He yelled back, out of breath from chasing the annoyed lemur.

"That is a_ loin _cloth."

"Ahh!" Came Ray's strangled cry from the tree tops above, followed by his large body tumbling down through the branches of the tree and landing with a large "Huff!"

I rolled my eyes. This wasn't the first time today that Ray had fallen. "Can we head back now? I really have to pee." I complained as Ray climbed to his feet and dusted himself off.

"Can't you go over behind some bushes or something?"

I gave him a flat look. He couldn't be serious.

He sighed. "Ok fine, I'm hungry anyways."

I grabbed my pack off of the ground that contained meat wraps we had been using to try and bait the Prolemuris with. "We can try again tomorrow." I smiled, throwing the pack over my shoulder and joining Ray in the short walk back home.

After walking in mutual silence for a few moments Ray said, "So what's the plan?"

"Plan?" I asked, confused.

"You know. The grandmaster plan of discovering the truth behind the whole parentage thing. Are you planning on going back to base soon? How are you gonna do it? The _plan_," He explained. "You have been planning right?"

"Oh." I muttered. To be honest I had no clue. "What do _you _think I should do?" I asked hoping he would have some ideas.

A thoughtful expression passed over his face for a moment before he answered my question. "Well, if I were you I'm not sure if I would inform base that I was coming back."

"Why not?" I enquired.

"You may not know much about this, but the RDA has been known to do..shifty things in the past." I blinked in surprise. I'd never heard anything about the RDA doing anything bad. But honestly I'd lived a very sheltered life up to this point."Let's say..supposedly," he gave me a pointed look,"That the RDA _did_ kidnap you from the clan when you were two years old. They aren't going to want a scandal like that to reach the public or even worse, reach Earth. They won't hesitate to ensure you are kept quiet..and things could turn out ugly. They will do anything nefarious if it means keeping you a secret."

My eyes widened at Ray's words. Anything? For the first time ever I felt I small spike of fear of the RDA.

"Now let's say you don't inform base your coming back. You only let a select few people know such as Helen and few trustworthy people that I know. We could slip in, talk to a few people, and get to the bottom of this whole thing without causing a scene. That way you get the answers you need, but _safely_."

I nodded thoughtfully. Ray had a point. If I only told a few people, things were less likely to end up badly. Then something occurred to me. "You said _'we_'". I pointed out.

Ray grinned. "You didn't think I was going to let you do this alone did you, kid?"

I grinned back. "So how are we going to get there?"

Ray shrugged. "I wouldn't recommend calling in for a gunship. Too suspicious. From the looks of it, were going to have to do this on foot."

"You mean horseback. I have a direhorse remember?" I added. "I could teach you to ride a direhorse of your own so that Helen won't have to carry both our weight."

His face lit up with excitement and I couldn't help but chuckle. Ray may be ten years older then me, but he was still a kid at heart.

"I think the biggest question is when. When are we going to do all of this?" Ray questioned.

I thought for a moment. I felt no rush, but it was probably best to get this whole thing over with. I still had the matter of talking to Tali to deal with. "There are some things I need to take care of first. We can do it after I turn eighteen. Then I'll let you know."

He nodded and we continued walking in mutual silence. "So.." He said breaking the silence and after a short pause continued, "How long has that thing between you and the stiff guy been going on?"

My mouth fell open in surprise at Ray's words. How did he know about that? Gar'han and I had kept our whole budding 'relationship' pretty low key. Why was Ray so damn observant? The last person I wanted to talk about my love life to would be _Ray._I stammered for an awkward moment. "Huh-wha? Um..." I glanced up at him to see he was smirking. I sent him a sharp glare and grumbled "I don't know who you are talking about".

"Jess," He said a bit more seriously this time. "You'll be turning eighteen very soon. And according to Na'vi tradition you'll be able to chose your lifemate. Will you chose him?" He probed.

"No!" I said quickly, my cheeks heating up in embarrassment. "I mean, well...no." Things were just beginning with Gar'han and becoming lifemates would be too much too soon for me. Besides that, the thought bonding with one person..for the rest of my life was still something I was no where ready for. I felt too young, too immature for such a serious decision.

"Jessy, the Na'vi take mating very seriously," He said slowing our walk to a stop and eyeing me intently. "You may not have much planned for your relationship with him, but he may. He seems much older and more experienced then you. Make sure you know what you're doing, and what you want out of the whole thing."

I gulped. Just what _did_I want from my relationship with Gar'han? Until now I'd never put much thought into what was going on between Gar'han and I. Instead I just went along with it. With a slight sinking feeling I released that my attraction to Gar'han so far had been a physical thing. It was all so new and exciting to me that, up until now, I hadn't noticed that I really had no clue what I was doing.

I found it ironic and slightly amusing that Ray thought Gar'han was to old for me. If he only knew who my previous attentions were towards...Something told me Ray didn't really like Gar'han. I voiced this thought."You don't like him do you?"

Ray smirked. "It's hard to like someone who constantly sends you death threats with their eyes" I giggled at this. True. Gar'han had a tendency to shoot eye daggers at Ray.

"I'm only concerned for you." he said softly, ruffling a hand in my hair..

I smiled back. "Thanks Ray." I said just as we were arriving at the above ground camp where many Na'vi were gathered. I spotted Fara emerging fom a tent and was surprised to see a baby being held in a sling to her chest.

"Who's is that?" I blurted dumbly as I approached her after leaving Ray by the firepit in the center of the camp, knowing the baby couldn't belong to her.

"_Fnu_,(_hush_) he is asleep." She said in a hushed tone.

"Oh right sorry!" I whispered quickly, although everyone around us continued to speak at normal volume. "Why did you bring him here?" I asked.

"I'm watching him for my older cousin but a few hunters and I are going to take a _Nek'tum tsu'yahnee s'ashk'ey_ and fish. Do you think you could watch him for little while I'm gone, please?" She asked as she began to remove the sling from around her neck.

"Um.. what's a _Nek'tum tsu'yahnee s'ashk'ey_?" I asked. She was already placing the baby sling softly around my neck. I was distracted for the moment by the odd weight of the little baby cradled against my chest as he slumbered.

"You know, _wood that lays on water_. A canoe. I just fed him so he should be fine. _Irayo, (thanks)" _she said as she dissapeared back into the tent. I blinked and stumbled away to the fire pit carrying a random baby, still having to go pee.

I took a seat next to Ray at the fire pit as I stared dumbfounded at the baby I was holding. He had soft little features, barely touched with light rounded patterns. He was so cute! And so tiny! I resisted the urge to lean closer and take a deep whiff of his little baby aroma.

"Your holding a baby." Ray stated, just now noticing the bundle slung across my chest was a breathing.

"Really Ray? Because I hadn't noticed."

"Why are you holding it?"

"Fara is going to go canoeing and asked me to."

"Who's is it?"

"Fara's cousin's."

"What's her name?"

"I don't know. I've never met her."

"I'm talking about the baby."

"It's a boy, not a girl!"

"How was I supposed to know?"

"Well why did you assume the baby was a girl?"

"Why did you assume Fara's cousin was a girl?"

I blinked for a moment as Ray grinned childishly. For whatever reason, Ray found humor in confusing me. "If I wasn't holding an infant right now I'd break my foot in your a-"

"But you _are _in fact holding an infant so you can keep your feet out of my a-"

"_Irayo _Jessy! I'll be back in a little bit." Fara called from across the camp, where her and Ja'ki were carrying a hardwood carved canoe that looked to be about 5 meters long. I pouted. They were about to participate in an extreme, and fun water sport while I baby sat a child whose name I didn't even know. I hoped Ja'ki's big ass sunk the canoe. With one final, happy wave, Fara dissapearedd off with Ja'ki to go have some extreme fun.

"What's the pout for?" Ray asked as he stuffed his mouth with a meat wrap. Was that the same wrap we'd been using to bait the prolemuris with?

"I don't want to babysit, I want to canoe." I sniffed, staring dejectedly into the fire.

Ray rolled his eyes at me as he devoured another meat wrap. What was in those things? "Have your boyfriend take you." He said, clearly unworried.

"He's not my boyfriend!" I shot back reflexively, and maybe a bit too loudly. My outburst was followed by a baby's wail that came right from my lap. I looked at the crying baby in horror. How was I supposed to make it stop crying?

"You woke up the baby!"

"Ray, your not helping!" I growled as I pulled the crying baby out of the sling and let it dangle in front of me for a moment unsure what to do. His tiny, blue face scrunched up as he continued to sob. "Maybe it's hungry." I regarded the baby as I would an alien. What did babies eat anyway? Wait, didn't Fara say she just fed him?

"He's probably just grumpy bacause you woke him up." Ray offered, still chowing down.

"How do you know?" I asked skeptically still holding the baby in the air. I was starting to get looks from the other Na'vi around the firepit. "_Oh mind your business!" I w_anted to snap. "_Don't tell me how to take care of my kid." Oh right. Not my kid._

"I used to take care of my little sister when she was a baby." He muttered. "If he's sleepy the best thing to do is to rock him till he quiets down a bit."

Eagerly taking his advice, I brought the infant back to my chest and began to rock him back in forth. "Like this?" I asked uncertainly. glancing up at Ray. He nodded. Almost immediately the baby's crying quieted slowly until he wasn't crying at all. For a moment a bit of pride swelled in my chest at the the accomplishment of stopping a baby's cries. Phew! He almost had me sweatin there for a moment!

"Remind me never to have kids." I said to Ray, who was watching the baby in admiration. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at him. Of course Ray would be the fatherly type.

"Why wouldn't you want kids? They're the greatest thing God has given us." Ray chuckled,leaning closer to poke at the little baby's nose. The baby clumsily caught Ray's finger with a tiny hand and toyed with it.

I grinned looking up at Ray. "I feel sorry for the girl you marry. You probably plan on having twelve of 'God's Greatest Gifts'".

He smirked at me knowingly. "Somethin like that." His eyes attached to something over my shoulder and his smirk grew. He leaned in closer, right next to my ear to whisper something. I leaned in eagerly also, hoping he was about to tell me a juicy secret that he didn't want any one else to hear.

"Your boyfriend is coming over this way and he looks jealous." Ray whispered, way to close to me. If he leaned in any closer he would squish the baby. Just because Ray didn't like Gar'han didn't mean he got to make him jealous.

"Raymund, you scoot any closer and I'll rip off your family jewels so that way you wont even have a chance at conceiving those twelve kids." I said sweetly just as Gar'han arrived at my side. I smiled up at Gar'han as he took seat on my other side. Out of the corner of my eyes I smugly noticed Ray stiffly cross his legs.

"Hello," I greeted.

"_Kaltxì_," he greeted back glancing at Ray unhappily. "Why are you holding a baby?" He asked, not actually sounding to interested as he impaled (a bit menacingly)a roll of meat with a skewer and held it over the fire.

"He's Fara's cousin's. She asked me to watch him because apparently she wanted to go enjoy some extreme water sports. Her and Ja'ki went canoeing which left me as the designated baby sitter." I rambled rather bitterly. I didn't think he was listening as I just now noticed his meat roll was engulfed in the fire as he sent a Ray a threatening look. Wait. Was that meat wrap meant to symbolize Ray?

"I can take you canoeing if you're really that upset about it," Ray offered not even noticing the poor meat wrap that was experiencing third degree burn. I was just happy someone was listening to my suffering.

"_Kahe_".(_No_) Gar'han said suddenly, dropping the skewer into the fire pit, symbolically casting Ray into the fiery depths of hell. "I can take you. Tomorrow if you want."

I beamed at Gar'han. Finally something fun to do!

"He doesn't even have a canoe." Gar'han reasoned casting a look over at Ray who blinked at him innocently.

"I was planning to make one." He defended.

I snickered as my eyes settle down on the baby I was holding, just now noticing he had fallen back asleep. I wasn't surprised that Ray's advice had worked. He really was paternal. Eywa help me if _I_ ever had a baby.

Later that day, on into the evening Fara returned from her little canoe trip with Ja'ki looking happy, wet and like she had just had a blast. I eagerly deposited the child into her arms, hoping that it was a one time experience and headed off to the sleeping quarters.

xxXXxx

The day arrived bright an early. After breakfast and a bath I headed out in search for Gar'han anxious to start canoeing. I ended up in the above ground camp asking fellow Na'vi if they had seen him. A woman pointed me in the direction towards a tent near the back of the camp. I quickly thanked her and made my way towards the tent.

I pulled back the tent flap to find Gar'han tightening a bound reeve on a wooden canoe paddle. "Kaltxì Gar'han,"I greeted brightly, not normally a morning person but knowing the plans for today had set me in an unusually happy mood.

He looked surprised but obviously pleased to see me and stood up to reach behind me to close the tent flap. Before I knew it his lips were pressed onto mine. What a great way to start off the day! I eagerly responded closing the space between us, knowing no one could see us, and moved my lips with his.

When I pulled back to catch a breath, I giggled, "If this is the way we're going to spend the rest of the day then that's fine by me."

He chuckled as he reached up to softly touch my lips, his other hand buried deeply in my hair. "No, I promised I would take you out on the river and I intend to keep that promise. You especially need to concentrate today when we are in the _Nek'tum tsu'yahnee s'ashk'ey._ If you don't it can be very dangerous."

I smirked as my hands found their way around his neck, "Then I guess we better get this out of our system." My lips attached back to his as he groaned in pleasure. I personally didn't believe there was an actual way to get Gar'han out of my system but I intended to test the theory.

About fifteen minutes later Gar'han and I emerged from the tent, both looking a bit off balanced and certainly un-kept. Kissing Gar'han was becoming a new hobby of mine. I trailed behind him, carrying the canoe paddles, to the canoe rack. If we received any curious looks, I didn't notice. My attention was captured by the way Gar'han's finely toned back muscles moved as he unloaded a long canoe from a near shelf.

"Who's canoe is this?"

"Ja'ki's"

"Hand me those paddles." I passed on the paddles and watched as he tied them securely to the side of the canoe and latched a bag on the inside rail. After he finished, he grabbed one end of the canoe and told me to do the same with the other. Following his direction I hefted the canoe to my side. On his count we both lifted it upwards and set it on our shoulders. Somehow, I think Gar'han was carrying more weight then me.

"I can't see." I stated the obvious, only able to see the ground in front of me.

"Just follow me." Gar'han instructed and began to make his way over the mossy ground with me stumbling behind. He was just like Ray! He made everything look easy. Soon we were traveling through the green canopy of the forest, with me uncertain of where we were exactly. Before long, I began to hear the sound of flowing water and knew we were close. Promptly we reached the bank of a river. On Gar'han's count we let down the canoe and Gar'han forced it into the river while walking into the water.

"Come into the water," he instructed, still holding the canoe to keep it from sliding away into the river stream.

"Is it cold?" I asked hesitantly, making my way to the bank while marveling at how crystal clear the water was.

A small smile played over his lips. "Not at all."

When I took my first step into the water I sent Gar'han a mean look. "Liar." It was cold but not too bad.

"Before we get into the canoe, you should know the basic parts. This," He motioned to the front part of the canoe," is the bow. In the center is the-" He was cut off when I splashed him squarely in that defined chest of his.

"What was that for?" He exclaimed, his ears perked out in surprise as goosebumps went up his neck from the chilly water.

"You said the water wasn't cold." I explained ready for a water fight but instead Gar'han said seriously, "_Elut si_, this is important."

"Now," he began again, continuing from where he left off, "The center of the canoe is called the hull. These two saddles are the seats. This is where I will sit, and this is where you will be seated and you _will_ REMAIN SEATED for the duration of the trip." He paused, making sure I had heard that part, then continued, "The decks are here and here, which are NEVER to be stood on." Another pause. "Right here is the thwart..." He droned on about the anatomy of the canoe.

I did my best to pay attention even though Gar'han was being a fun sucker. After what seemed like forever Gar'han finally said, "Okay, You can climb in first. Just remember, your center of gravity is everything." _Finally._

With out needing to be told anything else, I made my way into the canoe, stepping out of the shallow water and climbing in the canoe. It rocked precariously for a moment before it steadied. Gar'han removed the paddles from the sides then placed them on my lap before joining me in the canoe, sitting in the front with me in the rear.

"Ready?" Gar'han asked over his shoulder as he dipped his padddle into the water, with me mirroring his action.

"Ready."

And with that we began to paddle out into the into the middle of the river. The flow of the river wasn't very strong, but enough to push us forward without paddling. I brought my paddle back onto my lap seeing no use for it and took a moment to gaze down through the crystal clear water over the side of the long boat. Through the water I could see small fish like creatures dashing through the river, never staying still.

I decided to lean back and rest my back against the deck and closed my eyes. It wasn't the most comfortable position I'd ever been in but it was better then standing up straight.

I couldn't suppress the brief smile that flashed across my lips when a breeze rustled my hair. This was nice. Relaxing. If I had my way, I could spend all day just floating along this river without a care in the world.

I considered for a moment life out here compared to a month before when I was happy living my simple life. True I was happy living that life but somehow still lonely. An alien among humans, totally unaware of what was on the other side of Hell's Gates. _This_ was what was waiting for me. _This _was what was on the other side. Freedom. After this whole experience I couldn't imagine going back to that life. That _old _life. Now that I knew what was out here.

I'd learned so much in such little time. There was nothing _savage_about the Na'vi. Just because they're traditions and culture were different from what I was used didn't make them any lesser then me. The Na'vi were fascinating. So much more then what I could have imagined. And now I felt as though I was one of them. No longer an outsider or alienable. I was among my kind.

No, I couldn't imagine going back to my old life. I was too in love with the Na'vi. Too in love with Pandora. The sheltered life was no longer for me. Eywa had placed in Pandora to open my eyes.

"Jessy," My eyes snapped open and I realised I had almost been falling asleep. "Grab your paddle, we've reached a fork."

I sat u straight and squinted as the sun shimmered atop the water. Were slowly approaching a fork in the river just as Gar'han said that formed a V. The left side continued in slow calm flow, but to the right the water rushed fast, leading to...I don't know what.

"What does the right side lead to?" I vioced my thoughts to Gar'han, as I dipped my paddle into the river.

"Waterfall. We're going left." Gar'han canoe naturally was being pulled to rushing water on the right, so Gar'han began pushing the paddle through the water towards the the left.

I hesitated, my eyes still on the right side. As we came closer to large V my mouth turned up into a grin. "No, we're going right."

"What?" Gar'han barked, just as we made it to the V I dug my paddle into the water at the last moment and sent us swerving into the right side and into rapid flowing water. It didn't take much strength because the canoe was already being pulled towards the right with out help. WIthin a matter of seconds we had left the calm waters and slicing through the brisk right side. "Jessy!"

A fierce giggle left my throat in the thrill of the dangerous water slicing past us. "Relax Gar'han! This is going to be fun!" I called as my face was sprayed with the splashing water. By the end of this we would be drenched!

Just as those words left my mouth I noticed a rock jutting out from the water directly in our path and let out shrill squeal. Gar'han reflexively used his paddle to dodge the death trap.

"Follow what I do!" Gar'han called over his shoulder as he once again leaned the canoe out of the way of another dangerous rock.

"Ok!" I leaned my body in the same direction as his and maneuvered past slabs of rock. I was concentrating so hard on Gar'han's movements that I almost didn't see the river was ending in a cliff less then one-hundred meters ahead of us.

"Gar'han! The cliff!" I screeched pointing my finger at the edge of the waterfall.

"I see it. When I say so, grab onto me and don't let go of your paddle!" He yelled over the loud rushing of water.

I gripped my paddle harder as my eyes focused on the waterfall looming in our path. My tenth clenched as adrenaline rushed through my veins. The cliff was now right in front of me. All I could think was _my recklessnesss has killed us both!_

"NOW!" Without hesitation I lurched forward and wrapped my arms around Gar'han's waist, paddle still in hand, and prepared for my self induced death.

We went plunging over the edge of the waterfall with the canoe still somehow underneath. Water rush past us heavily and for a moment I was sure we would become fully submerged. Then with a loud SMACK we landed into the water below. The water down here was far choppier and rapid then before. I didn't even have time to process that we were still alive.

"Get ready to dodge more rocks." Gar'han called over his shoulder. Without a chance to answer him we began to swerve past large rocks, weaving through the rapid paced water. We continued to dodge formations for a little while. I could feel my muscles begin to strain from the efforts of following Gar'han's every move.

Just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore we suddenly reached a clearing where the water was calm and gentle. I realised we'd reached some type of lake.

Now that the water was no longer loud and blaring I realised just how hard I was breathing. I let out a loud huff of relief. "Now_ that _was fun!" I exclaimed breathely removing my soaking wet hair out of my face. I was drenched. I giggled. "Yeah, you were right Gar'han. We probably should have gone to the left." I giggled a little more and slumped in my seat, closing my eyes. "I have to admit, I was scared there for a second." My limbs felt like wet noodles. After a moment I noticed that Gar'han wasn't saying anything. _Oh boy, here comes the long speech about how reckless I am._

I blinked my eyes open and was surprised to see Gar'han standing over me. I squinted. His back was to the sun so it made him into a black silhouette. _What the hell, I hadn't even felt him move_. "What are do-" I was cut off as he suddenly stooped down to grab me and before I could even process what he was doing he was holding me over his shoulder.

"You're going to tip the canoe! Put me down!" I squealed in panic. Without warning I felt my body being launched into the air. I screamed for a short moment before hitting the water. I emerged from the lake, spewing water.

My eyes frantically locked on Gar'hans calm ones. He sat relaxed in the canoe with a smirk formed on his face. "What was that for!" I sputtered, paddling in the water.

"For almost getting us both killed." He replied easily as the smirk widened.

I narrowed my eyes as a playful scowl formed on my lips. With a mischievous grin I took a deep breath then ducked back under the water. I glided under the water until I'd reached the underbelly of the canoe. Exerting as much force as my feeble muscles could muster, I pushed the canoe until I could it feel tip over.

When I came back from under the canoe I was laughing. I swiveled around in search of Gar'han. He emerged from the water a few yards behind me with a a glare on his face directed towards me. My laughter only increased.

After sending a large splash in the direction of Gar'han's face, I went swimming as fast I could towards shore, knowing he was hot on my tail. I soon could touch the bottom with my feet. Standing up I raced, well waded, the heavy water as fast as I could, my heart beating from the thrill of being chased. Just as I made it to shore I felt a hand clamp around the end of my tail and yank me back. _He knew I hated it when my tail was touched!_

We both fell to the grassy ground, with me on top. Before he had a chance to move, I snatched his hands and held them to the ground above his head.

"Admit it. You had _fun_." I teased, straddling his hips and leaning in until our lips were almost touching. He lifted his jaw up just an inch in an effort to make our lips touch but I pulled back still teasing him. "Admit it." I demanded.

Tired of being teased Gar'han flipped us over so he was above me. He smirked as he placed me in the same position he was in less then a moment ago. Without hesitating his lips captured mine forcefully. He pulled away to kiss his way down my throat. "Okay, I had fun." He said, I cold feel him smiling. Gar'han could definitely be fun when he wanted to be. As his hands suddenly grasped my hips and pulled me closer to him I gasped at the contact and wrapped my legs around him.

He chuckled at my reaction and continued to kiss his lips down to my collar bone. As his hands slid up my slipery hips and to my waist I felt him murmur into my neck, "Mmm, you are _soaked_." I don't think my face could have gotten any redder. I doubted he could have meant the double-entendre but _still_. It was enough to make me blush. It only made my body more...excited. And from the feel of it, _him_too. But usually Gar'han didn't let it go further then this.

Almost on cew Gar'han pulled away to lay on the grass to my side. I let out a sigh of impatience wishing we could go further and not knowing why we couldn't. I wasn't exactly sure what I meant by _further. _I, of course, had never been _anywhere _with a guy.

"Maybe one day Jessy, but not anytime soon." Gar'han said quietly, bringing his arms behind his head to stare at the sky just as I was.

"Why?" I groaned hoping I didn't sound too whorish._ Oh, come on. I'm a teenager! I'm dealing with hormones and stuff_. But really Gar'han was one sexy man, and any grown woman in my position would feel the same frustration.

"Were are not even bonded!" Gar'han replied, as if that was the obvious answer. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed him bring his fist to his temple to rub it. I hoped I wasn't giving him a headache.

"Humans do, er, stuff all the time with_ multiple_ partners and they don't bond!" I exclaimed my cheeks heating once again. I think could have been a better way to word that.

"But you are not human Jessy. You are Na'vi, and you should behave like it for once." Gar'han said rather harshly.

His tone of voice silenced me. I resisted the wince at his thinly veiled insult and stood up, dusting my self off. Ignoring the little throb in my chest from Gar'hans words, I turned my back towards him to face the lake.

"What I mean is that-" Gar'han began apoligetically but I quickly cut him off.

"The canoe is floating away." I said, ending the dispute.

xxXXxx

After fetching the canoe and bringing it onto the bank (which wasn't an easy task) we unpacked the lunch Gar'han had brought us and ate on the grassy shore.

Gar'han pointed out and named certain animals or critters that I'd never laid eyes on before. The Tetrapteron for example was an odd looking but beautiful looking creature that was completely unfamiliar to me. A small flock of them were gathered not to far from where Gar'han and I lounged. They resembled flamingos to me. Except instead of pink feathers it had thick, purple, patterned skin. And of course flamingos didn't have tails and glossy sharp teeth. I wondered how many other animals inhabited Pandora that I'd never heard of.

I spent a great deal of time chasing after the Tetrapteron just for the fun of it. I had started by attempting to bait them with fish but had soon grown bored and decided to just full on chase them. Gar'han had told me sagely, "You must wait for one to come to you first. Patience is the everything." But of course I didn't listen. Finally giving up on my childish antics I flopped to the ground beside Gar'han with a huff of resignation. I sighed my eyes pulled my braid over my shoulder to play with it.

I glanced at Gar'han to see him staring across the lake with a far away look in his eyes. I wandered if he had even notist my Tetrapteron chase. He seemed to be thinking about something.

"What are thinking about?" I asked out right.

He seemed to snap out of whatever stupor he was in and looked down at me. His expression was unexplainable for a moment before his eyes quickly flitted away. "Nothing," he muttered.

My forehead scrunched in curiosity. I wandered what he was really thinking. Not wanting to probe to much, I let it drop and scooted forward to rest my head on his broad shoulder. To my pleasure I felt his arm wrap around my waist and I snuggled deeper into his side. We sat in peace for a while as I idly continued to fiddle with my braid. I watched with complete content as ripples spread over the lake and disappeared before new ones were replaced them. I was so cozy and comfortable that I could feel myself becoming sleepy.

Just when I was beginning to doze off I felt Gar'han inhale a deep breath then hesitate. After a short second he let it out. For a moment I was sure he was about to say something. My curiosity peeked when I felt him shift uncomfortably. _What was up with him?_Just as I was about to voice these thoughts, Gar'han spoke.

"It's just better that we don't." He started. I blinked in confusion._ What was he talking about_? "I mean, don't think that I don't understand, because I _do_. I was a teenager once, too, but you don't get how serious sex is."

My face turned red in complete embarrassment. My immature little brain could only process one thing. _Gar'han just said the word sex. Gar'han just said the word sex! _I opened my mouth but nothing came out. So _that's _what he had been thinking about.

"Without Eywa's approval sex is just _sex_. Not lovemaking._ Sex_."

_He said sex four times. _I cleared not only my throat but my head. "I, um, I mean I, well we don't have to_ do that_. We could er, just , you now, do more then kissing like other things. Uh, I don't know." I finished lamely, my face turning ten different shades of red.

"But _other things_ lead to sex, Jessy." He asserted. And after hesitation he said, "I don't think you even understand the consequences of such an action."

I frowned. "I'm not a stupid little kid. I know what could happen." I blushed some more. I'd already had the sex talk with Helen. For what reason? I don't know. It wasn't as if I was ever around any male of my own species.

Gar'han was obviously concerned over my virginity and youth. He probably was feeling guilt over my age and didn't want to take way any of my innocence. However this was really starting aggravate me. When would he realise I was a full grown woman?

"No Jessy, You don't understand. You are still thinking as a human and not a Na'vi." He said quietly. I felt him make standing up and I pulled back. With slow steps he walked towards the shore of the lake and bent down to grab a rock. After selecting a few he began toss them out into the deep water.

After hesitation, I also stood up to join him. "I think I _do _understand. You see me as a kid. You think I'm too young and ignorant to even understand what sex is." I vented out my aggravation.

"No, that's not it. I realize you a mature adult, believe me I've noticed." His eyes momentarily raked over my figure before they dropped to the rocks in his hands. "I, I just _refuse_ to make the same mistake twice." With that he roughly heaved the fist of rocks far out into the water. His mouth turned down into a bitter line and I could see some strange emotions pass through his eyes.

Now I was really confused. "Wait, what are you talking about?" I asked.

He finally turned to look at me and drew in a deep breath before continuing quietly. "Eywa's consent is everything. Without it, you are going against her. Behind her back. A couple must make the bond before Eywa before they mate. To do it backwards would be... would be _wrong_." He stated. I noticed him gulp and I wondered if he would continue. "I learned this the hard way." He whispered coarsely before tearing his eyes away from me to look at the ground.

My curiosity was now at it's limits. "Gar'han, what are you talking about?" Just as the words left my mouth I thought of what Fara had told me about his past mate. Wait was he saying.._noo_.

"I've had a mate before Jessy but not a life-mate." I let this sink in for a moment. I quickly remembered that Gar'han didn't know that I was aware of his past mate. However, I hadn't known that they hadn't bonded so I did not have to fake the suprise on my face.

"We did not bond before Eywa. I was young, about your age when I met her. She was beautiful young Na'vi woman and I fell for her quickly." I fought back the hot wave of jealousy that shot through my body. _I bet she was prettier then me. Better then me. More of a Na'vi then me._ I gritted my teeth and hissed at myself _pay attention!_ "But back then I could not distinguish the difference between love and lust. There was a problem though. She was already betrothed to another man. A man much older then I. So we kept our relationship a secret from everyone. She had wanted it that way.

"It wasn't long before I relationship became physical..." I could feel a steady pulse in my temple by this point._Don't think about it. Don't think about him with her. Together. Entwined. Like a pair of- STOP!_ "We however never made the bond."

"Why not?" I blurted.

He glanced down at me then continued. "Like I said before, I was young and...lustful. I wasn't ready to carry the weight of being mate to a single person for life." His younger self sounded a lot like me. "I was _stupid _to think that we could continue on without the consent of Eywa. It wasn't long before she became with child." Gar'han stopped for a moment to take in another deep breath. I could tell this was taking alot out him just say this. I reached up to rub his back in encouragement. After a few more moments he continued.

"At first I was scared. I was so young and unprepared. But eventually I was became _happy_ that I would be a father. As her belly grew, I became more and more _eager_. I swore to myself that no matter what would take care of both Kilae and the child and never let harm come to them.

"Then the day came when she went into labor." He closed his eyes. I had a sick feeling in my stomach. I wasn't sure if I wanted hhim to continue "They child was born unmoving. A still birth. Neither one survived."

I felt sick. Ill. Sad. Sympathetic. It wasn't fair! The entire thing was just _retched_. How could something so awful have happened to this undeserving man? It was a...tragedy. I felt guilty. Like it was my fault that Gar'han was having to relive this.

Not knowing what else do to, I threw my arms around Gar'han to embrace him. "I'm _so _sorry Gar'han." He felt like a stiff piece of card board in my arms.

"I'm, I..."He stammered for a moment. He sounded so broken. "It's my fault."

I gasped. "What?"

"Completely my fault." He repeated, stronger this time. "I knew what we were doing was wrong. We did not have Eywa's blessings. It was Eywa's way of punishing me."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. How could he blame himslef for something was entirely out of his hands? And say it was his _punishment_! I pulled back to look at him. His eyes seemed haunted. He stared past me, as if he was still caught up in reliving the memory.

"Gar'han," I said. He still wasn't looking at me. I softly grabbed his face so he facing me. Finally his eyes snapped to mine. "Listen to me. This was _NOT _your fault-"

"No, I-"He started.

"_Listen _to me Gar'han. There is nothing you could have done to stop this. These things do happen. You can't blame yourself or Eywa for this. Taking away the life of a child and woman...it's just not the way Eywa works. It wasn't your fault." I said evenly keeping eye contact. I didn't know what else I could say to make him understand that he wasn't to blame. I desperately pulled him in for another hug. This time he melted into me and hugged back.

I felt him sigh. "You are not only beautiful on the outside Jessy, but also on the inside. You think the best of everybody. But your heart is young and too frogiving. All I can do now I promise to never make the same mistake again."

I closed my eyes buried my face in his chest, wishing I could take some the weight off of his shoulders. Gar'han had obviously experienced more pain then I ever had. I thought of the younger Gar'han that Fara had described. _Always laughing _she had said. Perhaps with time and effort I could bring back that old Gar'han. I knew he was in there. I'd seen him today. All he needed was help finding that happiness. And I would be just the one to help him.

I felt a small nudge from the back of my thigh and turned around in confusion. There stood a small Tetrapteron, cocking it's head curiously at me. I shook my head in wander. I had spent half an hour just trying to touch one, and now this one just waltz right up to me. Ridiculous. Without even thinking I reached foward to touch the bird but it quickly shrunk back and flitted a few feet away. Just I was about to go chase it I felt Gar'han's hand on my shoulder.

"Wait for it to come to you. Patience is everything." He said from behind me.

I hesitated and for once in my life did what I was told. I gently crouched down to the ground and held my hand out to the bird. It eyed my hand suspiciously. I didn't have any fish for it so doubted it would be interested. Just when I felt my arm growing tired, the Tatrateron to a hesitant step towards me, followed by another until it was close enough to touch. I smiled in awe and gently touched it's leathery skin with the palm of my hand. It felt just the way it looked. Smooth and hairless and a little bit odd.

Hmmm...maybe patience _was _everything. I could apply the same principle to Gar'han. All I needed to do was be patient and wait for him. I could _definitely _do that. I was willing to do anything to make Gar'han a happier person.

xxXXxx

_Eltu Si_!" _(Pay attention!)_

My attention snapped back Gar'han. I'd been daydreaming_. As usual_. I internally groaned. I was really starting to hate these bow and arrow lessons. They were so boring. And so repetitive. And what was even worse was that Gar'han had set in place a 'no touching' rule durring our lesson. Apparently I got too "distracted". Bleh.

Yesterday had been fun, exciting, and educational. And defenitly learened alot more about Gar'han. And most of all, it was interesting. But today was nothing of the sort. If I wasn't standing up I would have fallen asleep from sheer boredom.

"Can't we do something different Gar'han? These lessons are so long and boring." I whined. I felt like swimming. It was pretty hot out today and my hair was sticking to my sweaty face.

"_Eltu Si_, you need to learn this. The _tsko swizaw _is not only one of the Na'vi's most important weapons but it is also a tool. Without it your chances of survival are slim." He said seriously. "Now, _nìmun_."_ (again)_

"But-"

"_Nìmun!"_

_Why _is_ he so pushy?_

I gritted my teeth and pulled back the arrow and released. It didn't even hit the target. I was pathetic. We had gradually begun to move further away from the target and from where we were standing there was now way I would ever hit it right.

"Are you concentrating?" Gar'han asked, obviously wandering why I sucked so bad.

"_Yes_!" I groaned. "I just suck!" I complained wanting to throw the stupid bow and arrow on the ground and repeatedly stomp on it like a brat.

"You what?" Gar'han asked, clearly confused by my term.

"I said I suck. I'm no good at this." I mumbled suppressing a hot blush.

Gar'han blinked for a moment, "You just need practice."

I suppressed a groan. All we did was _practice_. "I think we should take a break." I declared.

"You have been saying that since we started." Gar'han grunted.

"And _you_ have been saying no since we started." I complained. "It's hot. Aren't you hot?" I complained. Wow, I was really being a brat.

Gar'han opened his mouth to deliver what I'm sure would have been a well thought out explanation of the importance of learning BUT he cut off by a sudden, loud screeching noise.

I yelped in surprise and dropped the arrow. "What was tha-", I was cut off by another long screech. It sounded like it was coming from above the trees. Was it an animal?

"Myweh, Jessy. It is an Ikran." Once again a loud screeching resounded threw the forest, and was overlapped by another one of a different tone. "And from the sound of it, there are more then one."

What was a mountain Banshee doing out here? The Horse Clan didn't ride banshee and we were far away from the Hallelujah mountains. "Why are they all the way out here?" I asked, slinging the bow back over my shoulder.

Gar'han's eyes stayed towards the sky. Just then a few Ikrans passed overhead, there shadows scraping across the trees. They seemed to be headed towards our home. I could tell from where I was that there were riders on their backs. "I don't know but we are about to find out." He said and then called for his mount. I did the same and quickly saddled onto the back of Helen."Come," Gar'han ordered before dashing in the direction the Ikran's had left in with me following close behind.

When we reached base camp there seemed to be a stir among the Na'vi. Several Na'vi were emerging from thier tents to see what all the ruckus was about. A large group of the Na'vi seemed to be crowded around something big. When my eyes focused in on what it was, and I noticed a leathery wing ruffle, I realized that I was looking at an Ikran. Two Ikrans actually. The riders had seemed to have dismounted and one was speaking with Tali. The other one was listening to their conversation with crossed arms.

Both Gar'han and I dismounted quickly. "They are from my clan," Gar'han said to me as we approached they crowd. The Na'vi man with crossed arms was the first to notice us approaching. Well not _us_. Gar'han.

"Gar'han." He belowed with a smile when we reached them. The other Na'vi, which was a woman, continued to speak with Tali.

Gar'han met his eyes with recognition and greeted him also. "_Kaltxì, _Dilo. It's been too long." So they knew eachother? Gar'han gave the man a quick embrace before pulling back. "Not that I am not happy to see you but what are you doing here?" Gare'han enquired.

The man hesitated and his eyes landed on me as if just now noticing I was there. His eyes went back to Gar'hanss almost questioningly but he answered Gar'han. "Come with me brother, we must speak in private." I was guessing that whatever he had to say, he didn't want me to hear. Gar'han gave Dilo a short nod before turning to me.

"I won't be gone long." Gar'han said to me.

Dilo nudged his female companion who finally paused her conversation to look at him questioningly before he motioned for her to follow him. The woman looked past Dilo's shoulder to see Gar'han then gave Dilo a nod. All three strode to a large tent near the far end of the base camp before disapearing inside.

I stood there for a moment unsure of what to do while I waited for Gar'han. Before I could start to feel anxious I noticed Fara and Ja'ki were apart of the crowd of Na'vi that was beggining to disperse. I met Fara's eyes and she waved me over to her.

I went over to join the two. "Do you know why they are here?" I asked her.

She shrugged, just as confused as me. "Whatever reason, it must be important. The Omiticaya clan do not visit us often."

I bit my lip, starting to feel slight worry. What were they saying to Gar'han right now? The suspense was _killing _me. I noticed Tali begining to leave but I quickly said goodbye to Jaki and Fara before catching up to her.

"Tali, why are those men here? Fara says that the Omticaya clan doesn't visit often." I said as I walked beside her.

"This is true. We rarely see our sister clan because of the long distance between us. Sometimes only a few times a year." Tali said. She seemed a bit distracted. If I wasn't mistaken, I saw worry in her eyes.

"Then why are they here now?" I urged. She must know something. I had seen her talking to woman Na'vi.

She came to a slow stop as we both noticed Gar'han, Diloh and the woman emerging from the tent. I locked eyes with Gar'han and I immediatley knew something was wrong. His expression was strange...a cross between worry, surprise and something else.

"They have come to collect Gar'han," Tali answered from my side, still seeming distracted. They were taking Gar'han? Why?

I scrunched my forehead in confusion. "To collect him? You mean Gar'han is leaving?"

"Yes."

**A/N: Phew! Now that was a big-butt chapter. I usually shy away from long chapters because I miss more mistakes but this one just had to be long. Sorry. I'm pretty excited to get this next chapter written soooo...no more ridiculously late updates? Maybe? No matter what, I'm not quitting this story until it's completely finished. Promise :)**

**Please leave me a review and let me know how ya'll feel about this chapter! Hang in there!**


End file.
